Ne u Loto Moʻoni ke Tuku
Ko e founga ʻoku ou ikunaʻi ʻaki hono maʻunimā au ʻe he ponokalafí.
Ne kamata pē ʻeku fāinga mo e ponokalafí heʻeku kei talavoú, ʻi hono fakafeʻiloaki au ʻe ha niʻihi kehe ki he nāunau mo e ngaahi ʻulungāanga taʻefeʻungá. Naʻe ʻikai hoko e ongoongoleleí ia ko ha konga lahi ʻo ʻeku moʻuí he taimi ko iá. Neongo ne maʻulotu hoku fāmilí ʻi he taimi ne u ʻi he Palaimelí aí, ka naʻe ngata ia he taimi ne u taʻu 13 pe 14 aí. Naʻe tupu mei ai ʻa e ʻikai kau ʻa e ongoongoleleí ʻi he ngaahi fili ne u faí.
Naʻe ʻikai ke u teitei fakakaukau ke tala ki heʻeku ongomātuʻá ʻa e meʻa naʻe fakahū mai kiate au ʻe he kaungāʻapí mo kinautolu ne u lau ko hoku ngaahi kaungāmeʻá. Ne u fuʻu mā ke fakahā ʻa e ngaahi meʻa kuó u mamata ai mo aʻusiá. Naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ko e hā e meʻa te u faí. ʻI he ngaahi taʻu lahi ne hoko aí, ne ʻikai pē ʻilo ha taha ki hono maʻunimā au ʻe he ponokalafí.
Ivi Tākiekina ʻo e Ongoongoleleí
Taimi siʻi pē kimuʻa peá u ʻosi mei he akoʻanga māʻolungá, ne hoko ha kiʻi mana siʻisiʻi, ko ha meʻa te ne fakatafoki ʻeku moʻuí ki ha feituʻu kehe. Neongo e vāmamaʻo ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ne u faí mo e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻo e ongoongoleleí, ne u muimui ai ki ha ueʻi mālohi ʻa e laumālié ʻi ha pongipongi Sāpate ʻe taha ke u ʻalu ki he lotú mo totongi ʻeku vahehongofulú. ʻI heʻeku aʻu atu ki falelotú, ne u ʻeke ʻa e kakai naʻá ku ʻiloʻí. Ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi hingoa ne u ʻeké ko e palesiteni ʻo e Kau Talavoú ʻi he taimi ne u tīkoni aí, ʻa e taimi fakamuimuitaha ne u maʻulotu aí. Ko ia naʻe pīsope he uōtí he taimi ko ʻení.
Ne tokoni ʻa e pīsope lelei ko iá ke fakafoki mai au ki he Siasí. Ne u vete ʻeku ngaahi angahalá, peá ne ngāue mo au ke fokotuʻu haʻaku palani fakalakalaka. ʻI he ʻosi atu ha ngaahi māhina lahi, ne u fakatomala. Ne u fakalakalaka ʻi he lakanga fakataulaʻeikí. Naʻe ʻi ai hoku fatongia. Ne u ngāue lelei, pea naʻe uiuiʻi au ke u ʻalu ʻo ngāue fakafaifekau, pea naʻe lava ke mapuleʻi hono maʻunimā aú ʻi he ngaahi taʻu lahi.
Fihia he Kupengá
ʻI heʻeku foki mei he ngāue fakafaifekaú, naʻe ʻikai ke u fekuki mo e ponokalafí; naʻe ʻikai pē ke u toe sio au ki ai. Ka naʻe liliu ʻeni ʻi he konga kimui ʻo e 1990 ʻi he kamata ke lahi ange ʻa e hūhū mai ʻa e ʻInitanetí. Ne u sio fakatuʻupakē ʻi ha ngaahi fakatātā ponokalafi ʻi he ʻInitanetí, peá u toutou foki leva ki he ngaahi saiti ʻoku ʻi ai e ponokalafí ʻi he ngaahi māhina ne hoko aí. Kuo tauheleʻi au ʻe he ʻInitanetí.
