“How can I take care of my needs?” Help for Spouses (2021)
“How can I take care of my needs?” Help for Spouses
As you deal with your spouse’s pornography use, it’s important to pay attention to your own biological, psychological, social, and spiritual health. This will help you be better prepared to face the unexpected and often challenging emotions you are dealing with.
At such a difficult time, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. Your sleep patterns, nutrition, and exercise habits are important to your overall well-being. Health practitioners, both traditional and nontraditional, can be good sources of information and help. Many mental health professionals encourage their patients to disclose any health issues to a medical doctor and get a complete medical exam. A medical doctor may be able to help identify biological factors that you should address.
Your psychological health contributes to how you think, view the world, and feel emotions. In seeking to understand how psychological factors influence you, it can be helpful to seek advice from family, friends, and mental health providers. Some psychological influences you might consider include:
Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or dependency.
Traumatic childhood experiences such as sexual or physical abuse.
Your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence.
Your parents’ attitudes and behaviors, especially about sexuality.
Your past sexual experiences.
Your social health includes factors such as your family relationships, friends, social beliefs, and cultural environment. Your social environment can be very helpful to you. Family members, friends, and supportive social groups can help you consider options and provide you with information about healthy and unhealthy behaviors. You can find comfort in taking some time for yourself to be with others and exploring your own interests and connections.
Difficult experiences may shake your faith and leave you feeling confused, hurt, lonely, or abandoned by God. It may take time to evaluate and work through your spiritual thoughts and feelings. Personal prayer and meditation, scripture study, church attendance, serving others, and consulting with Church leaders are a few things that can help you evaluate your beliefs and develop a deeper understanding of God and His love for you. As you seek to strengthen your relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, you can receive specific revelation for your own situation.
Seek to share your feelings with Heavenly Father through prayer. What are other ways you might strengthen your relationship with Them?
Consider talking to people in your social group who will be empathetic listeners and will be able to offer you emotional support.
Evaluate past negative experiences that may keep you from sharing your needs right now. One example may be believing that protecting your spouse’s privacy is more important than feeling emotionally supported. How might you approach knowing whether or not sharing would be appropriate to you?