Whose Will Was I Following?
June 2017

“Whose Will Was I Following?” New Era, June 2017

Whose Will Was I Following?

The author is currently serving in the New York Utica Mission.

Kyle is one of the youth who worked on the 2017 Mutual Theme album. His song, “Thy Will Be Done,” is about submitting to promptings from the Lord.

missionary icon

Illustrations by Getty Images

When it was time to come up with some ideas for a song for the 2017 Mutual Theme album, I immediately knew what I wanted to write about: I basically gave up seeing my best friend so that I could focus on my mission. I wanted to write about how even though those were some sad, dark days, I knew it was what I was supposed to be doing.

It’s a long story. Right before my senior year of high school, I made a firm decision to follow the standards on dating in For the Strength of Youth and not have a steady girlfriend before my mission. I made this decision because earlier in high school I’d had a girlfriend. The relationship started taking up a lot of time, and even though I got the spiritual prompting, “You shouldn’t be steady dating right now,” I ignored it. Eventually she moved away. After it was over, I realized that the prompting really was from the Lord.

So I decided that in my senior year I wouldn’t have another girlfriend. And it made for a really fun year because I made a lot of friends. One girl, though, I started to hang out with a lot. I could tell she liked me, and I started to like her back. But because I had made my decision, I knew what was right. I had to tell her that I didn’t want to date. She understood, and we actually became good friends.

When we graduated from high school, I had to make another decision: should I leave for my mission now, or should I go to a year of college first? It was a huge question for me. I had already been accepted to BYU, and I didn’t know which timing would be better for me. After a lot of prayer, I felt like I should go to school first.

It was hard not going on my mission at the same time all my friends were. No one judged me too harshly, even though people definitely commented on the fact that I was “still here.” But I know that waiting was the right decision for me and that I was inspired to do it.

I saw a lot of blessings in my life because I felt so much more prepared to go on a mission after a year of college. For instance, I wasn’t afraid of the long study schedule in the missionary training center because in college, I was studying all day anyway. It was a great experience having faith in God and in the promptings I got that it was the right thing to do, and then seeing the fruits of it.

I still had another decision to make. My first year of college was hard because pretty much all of my high school friends had already left on their missions. But the girl I’d known my senior year actually came to BYU too, and she and I became even closer. We started hanging out all the time. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I could tell—we were slowing becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

Part of the way through the semester, I started getting a prompting, “You’ve got to stop hanging out so much with this friend.” I knew a mission was on the horizon, and I could tell that because we were hanging out all the time, I wasn’t focusing on preparing for my mission. Actually, this was making it harder for me to go.

It was a really hard prompting to get, because she was my best friend—and one of my only friends. I prayed constantly to know if it was the Lord’s will, even telling Heavenly Father, “This is going to be really hard for me.”

One day I went to the temple and asked Him, and I just felt that that was what I needed to do. So I decided I needed to follow the Lord’s will. I finally talked with her about it, and she understood that I needed to focus on my mission. Still, it was a really difficult, emotional experience.

Over the next few days, I felt so much strength and peace from Heavenly Father. I was able to focus on my mission a lot more and started feeling myself progress spiritually much faster than I had before. Scriptures started standing out to me during my personal scripture study—like Isaiah 3:10, which says that the righteous will “eat the fruit of their doings,” which means that if you do the right things, you will reap the rewards. Once again, my testimony of following the Lord’s will was strengthened.

The Lord often asks us to make hard decisions. It’s definitely easier to say “Thy will be done” when a lot of good things are happening; when hard things are happening, it gets a lot more challenging. When I was going through all of these experiences, I just had to say, “Lord, please give me strength and help me through this.” And I know that He gave me the strength I needed. Everything He did was so that I would be ready for my mission where I could serve Him. I am so glad that I did what He asked.