Principle 3: Reach Out

“Principle 3: Reach Out,” Help for Spouses (2019)

“Principle 3: Reach Out,” Help for Spouses

woman holding cell phone

Principle 3: Reach Out

We are not intended to navigate our lives alone. As we seek the comfort and guidance of the Spirit through prayer, we can receive peace. When we are ready, the Spirit can help us know who we can turn to with our feelings and experiences. As we reach out, others can help us remember and feel Heavenly Father’s love.

Sharing our feelings and experiences with others may be uncomfortable. Many of us want to connect with others, but we don’t know how they will react or how our spouses will feel.

If reaching out to others feels too difficult, we can begin by seeking the companionship of the Holy Ghost. We are promised that the Holy Ghost will comfort us and testify of Jesus Christ and His power to help us. With the Holy Ghost’s companionship and guidance, we can experience more peace and clarity.

As we seek His companionship, He will guide us (see Doctrine and Covenants 121:46). The Spirit will help us know who we can confide in, and He can help us feel safe as we do so. When we’re ready, we can express our pain and experiences with friends, Church leaders, or mental health professionals. As followers of Christ, we know we can reach out to others who have covenanted to bear one another’s burdens, mourn together, and work in unity.

Former Relief Society General President Sister Linda K. Burton advised: “We can start in prayer to our Heavenly Father and ask Him for strength for this day. … We can start there. Then maybe we can reach out and ask [for] the Holy Ghost to help inspire us. … When we’re strong enough, we can reach out to a bishop, to a trusted friend, to someone that can help us” (“Reach Out” [video]).

Capture Impressions

Take a moment and write down what you’ve felt as you’ve studied this principle.

Apply This Principle

The following are some helps on additional topics to enhance your learning and application of this principle.

This is so personal; who can I share it with?

We can find ways to share safely with others. We might feel as if we are the only ones facing this problem, which can leave us feeling isolated. However, we don’t need to face this alone. Finding safe ways to share can alleviate the pain we feel.

This feels like more than I can deal with alone. Where can I turn for help?

Get the help you need. It’s okay to get help, and we don’t need to suffer alone. In addition to relying on the Lord, seeking support from others can be helpful as we face the effects of our spouses’ pornography use. With careful consideration and help from the Spirit, we can find sources of help.

Additional Study


couple hugging

Overview for Spouses

woman praying

Principle 2: Respond to Strong Emotions

woman smiling

Principle 4: Rebuild Confidence