Digital Only: Young Adults
Choosing to Trust God Again after Experiencing Challenges on My Mission
The author lives in Spain.
My mission didn’t go how I had always envisioned, and that left me feeling confused and alone—until I learned to put my trust in God.
When I started my mission, I had high expectations. I would serve faithfully, baptize many people, and return home with confidence and inspiring stories to tell. I would make my family proud.
However, throughout my training, I was unexpectedly filled with anxiety. I loved the gospel—I didn’t understand why it was so difficult for me to share it. Struggling to feel confident while teaching made me start to doubt myself and my faith.
As time went on, I grew depressed (COVID-19 also didn’t help). My mission president wasn’t very familiar with mental health struggles, and we didn’t always connect very well during our conversations. I began seeing a counselor, which helped a lot, but my struggles with the gospel didn’t go away. I was afraid to talk to my mission president again about my feelings because I was afraid he would send me home, and I wanted to finish my mission.
I wrongly believed that people shouldn’t struggle on a mission or when they are trying to do what’s right, so my situation confused me. Wasn’t I supposed to be experiencing joy as I was doing the Lord’s work?
Faith amid Hardship
After finishing my mission, I struggled to find answers and support about my complicated feelings. I didn’t have contact with my companions or mission president, and I felt a lot of shame about my feelings. I was afraid to share them because no one else seemed to have struggled on their missions—or at least they weren’t talking about it.
One day at church, my Sunday School teacher spoke about how her son, who had faithfully lived the gospel and served a mission, was continually facing challenges in his life and felt like it was unfair. She described the same situation I was in!
She testified that having the knowledge of the gospel doesn’t protect us from difficulties and challenges, but having faith and keeping our covenants can help us receive strength from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the comfort of the Holy Ghost.
Life is about choosing to trust Heavenly Father in those moments and finding peace, growth, and greater faith amid the hardship and the unfairness.
President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency, once taught:“I wish to encourage those who are in the midst of hard trials, who feel their faith may be fading under the onslaught of troubles. Trouble itself can be your way to strengthen and finally gain unshakable faith.”
I realized that missions, and anything the Lord asks us to do, aren’t always easy. And all along, the trials I thought were weakening my faith were the experiences that could strengthen it. I needed to change my perspective. Through my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, I could allow the hardships I faced on my mission and after to increase my faith.
Trusting Again
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recently taught: “Faith endures the trials and the uncertainties of life because it is firmly rooted in Christ and His doctrine. Jesus Christ, and our Father in Heaven who sent Him, together constitute the one undeviating, perfectly reliable object of our trust.”
When life turns out differently than expected, instead of believing that Heavenly Father has abandoned us or that the gospel isn’t true, we can choose to trust Him.
I’ve also learned how important it is to talk to trusted people and not suffer in silence. Not everyone will understand our experiences completely, but meaningful connection with others is so important to our mental and spiritual well-being.
Our Heavenly Father loves us perfectly, and we have a Savior who understands us. They want us to remember that we can trust Them—always.