Tuku ha Taimi ke Talanoa Ai mo Fakafanongo

Fai ʻe Rosemary M. Wixom

Palesiteni Lahi ʻo e Palaimelí

Mei ha lea ʻi ha fakamafola fakasatelaite ki he siteiki Sōleki Sití naʻe fai he ʻaho 24 ʻo ʻOkatopa 2010.

ʻE hanga ʻe heʻetau taumuʻa moʻoni ke fetuʻutaki lelei ange he ʻaho ní ʻo tāpuekina hotau fāmilí ʻo taʻengata.

ʻĪmisi

Rosemary M. Wixom

ʻI ha māmani haohaoa ʻe foki atu e fānaú ki ha ʻapi ʻoku ʻomi ai ha peleti kūkisi foʻou naʻe toki taʻo, fuʻu ipu huʻakau mokomoko, mo ha faʻē ʻoku mateuteu ke talanoa mo fanongo ki he meʻa naʻe hoko he ʻaho ko iá ki heʻene tamá. Ka ʻoku ʻikai ke tau nofo ʻi ha māmani haohaoa, pea ʻe lava pē ke ke tuku ʻa e kūkisí mo e huʻakaú kapau te ke loto ki ai, kae ʻoua naʻa tuku ʻa e “taimi ke fai ai ha talanoa mo fakafanongó.”

ʻI he taʻu ʻe uofulu mā hiva kuo ʻosí, naʻe ongo kia Palesiteni Sēmisi E. Fausi (1920–2007), Tokoni Ua ʻi he Kau Palesitenisī ʻUluakí, ʻi he siʻi ʻa e taimi ʻoku feohi ai e fāmilí. Fakakaukau ange ki aí— naʻá ne lea ai he konifelenisi lahí— ʻi he taʻu ʻe 29 kuohilí: “Ko e taha e tefitoʻi palopalema ʻi he ngaahi fāmilí he ʻahó ni ko e fakaʻau ke siʻisiʻi ange e taimi ʻoku tau feohi aí. … ʻOku mahuʻinga ʻa e taimi ke nofo fakataha aí—taimi ʻoku fie maʻu ke fai ai ha talanoa, ke fakafanongo, ke fakalotolahi, pea fakahaaʻi e founga ke fai ʻaki ha meʻá.”¹

ʻI heʻetau feohi pea talanoa mo ʻetau fānaú, ʻoku tau ʻiloʻi leva kinautolu pea nau ʻiloʻi lelei mo kitautolu. ʻOku tau fakamuʻomuʻa leva e ngaahi ongo moʻoni ʻi hotau lotó ʻo hoko ia ko ha konga ʻetau talanoa mo e taha kotoa he fānaú.

Ko e hā ʻa e pōpoaki mahuʻinga taha mei he lotó te ke fie vahevahe mo hoʻo fānaú?

ʻOku akoʻi kitautolu ʻe he palōfita ko Mōsesé ʻi he tohi ʻa Teutalōnomé:

“Te ke ʻofa ki [he ʻEiki] ko ho ʻOtua ʻaki ho lotó kotoa, mo hoʻo moʻuí kotoa, mo ho mālohi kotoa.”

“Pea ko e ngaahi leá ni, ʻa ia ʻoku ou fekau kiate koe he ʻaho ní, ʻe ʻi ho lotó ia:

“Pea te ke faʻa ako ʻaki ia ki hoʻo fānaú, pea te ke talanoa ʻaki ia ʻo ka ke ka nofo ʻi ho falé, pea ʻo ka ke ka ʻalu ʻi he halá, pea ʻo ka ke ka tokoto hifo, pea ʻo ka ke ka tuʻu hake” (Teutalōnome 6:5–7; ko e toki tānaki atu hono fakamamafaʻí).

Pea tuku ke u toe tānaki atu ha meʻa ʻe taha ki ai: “Pea mo e taimi te mou maʻu meʻatokoni fakataha ai ʻi he efiafí.”

Kapau ʻoku tau fie maʻu hotau ngaahi fāmilí ke fakataha ʻo taʻengata, tau kamata e meʻa ko iá he ʻahó ni. Ko hono tuku ko ia ha taimi ke talanoa ai mo ʻetau fānaú ko ha tāpuaki ia ki hotau fāmili taʻengatá ʻi heʻetau ʻaʻeva he hala ʻoku fakatau ki he moʻui taʻengata fakatahá.