Ne u fie kole tokoni mei ha taha, ka naʻe ʻikai ke u fakapapauʻi pe ko hai—pe ko e hā e foungá. Te u talanoa fēfē ki heʻeku mātuʻá kau ki he meʻá ni? Te u fakahā fēfē ki he pīsopé naʻe ʻikai ke u lava ʻo taʻofi ʻa e ʻulungāanga ʻuli ko ʻení neongo kuó u fai ha fakalakalaka lahi? Ne u loto moʻoni ke tuku, ka ne u fuʻu mā ke fakahā ki ha taha hoku vaivaí, ko ia ne ʻikai ke u tala ki ha taha hono maʻunimā aú.
Naʻe ʻikai foki ke u tala ki hoku uaifí ʻa ia ne ma mali ʻi he 2000. Ne u fie talaange ʻeku fāinga mo e meʻá ni lolotonga ʻema teití, ka ne u ilifia naʻá ne sio lalo ai kiate au, kae kovi tahá, ka ʻikai ke ne fie mali mo au. Ko ia ne u loi ai. Pea hokohoko atu pē ʻeku loí lolotonga ʻema nofo malí. Ne u fakafufū holo pē ke ʻoua naʻá ne ʻiloʻi. Naʻá ku fufuuʻi e ʻū fakatātaá ʻi heʻeku komipiutá. ʻI hono ʻeke mai ʻe hoku uaifí ha ngaahi fehokotakiʻanga ʻi he ʻInitanetí, naʻá ku talaange naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻiloʻi e meʻa naʻe ʻuhinga ki aí. ʻOku pehē hono maʻunimā kitá; ʻoku nau ngaohi kitautolu ke tau loi. Naʻá ku ʻilo naʻá ne fakatupu ha maumau ʻi heʻema nofo malí pea fakatupu loto-mamahi kiate ia, ka naʻe ʻikai pē ke u fie fakahā naʻe ʻi ai ʻeku palopalema. Naʻe ʻikai ko hoku ʻulungāangá naʻe mahuʻinga taha kiate aú ka ko e anga ʻo e vakai mai ʻa e kakaí kiate aú.
Naʻe ngaohi au ʻe he ongo moʻui ko ʻeni ne u maʻú—pea tupu mei ai e mole ʻa e Laumālié—ʻa ʻeku tuʻu laveangofua ki he ngaahi angahala mamafa angé, kau ai ʻa e taʻeanganofó. Naʻe ongoʻi ʻe hoku uaifí naʻe ʻi ai e meʻa naʻe fehālaaki peá ne talamai kiate au. ʻI he loto-mamahi lahi, ne u fakahā ange ai kiate ia ʻa e meʻa kuó u faí.
Ko e tuʻunga māʻulalo taha ia kuó u aʻusiá, ʻa e tuʻunga ne u ʻiloʻi ai ʻoku fie maʻu ke u liliú. Naʻe tangutu pē ʻa e fefine ne u ʻofa aí ʻo hanga mai kiate au. Naʻá ne ʻofa ʻiate au. Kuó u lavakiʻi ia. Ne u fakapapauʻi leva he taimi ko iá ke u fai ha faʻahinga meʻa pē ke fakahaofi ʻema fetuʻutakí pea mo homa fāmilí.
Fakaakeaké
Naʻe kamata ke u talanoa maʻu pē mo ʻeku pīsopé ʻo ma ngāue ki he founga ke u fakatomala aí mo e fakatonutonu faka-Siasí. Naʻá ne fokotuʻu mai ke u kau ki he ngaahi fakataha ʻa e polokalama fakaakeake mei he maʻunimaá, ʻa ia naʻe fakafou ʻi he Ngaahi Tokoni ʻa e Siasí ki he Fāmilí. Ne teʻeki ai ke u fanongo he polokalamá. Ne talamai naʻe fakahoko ʻe he kulupú ha fakataha taʻetotongi ʻoku ʻikai toe fakahāhāholo ʻo makatuʻunga ʻi he sitepu ʻe 12 ʻo e Alcoholics Anonymous, ʻa ia naʻe fulifulihi ke feʻunga mo e ngaahi tokāteline pea mo e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e Siasí.
