From YA Weekly
Creating Brotherhood and Cultivating Meaningful Connections in Elders Quorum
Being proactive in elders quorum can help you have the uplifting experiences you are seeking.
Do you ever sit in elders quorum and feel … disconnected?
This might not be the case for everyone, but if you’re struggling to find connection in your quorum, it can make church feel pretty lonely.
What can you do when the experience isn’t what you hoped for? Here are three pieces of advice to help you foster a sense of brotherhood in elders quorum.
1. Cultivate Relationships Beyond Sundays
If you find yourself scrolling on your phone and avoiding eye contact in elders quorum, try something different. What if, instead, you used the time before and after lessons to get to know those around you? You could even take it a step further and invite people to meet up outside of church.
If you make your own unique opportunities to meet with other brothers outside of church, you’ll start making more friends, and others will follow your example!
“We must stop looking for reasons to divide and instead seek opportunities to ‘be one’ [Doctrine and Covenants 38:27],” taught Elder David L. Buckner of the Seventy. “To divide and conquer is the adversary’s plan to destroy friendships, families, and faith. It is the Savior who unites.”
Get to know each other and spend time with people outside of church by participating in shared hobbies, creating a group game night once a month, or attending the temple together. These things will help your quorum become one.
2. Minister to Everyone—Especially Those You’re Assigned To
If you don’t know where to start, consider ministering. Ministering gives us the perfect opportunity to reach out and develop relationships in elders quorum. And we don’t have to limit ourselves by thinking we have to minister in a certain way, in a certain time frame, or only to certain people.
Elder Juan Pablo Villar of the Seventy taught: “We have brothers and sisters left wounded on the side of the road of life. They can be anyone—friends, family, neighbors, community members, and even those sitting in the chapel with us on Sunday. … Most we see will not have visible wounds. Many suffer silently and do not ask for help. The only way to be sure in our approach is to meet others with the love and compassion that the Samaritan showed. Christlike ministering means giving compassion to all.”
Ministering is a divinely appointed method for supporting each other spiritually and temporally. Everyone needs to be ministered to, and love and compassion is the way to start.
3. Make Your Time Together on Sundays Meaningful
Meeting together is powerful. As the Lord has said, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, make your quorum interactions meaningful by sharing experiences, supporting others, and engaging in discussions to build faith in Jesus Christ.
One idea is to begin elders quorum meetings by setting aside time and allowing members to share about their weeks and what they’re going through. Interacting like this can help your quorum find brotherly support in their challenges with things like pornography use and mental health struggles, which improve with openness, connection, and honesty. You also might be inspired by each other’s faith when you share about how you’ve seen the Savior’s hand in your life since you last met together.
You can also make the conscious effort to be engaged in the lesson and make comments. Share your experiences and listen to others as they share theirs. Invite someone you don’t know very well to sit with you. Maybe you could even encourage your teacher to break the quorum into smaller groups to have deeper discussions. Volunteer to help plan special activities with the elders quorum outside of Sunday meetings that allow you to create a sense of unity.
Remember that you can always counsel with your elders quorum presidency about cultivating meaningful spiritual experiences together during class. But above all, follow the Savior’s example. He made friends with zealots and fishermen, ministered to centurions and lepers, and unified all His disciples despite their differences.
With righteous desire and help from Heavenly Father, you can help your elders quorum become what the Savior intended it to be.