“Will the pain and suffering ever end?” Help for Spouses (2019)
“Will the pain and suffering ever end?” Help for Spouses
The effects of pornography in a marriage are painful. We may feel worthless, imperfect, and that we are not enough. We may feel embarrassed or ashamed about what is happening in our marriages. Above all, we may want to feel an assurance that things will get better. In this video, others who have been in this situation discuss how they replaced confusion and despair with hope and began to understand their infinite worth and divine identity.
As we build a relationship with Heavenly Father and turn to the Savior in faith, our confidence in ourselves and in God will grow.
We want ourselves and our families to be safely on the path toward perfection, but sometimes that can set us up for disappointment. In difficult situations, our identity as children of God can help us remember that we weren’t sent here to be perfect, but to be perfected through the Savior and His Atonement. As we turn to the Lord, place our burdens at His feet, and rely on His enabling power, He will succor and uplift us. We can find hope in our trials by remembering that the Lord has promised He will not leave us comfortless (see John 14:18). Our spouses may or may not choose to change; however, we can still choose to regain confidence and build hope.
Here are some ideas that others have found helpful. Prayerfully consider what actions might be best for you, taking into account that they may or may not be listed here.
Consider paying attention to your physical needs. Take note of healthy sleep patterns, nutrition, and mental health needs. Make a plan for healthy self-care.
Ponder and study the plan of salvation. It can be hard to understand why a loving God would allow this to happen. How might the plan of salvation help from this experience?
Search out God’s love and awareness of you in the words of the hymns, the scriptures, or other reliable sources.
Identify friends and family members who are good listeners. Some have found it helpful to connect with others and share day-to-day happenings. Whom might you trust and talk to?
Consider how past negative experiences might influence what you are feeling now. Others have found it helpful to discuss with friends and family, read self-help books, and seek out uplifting media and other inspired helps.