“Where can I turn for support?” Help for Spouses (2019)
“Where can I turn for support?” Help for Spouses
Discovering a spouse’s pornography use can leave us with many different thoughts and emotions to handle. We might feel lonely and isolated and that there is nobody who can comfort and support us in our struggles. We may even feel abandoned by God. However, if we turn to Him in faith, He can help us through any difficult situation.
This experience can make us question all our relationships, even our relationships with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We may feel distant from Them. We may wonder if God is aware of us and our situation. However, He is there blessing us even when things may appear hopeless. The Lord will never abandon us.
President Thomas S. Monson taught, “Our Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and will help us as we call upon Him for assistance. I believe that no concern of ours is too small or insignificant. The Lord is in the details of our lives” (“Consider the Blessings,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 88).
We can pray for God’s assistance to be a stabilizing force in our lives. We can increase the measure of the Spirit in our lives when we pray, study the scriptures, fast, attend the temple, and patiently wait upon the Lord (see Isaiah 40:31). As we do, His grace will attend us. We will have assurance that He will never abandon us, and our faith in Him will be strengthened.
Christ came to earth and suffered for our pains and afflictions “that his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12). Our Savior knows what we’re experiencing, and He can provide support and comfort in a way that no one else can.
The Lord always provides comfort, guidance, and strength, even if we don’t see it. This support can come as subtle tender mercies that remind us of God’s love, such as service from friends or talks that seem to speak directly to us. The Lord may also inspire us to reach out to others who can help, or He may inspire them to reach toward us.
God is our Father, and He wants us to reach out to Him. As we seek God through prayer and scripture study, we will come to know of His love for us and we will know that we never walk alone.
President Thomas S. Monson taught, “Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. … It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there” (“We Never Walk Alone,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2013, 123–124).
Often when we speak of Christ, we talk about His mission and ministry, including His atoning sacrifice. In what ways is Jesus Christ a support to those who are suffering? Where in the scriptures do we see Him offering support or succor? (See Alma 7:12.)
In what ways do God and Jesus Christ offer you support or succor?
Here are some ideas that others have found helpful. Prayerfully consider what actions might be best for you, taking into account that they may or may not be listed here.
Search the scriptures, words of the living prophets, and your own patriarchal blessing for evidence of God’s love and support during trials.
Consider writing about what support looks and feels like for you. Support differs for each individual and their circumstances. What are your immediate needs?
Make a list of people in your life whom you trust and respect. God often meets our needs through other people. How might you enlist the support of others?
Prayerfully consider any concerns you have about reaching out for support. How might you address these concerns?