Naʻe vahevahe ʻe ha faʻē ʻe taha mei ʻIlinoisi ʻi he USA ʻa e founga ʻene tuku taimi ke talanoa ai mo ʻene fānaú:

“ʻI he kei iiki ʻema fānaú, ne u anga ʻaki e faʻa sio ʻi ha ngaahi polokalama televīsone mālie. … Meʻapango ia, he naʻe haʻu e ngaahi polokalamá ia he taimi ko ia ke mohe ai e fānaú.

“… Ne aʻu ki ha tuʻunga ne u fakatokangaʻi ʻoku ou mahuʻingaʻia ange au he ngaahi polokalama televīsoné ʻi heʻeku fānaú. Ne u feinga ʻi ha kiʻi taimi ke lau ha ngaahi talanoa maʻá e fānaú mo fakamoʻui pē ʻa e TV, ka naʻá ku ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai ko e founga lelei tahá ia. ʻI heʻeku fakakaukau atu ki he ngaahi ʻaho mo e uike kuó u fakamoleki he TV, ne kamata ke u ongoʻi halaia pea fakakaukau ke fai ha liliu. Naʻe faifai pea ne u fakapapauʻi ke tāmateʻi e TV.

“Hili ha uike ʻe ua hono tāmateʻi e televīsoné, ne u ongoʻi kuo toʻo atu ha kavenga. Naʻá ku fakatokangaʻi ne u ongoʻi lelei ange, pea toe ongoʻi maʻa ange, pea ne u ʻiloʻi ne u fai ʻa e fili ʻoku tonú.”²

Ko e taimi lelei ke fai ai e talanoá ʻa e taimi mohé.

Naʻe lea ʻa Hilamani ʻo kau ki he kau tau talavou loto-toʻá ʻo pehē, “Pea naʻa nau fakamatalaʻi mai kiate au ʻa e ngaahi lea ʻa ʻenau faʻeé, ʻo pehē: ʻOku ʻikai te mau taʻetui naʻe ʻilo ia ʻe heʻemau ngaahi faʻeé” (ʻAlamā 56:48).

Ko e “ngaahi lea ʻenau faʻeé” naʻá ne akoʻi kinautolú. Naʻe hanga ʻe he ngaahi faʻē ko iá ʻo akoʻi e folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá, lolotonga ʻenau talanoa ki heʻenau fānaú.

Fakatolonga ʻo e Fetuʻutaki Fakatāutahá

ʻOku maʻu e lelei lahi mei he talanoá, pea ʻoku ʻiloʻi ʻe he filí ʻa e mālohi ʻoku maʻu ʻi he leá. Te ne loto ke holoki e laumālie ʻi hotau ʻapí ʻoku maʻu ʻi heʻetau talanoá, fakafanongó, fepoupouʻakí, mo ngāue fakatahá.

Naʻe feinga taʻetuku ʻa Sētane ke taʻofi hono Toe Fakafoki mai ʻo e ongoongolelei ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí ʻi he kuonga fakakosipelí ni ʻi heʻene feinga ke taʻofi ha fepōtalanoaʻaki mahuʻinga ʻa Siosefa Sāmita mo e ʻOtua ko e Tamaí pea mo Hono ʻAlo ko Sīsū Kalaisí.

Ko e fakamatala ʻeni ʻa Siosefá, “ʻI he hili pē ʻeku fai peheé naʻe puke au ʻe ha mālohi ʻa ia naʻá ne ikuʻi ʻaupito au, pea naʻe pehē fau ʻeku ofo ʻi hono mālohí naʻe taʻofi ai hoku ʻeleló ke ʻoua naʻá ku lava ʻo lea” (Siosefa Sāmita—Hisitōlia 1:15).

ʻOku fiefia e filí ke taʻofi hotau ʻeleló—ha faʻahinga meʻa pē ke taʻofi hano fakahaaʻi ʻe hotau leʻó mo ʻetau femātākí ʻa e ongo ʻoku ʻi hotau lotó. ʻOkú ne fiefia ʻi he vāmamaʻó mo e fakahohaʻasí; ʻokú ne fiefia he longoaʻá; ʻokú ne fiefia he talanoa ʻoku ʻikai ke fai fakahangatonu ki ha tahá—ha faʻahinga meʻa pē te ne taʻofi kitautolu mei he māfana ʻo ha leʻo pea mo e ongoʻi fakatāutaha ʻoku maʻu mei he fepōtalanoaʻaki fesiofakí.