Lolotonga e ngaahi ʻuluaki fakatahá, ne u fakakaukau ʻo pehē, “ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ia ke u ʻi heni. ʻOku ʻikai haʻaku fuʻu palopalema ʻaʻaku mo e ponokalafí. Te u lava pē ʻe au ʻo tuku ʻi ha faʻahinga taimi pē.” Naʻe ʻikai foki ke moʻoni ʻeni.
Naʻe fakalotolahiʻi au ʻe heʻeku pīsopé peá u kei hokohoko ʻalu pē ki ai. Naʻe kamata ke mole atu ʻa ʻeku loto hīkisiá, pea kamata ke u fakaʻaongaʻi e ngaahi sitepu he polokalamá: ʻa e faitotonú, ʻamanaki leleí, falala ki he ʻOtuá, moʻoní, vete hiá, liliu ʻo e lotó, loto fakatōkilaló, feinga ke maʻu e fakamolemolé, totongi huhuʻí mo e fakaleleí, ʻekeʻi fakaʻaho meiate kita ʻete ngaahi ngāué, maʻu fakahā fakatāutahá, mo e ngāue tokoní. Ko e fuofua taimi ʻeni ʻi ha taimi lōloa kuó u moʻui “ʻataʻatā” ai, mo moʻui tauʻatāina mei he ponokalafí. ʻOku teʻeki ai “ʻosi” lelei ʻa e fakaakeaké ia, ka kuó u kamata ʻi ha tuʻunga tauʻatāina foʻou. Naʻe hoko ʻeni tupu mei heʻeku kau ʻi he sitepu ʻe 12, ʻo mahino ai kiate au ʻa e meʻa naʻá ne fakatupu hono maʻunimā aú.
Ne u ʻiloʻi naʻe fekumi ʻa e kakai tokolahi naʻe maʻunimā ʻe ha faʻahinga meʻa ke maʻu ha faʻahinga “faitoʻo ʻiate kinautolu pē” ke fakaleleiʻi ʻaki e ngaahi tafaʻaki ʻoku nau ongoʻi ʻoku feāvaaki ʻi heʻenau moʻuí. ʻOku faʻa hanga ʻe he mamahí, loto mamahí, ongoʻi tuēnoá, manavaheé, pe ngaahi meʻa taʻefakafiemālié ʻo fakatupu hano fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he kakaí ʻa e faʻahinga faitoʻo ko ʻení ke nau ongoʻi fiefia ange ai. ʻOku fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he niʻihi ʻa e ngaahi faitoʻo mei he toketaá. Fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he niʻihi ʻa e ngaahi faitoʻo kona tapu taʻefakalaó. Fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he niʻihi ʻa e kava mālohí. Kiate au, naʻe ʻomi ʻe he ponokalafí ʻa e “faitoʻo vave” taimi nounou ko ia ne u pehē naʻá ku fie maʻú.
Ko e meʻa ʻe taha ko ʻeku ʻiloʻi ko ia e meʻa naʻá ne fakatupu hoku maʻunimaá. Ko e meʻa kehe ʻa ʻeku fakaʻehiʻehi mei he ngaahi ʻātakai naʻe tokoni ki hoku maʻunimaá. Naʻe fie maʻu ke u vakavakaiʻi fakalelei ʻeni ʻi he houa ʻe 24 he ʻaho, ʻaho ʻe fitu he uike, ʻi he toenga ʻo ʻeku moʻuí. ʻOku ʻikai lava ke u hū pē ki he ʻInitanetí “ʻo sio takai holo ai.” Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku ʻikai pē ke u hū ki he ʻInitanetí ʻi he taimi ʻoku ou toko taha aí. ʻOku ʻikai lava ke u sio ki ha tuʻuaki koloa mo fakakaukau ki ai. ʻOku ʻikai haʻamau TV keipolo ʻi homau ʻapí. ʻI heʻeku ʻalu ki he ngāué, ʻoku ou fakaʻehiʻehi mei he ngaahi hala pau he ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻi ai e ngaahi papa tuʻuaki ai te ne lava ʻo fakatupu ha ngaahi fakakaukau taʻefeʻunga. Ko ʻene ngalo pē pea kamata ke hē holo ʻeku fakakaukaú, ʻoku ou kole tokoni ki hoku uafí, ki heʻeku pīsopé, mo lotu ke u maʻu ha mālohi.
