Accepting His Will

    “Accepting His Will,” Ensign, Mar. 1994, 55

    Accepting His Will

    While I was growing up, I witnessed several healings that I felt were miraculous, including a few of which I was the recipient. So when my husband, our sons, and I found our two-year-old daughter, Jamie, floating face down in our swimming pool, I just knew she could be healed. As I began performing CPR, I had no doubt that the Lord would help me bring her back to life. The emergency team was surprised to find Jamie’s heart already beating when they arrived, but I wasn’t.

    Within hours of the accident, our family and friends were fasting and praying with us for Jamie’s recovery. We placed her name on the temple prayer roll. The love and support we received was overwhelming. Everyone felt that Jamie would be all right.

    The doctors voiced three major concerns for our daughter: her heart was beating too weakly, her brain could swell, causing brain damage, and her waterlogged lungs were vulnerable to pneumonia. As we continued to fast and pray, these problems disappeared one by one. Never before had my husband and I exerted so much faith. We felt peaceful, and we felt that our daughter would be all right.

    On the ninth day, however, the oxygen level in Jamie’s blood began to drop. The doctors switched her to a new ventilator. While I was resting nearby, I heard someone say, “It didn’t work.” Thinking the speaker was one of my family members, I murmured, “Don’t say that. We have to have faith.” But when I sat up, I heard the doctor talking in the hallway, telling my husband that the new ventilator was making Jamie’s oxygen level drop even lower.

    Had we done something wrong? Didn’t we have enough faith? I pleaded with Heavenly Father to know why Jamie’s condition was getting worse when we had felt that she would be okay.

    As I continued to pray I felt as if someone were next to me with their arm around my shoulder. I felt I was told that my faith had been great enough. Now it was my responsibility to know that whatever happened would be right. The calm, peaceful feeling I had experienced previously returned.

    I looked down at Jamie and through the Spirit knew that her time on the earth was almost over. My feelings that she would be all right were still true, however, because it was Heavenly Father’s will that she return. My husband gave Jamie a father’s blessing, and soon afterwards she died.

    I learned that the Lord does indeed answer our prayers. The answer that He gives us is what is best for us.

    Doctrine and Covenants 42:44 [D&C 42:44] says: “And the elders of the church, two or more, shall be called, and shall pray for and lay their hands upon them in my name; and if they die they shall die unto me.” We miss Jamie, but we have been blessed to know that our daughter is with Heavenly Father.