Fakafanongo ki he Loto ʻo ʻEtau Fānaú

ʻOku mahuʻinga tatau pē ʻa e fanongó mo e leá. Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Sefilī R. Hōlani ʻo e Kōlomu ʻo e Kau ʻAposetolo ʻe Toko Hongofulu Mā Uá: “Kapau te tau fakafanongo ʻi he ʻofa, ʻe ʻikai fie maʻu ke tau fifili pe ko e hā ha meʻa ke tau lea ʻakí. ʻE fakahā mai ia kiate kitautolu … ʻe he Laumalié.”³

ʻI heʻetau fanongó, ʻoku mahino leva kiate kitautolu ʻa e ongo ʻoku maʻu ʻe kinautolu ʻi hotau tafaʻakí. ʻOku ʻi ai ha palani ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní maʻá e tokotaha kotoa ʻo ʻEne fānaú. Fakakaukau angé, kapau naʻe lava ke tau mamata ki ha konga ʻo e palani fakafoʻituitui maʻá e taha kotoa ʻo ʻetau fānaú. ʻE fēfē kapau naʻe lava ke tau ʻilo e founga ki hono fakatupulaki ʻenau ngaahi meʻafoaki fakalaumālié? ʻE fēfē kapau naʻa tau ʻilo e founga ke fakaʻaiʻai ai e fānaú ke aʻusia e tuʻunga te nau malavá? ʻE fēfē kapau naʻe lava ke tau ʻilo e founga ke tokoniʻi takitaha ai e fānaú ke fakalakalaka mei heʻene tui fakatamasiʻí ki ha fakamoʻoni?

ʻE anga fēfē haʻatau ʻilo?

Te tau lava ke ʻilo ʻaki e fakafanongó.

Naʻe pehē ʻe ha tamai Siasi ʻe taha: “ʻOku ou fai ha meʻa lelei lahi ange ʻi heʻeku fakafanongo ki heʻeku fānaú ʻi haʻaku lea kiate kinautolu. … Kuó u ako māmālie ʻo ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu heʻeku fānaú ʻeku ngaahi tali kuo ʻosi teuteuʻi leleí, fakamoʻoniʻi he ngaahi taʻu lahi, mo fakapotó. … ʻOku mahuʻinga ange kiate kinautolu hono ʻeke ʻenau fehuʻí pea talanoaʻi ʻenau palopalemá ʻi hono ʻoatu ʻeku talí. ʻOku angamaheni ʻaki pē e ʻosi ʻenau talanoá, kapau naʻá ku fakafanongo fuoloa mo tokanga, ʻoku ʻikai ke nau fie maʻu moʻoni ʻe kinautolu ʻeku talí. Kuo ʻosi maʻu ʻenau talí ʻanautolu.”⁴

ʻE fie maʻu ke tuku ha taimi ke nofotaha e tokangá ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku mahuʻinga tahá. ʻOku ʻikai ke hoko vave pē ʻa e talanoá, fakafanongó, mo e fakalotolahí. He ʻikai lava ke fakavaveʻi pe fakataimitēpileʻi—ko e lelei tahá ʻa e ʻohovale pē kuo nau hoko maí. ʻOku hoko mai ia ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau fakahoko fakataha ai ha meʻá: ngāue fakataha, faʻufaʻu fakataha, mo vaʻinga fakataha. ʻOku hoko ia heʻetau tāmateʻi e mītiá, tukuange e ngaahi meʻa fakahohaʻa ʻo e māmaní, kae nofotaha e tokangá ʻi he tokotaha kehé.

Ko ha meʻa faingataʻa ia ke fai. ʻI he taimi ʻoku tau kiʻi tuʻu ai pea tāmateʻi e meʻa kotoa, kuo pau ke tau mateuteu ki he meʻa ʻe hoko maí. Mahalo pē ʻe taʻefakafiemālie e lōngonoá; pea hoko mai mo e hangē ʻoku mole ha meʻá. Ka ke faʻa kātaki, ʻo tatali ʻi ha kiʻi taimi siʻi, pea toki maʻu e fiefiá. Tuku taha hoʻo tokangá ʻiate kinautolu ʻoku mou lolotonga feohí pea ʻeke ha fehuʻi kau kiate kinautolu pea kamata ke fakafanongo. Mātuʻa, talanoa ki he meʻa ʻoku saiʻia ai hoʻo fānaú. Kata he meʻa ne hoko he kuohilí—pea fakaʻānaua ki he kahaʻú. ʻOku lava pē ke mafuli e talatalanoa noaʻia peé ʻo hoko ai ha fepōtalanoaʻaki lelei.