Naʻe hanga ʻe hono maʻunimā aú ʻo uesia ʻa e ngaahi konga iiki taha ʻo ʻeku moʻuí, ka ʻoku mahuʻinga ke u tokanga ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ko ʻení. He ʻikai lava ke u taʻetokanga ki he ngaahi maluʻi ko ʻení he ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi e meʻa ʻe lava ke fai ʻe hoku maʻunimaá kiate au mo kinautolu ʻoku ou ʻofa aí.
Fakafalala ki he ʻOtuá
ʻOku ʻikai foki ko ʻeku fakaʻehiʻehi pē mei he meʻa ʻoku koví. Ka kuo pau ke u feinga maʻu pē ki he meʻa ʻoku leleí. Kuo tokoniʻi au ʻe ha ngaahi sitepu mei he sitepu ʻe 12 ke fakahoko ʻeni ʻaki hono ʻomai au ke u toe ofi ange ki he ʻOtuá.
ʻOku ou tūʻulutui ʻi heʻeku ʻā hake he ʻaho kotoa pē, ʻo fakamālō ki he Tamai Hēvaní ʻi heʻene tuku mai hoku faingamālie ke u fakatomala ai mei heʻeku ngaahi angahalá pea haʻu kiate Ia ʻi he Fakalelei ʻa Hono ʻAlo ko Sīsū Kalaisí. ʻOku ou kole kiate Ia ke fakahā mai Hono finangaló ke u fai ia. ʻOku ou kole kiate Ia ke ʻave au ke u mamaʻo mei he ʻahiʻahí. ʻOku ou lotu ʻo hangē ʻoku ou fakafalala ki he Tamai Hēvaní ʻi he miniti kotoa pē ʻo e ʻahó—he ʻoku ou fakafalala kiate Ia—pea ʻoku ou manatuʻi ʻa e lotu ko iá ʻi hoku lotó he ʻahó kotoa. ʻOku ou toe lotu pē ʻi he pō takitaha. ʻOku ou fakamoleki foki mo ha taimi ke lau fakaʻaho ai ʻa e folofolá koeʻuhí ke u lava ʻo tuku taha ʻeku fakakaukaú ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku maʻá. Kapau he ʻikai ke u ʻulungāanga ʻaki ʻeni, he ʻikai nofoʻia ʻeku moʻuí ʻe he Laumālié. Pea kaú ka nofo toko taha, ʻoku ʻikai te u mālohi feʻunga ke tekeʻi e ʻahiʻahí.
Ne fuoloa ʻeku tui ʻe lava ke u ikunaʻi hoku ʻulungāangá ʻi ha faʻahinga taimi pē ʻoku ou loto ki ai ʻaki hoku mālohi pē ʻoʻokú. Ka naʻe ʻikai ʻaupito lava ʻeni. Ne ʻosi atu ha taimi mo ʻeku fiu ʻi hono fakahoko ia ʻiate au pē, kae tautautefito ki he ʻikai ke ʻaonga “ʻeku fakahoko ia ʻiate au peé.” Ne u ʻiloʻi naʻe ʻikai ke u lava ʻo fai ʻa ia ne u fie maʻu ke faí taʻe kau ai e tokoni ʻa e ʻEikí. Naʻe tokoni mai ʻa e ʻEta 12:27 ke mahino lelei ange ʻeni kiate au. Naʻe fakahā ʻe he ʻEikí kia Molonai, “ʻOku feʻunga ʻa ʻeku ʻofá ki he tangata kotoa pē ʻoku nau fakavaivaiʻi ʻa kinautolu ʻi hoku ʻaó; he kapau te nau fakavaivaiʻi ʻa kinautolu ʻi hoku ʻaó, pea tui kiate au, te u liliu ʻa e ngaahi meʻa vaivaí ko e mālohi kiate kinautolu.”
Ne tuʻo taha ʻeku kole kiate Ia, ʻo kei fai ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē ne u ala faí (vakai, 2 Nīfai 25:23), peá u ʻiloʻi naʻe lava ke u fai ia ʻo toe lelei ange mo fakahoko ha meʻa lahi ange ʻi Heʻene tokoní ʻi haʻaku fakafalala ki he ngaahi meʻa pē ʻoku ou lavá (vakai, ʻAlamā 7:14).
ʻOkú ma ngāue mo hoku uaifí ke fakafaingofuaʻi e ngaahi fakatahaʻanga ʻa e polokalama fakaakeake mei he maʻunimaá. Kuó ne ʻiloʻi—pea ʻokú ne tokoniʻi e niʻihi kehé ke mahino kiate kinautolu—ʻoku ʻikai ko e Fakaleleí maʻanautolu pē ʻoku ngāue ke ikunaʻi hono maʻunimā kinautolú ka maʻanautolu foki kuo uesia ʻe he maʻunimaá neongo naʻe ʻikai ke nau loto ki ai. Kapau te tau tafoki ki he Fakamoʻuí, ʻe ʻaonga ʻa ʻEne ʻaloʻofá ki heʻetau moʻuí kātoa.
ʻOku lava ke u fakamoʻoni atu kiate kinautolu ʻoku fāinga mo e maʻunimaá pea ki he kakai ʻoku nau ʻofa aí, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e ʻamanaki lelei. ʻOku ʻi ai maʻu pē ʻa e ʻamanaki lelei ʻi he ongoongolelei ʻo Sīsū Kalaisí.
Ko e ʻAmanaki Lelei ʻi he Fakamoʻuí
ʻOku ou fakamālō lahi kia Sīsū Kalaisi ʻi Heʻene fakahaofi au mei he ngaahi sēini ʻo e faiangahalá. ʻOku hangē ʻa e maʻunimaá ko ha ngaahi sēini ʻoku “haʻi ʻaki ʻa e fānau ʻa e tangatá, ke ʻave pōpula hifo ʻa kinautolu ki he vanu taʻengata ʻo e mamahí mo e malaʻiá” (2 Nīfai 1:13). ʻI heʻeku ʻiloʻi e faingataʻa ne u tofanga aí, naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe te u kole tokoní mei fē. Naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ko e hā te u faí he naʻe ʻikai ke u lava ʻo fakatauʻatāinaʻi au mei he meʻa ne u ʻilo ʻe hokó. Ka naʻe lava ʻe he ʻEikí ʻo fakatauʻatāinaʻi au. Naʻá Ne tokoni ʻi heʻeku kole tokoni kiate Iá.
Te u lava ʻo lea fakataha mo ʻĀmoni: “ʻIo, ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ko e meʻa noa pē au; pea ko e meʻa ki hoku mālohí ʻoku ou vaivai; ko ia ʻe ʻikai te u pōlepole ʻiate au, ka te u pōlepole pē ʻi hoku ʻOtuá, he te u lava ke fai ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē ʻi hono māfimafí” (ʻAlamā 26:12). ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi ʻe lava ʻe he ʻOtuá ʻo tokoniʻi kitautolu ke tau fai e meʻa kotoa pē, kau ai ʻa hono ikunaʻi ʻo e ngaahi sēini ʻo e maʻunimaá.