Fakamuʻomuʻa ʻEtau Taumuʻa Taʻengatá

Ne u ʻaʻahi ki ha kalasi ʻa ha kau finemui he faʻahitaʻu failau kuo ʻosí, pea kole ʻe he faiakó ki he kalasí ke nau tohi e meʻa ʻe 10 ʻoku nau fakamuʻomuʻá. Naʻe kamata ke u tohi. Tuku ke u talaatu ko ʻeku ʻuluaki fakakaukaú naʻe kamata ʻaki ia ʻa e “Fika 1: fakamaʻa e toloa penivahevahe ʻi peitó.” ʻI he kakato ʻemau lisí naʻe kole mai e taki ʻo e Kau Finemuí ke mau vahevahe e meʻa ne mau tohí. Ko ʻEpi naʻe toki taʻu 12 pē pea naʻe tangutu hoko mai kiate aú. Ko e lisi ʻeni ʻa ʻEpí:

Hū ki he kolisí.
Hoko ko ha taha teuteu fale.
ʻAlu ʻo ngāue fakafaifekau ʻi ʻInitia.
Mali ʻi he temipalé mo ha taha ne ʻosi ngāue fakafaifekau.
Maʻu ha fānau ʻe toko nima mo ha ʻapi.
ʻAve ʻeku fānaú ke ngāue fakafaifekau pea hū ki he kolisí.
Hoko ko ha kuifefine ʻoku “tufa kūkisi.”
ʻOfa valeʻi e makapuná.
Ako lahi ange ki he ongoongoleleí pea fiefia he moʻuí.
Toe foki ʻo nofo mo e Tamai ʻi Hēvaní.

ʻOku ou pehē, “Mālō ʻEpi. Kuó ke akoʻi au ke mahino e palani ʻa e Tamai Hēvaní maʻatautolú. ʻI hoʻo ʻiloʻi ʻokú ke fononga ʻi ha hala, pea tatau ai pē pe ko e hā e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻe hoko ke ke afe ai mei he halá, te ke sai pē koe. ʻI hono tuku taha ho halá ʻi he taumuʻa taupotú—ʻa ia ko e hakeakiʻí mo e foki ki he Tamai Hēvaní, te ke aʻu pē koe ki ai.”

Naʻe maʻu mei fē ʻe ʻEpi ʻa e ongo ko ʻeni ki he taumuʻa taʻengatá? ʻOku kamata ia mei hotau ʻapí. ʻOku kamata ia ʻi hotau fāmilí. Naʻá ku ʻeke ange ki ai, “Ko e hā hoʻo meʻa ʻoku fai ʻi ho fāmilí ke fokotuʻu ai e ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga ko iá?”

Ko ʻene talí ʻeni: “Makehe mei hono lau e folofolá, ʻoku mau toe ako mo e Malangaʻaki ʻEku Ongoongoleleí.” Peá ne toe pehē mai, “ʻOku lahi ʻemau pōtalanoá—ʻi he efiafi fakafāmili ʻi ʻapí, ʻi he maʻu meʻatokoni fakataha he efiafí, pea ʻi he kaá lolotonga ʻemau lele he halá.”

Naʻe tohi ʻe Nīfai: “ʻOku mau lea ʻia Kalaisi, ʻoku mau fiefia ʻia Kalaisi, ʻoku mau malanga ʻaki ʻa Kalaisi.” Ke hā? “Ke ʻilo ʻe heʻemau fānaú ki he tupuʻanga ʻa ia te nau lava ke sio ki ai ke maʻu ai ha fakamolemole ʻo ʻenau ngaahi angahalá” (2 Nīfai 25:26).

ʻE ʻomi kitautolu ke toe ofi ange ki hotau Fakamoʻuí, ʻa ia ʻoku ʻofa ʻiate kitautolú ʻi he pōtalanoá, fakafanongo, fepoupouaki, pea mo fai fakataha mo e fāmilí e ʻū meʻá. ʻE tāpuekina hotau ngaahi fāmilí ke taʻengata ʻi heʻetau feinga fakamātoato ke fetuʻutaki lelei—he ʻaho ní—ʻio, he ʻahó ni pē. ʻOku ou fakamoʻoni ko e taimi ko ia ʻoku tau lea ai ʻia Kalaisí, ʻoku tau toe fiefia foki ʻia Kalaisi mo e meʻafoaki ʻo e Fakaleleí. ʻE lava leva ke ʻilo ʻe heʻetau fānaú ʻa e “tupuʻanga ʻa ia te nau lava ke sio ki ai ke maʻu ai ha fakamolemole ʻo ʻenau ngaahi angahalá.”