Ngaahi Maʻuʻanga Tokoni ʻa e Fāmilí
Fakataha Fika Nimá: Ko Hono Fakaleleiʻi e Fepakipakí


Fakataha Fika Nimá

Ko Hono Fakaleleiʻi e Fepakipakí

Ngaahi Taumuʻa ʻo e Fakatahá

Tokoniʻi e faʻahinga ʻoku kau he kalasí lolotonga e fakataha ko ʻení:

  • Ke mahino ko e meʻa angamaheni pē ʻa e ngaahi faikehekehe ʻi he nofo-malí pea ʻoku lava ʻe hono fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fai ai e fepakipakí ʻo fakamālohia ʻa e ngaahi vā fetuʻutakí mo langaki hake e tuí, loto toʻá, mo e ʻulungāangá.

  • Ke nau ʻilo e founga ke fakaʻaongaʻi ai ha sīpinga konga-tolu ki hono fakaleleiʻi e fepakipakí.

  • Ke mahino kiate kinautolu e ngaahi tuʻutuʻuni ki hono aleaʻi e ngaahi palopalemá koeʻuhí ke lava ʻo fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi faikehekehé.

Ko Hono Kumi ha Ngaahi Founga ke Fakaleleiʻi ʻAki e Ngaahi Faikehekehe ʻo e Fakakaukaú

Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Siō J. Kulisiteniseni ʻo e Kau Fitungofulú: “Kuo pau pē ke kehekehe ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau ʻa ha ongomeʻa mali ʻatamai poto. Ko ʻetau tukupaá ke fakapapauʻi ʻoku ʻiloʻi ʻa e founga ke tau fakaleleiʻi ai iá. Ko e konga ia ʻo e ngāue ki hono ngaohi ke lelei ange ʻetau nofo-malí.”1

Naʻe fakamatala ʻa ʻEletā Lōpeti E. Uelesi ʻo e Kau Fitungofulú ʻo pehē, koeʻuhí ʻoku kehekehe ʻa e ngaahi puipuituʻa mo e ngaahi aʻusia ʻa e husepānití mo e uaifí, kuo pau pē ke ʻi ai hona ngaahi faikehekehe: “Ka ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻa e faikehekehé ʻoku tonu ʻa e tokotaha kae hala ʻa e tokotaha–pe ʻoku sai ange ʻa e founga ʻe tahá ʻi he tahá. … Neongo ʻe ʻi ai ha ngaahi faikehekehe ʻi he fakakaukaú, ʻulungāangá, pe puipuituʻá, ka ʻe lava e husepānití mo e uaifí ʻo ‘taha [hona] lotó ʻi he uouangataha mo e feʻofoʻofani’ (Mōsaia 18:21).”2

ʻOku lava ke ʻaonga ʻa e ngaahi faikehekehe ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e ongomeʻa malí ʻi he taimi ʻokú na feʻofaʻaki mo fengāueʻaki fakataha aí; ʻoku potupotutatau e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na manako ai mo malavá, pea ʻoku lahi ange ʻena lavameʻá ʻi heʻena ngāue fakatahá.

Meʻapango, ʻoku tokolahi ha ngaahi hoa-mali ʻoku ʻikai ke nau lava ʻo fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi faikehekehé ʻaki ha founga lelei. Naʻe fakamatalaʻi ʻe Tēpola Taneni, ko ha tokotaha ako mo faʻu tohi, ʻa e sivilaise faka-Uēsité ko ha “angafakafonua ʻo e fakakikihi” ʻa ia ʻoku poupouʻi ai ʻa e tangataʻi fonuá ke ne vakaiʻi e niʻihi kehé mei ha [“faʻunga fakakaukau ʻa e filí.”]3 Ko hono olá ko e anga manuki, lāunga fakalao, pea fonu e fakamaauʻangá he kakai ʻoku nau fekumi ki hano fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau fepakipaki aí.

ʻOku lava ke fakautuutu ʻa e ngaahi faikehekehe ʻoku tuku taʻe fakaleleiʻí ʻo hoko ai ha fepakipaki lahi, hangē ko hono fakamoʻoniʻi ʻe he sitetisitika fakafonua ʻo e vete malí, ʻa ia ʻokú ne fakahaaʻi ai meimei ko e vaeua ʻo e ngaahi mali ʻi ʻAmeliká ʻoku iku ki he vete. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai iku ki he veté ʻa e ngaahi nofo-mali fonu ʻi he ngaahi fepakipaki ʻoku ʻikai lava hano fakaleleiʻí, ʻoku nau iku leva ki he ngaahi palopalema lahi kehe, kau ai ʻa e loto-mamahí, taʻefiemālié, lotomoʻuá, mo e māvaé.

ʻOku ʻi ai e ngaahi nunuʻa ʻo e vete malí mo e fepakipakí ʻa ia ʻokú ne faʻa uesia ʻa e fānaú ʻi he kotoa ʻo ʻenau moʻuí. Naʻe lipooti ʻe Linitā Uaite ʻo e ʻUnivēsiti ʻo Sikākoú mo hono kaungā faʻu tohi ko Meki Kalahaá: “Ko e fānau ʻoku ohi hake ʻi he ngaahi ʻapi ʻoku ʻi ai e mātuʻa pē ʻe tahá, ko hono fakaʻavalisí, ʻoku nau masiva ange, palopalemaʻia fakaemoʻui lelei pea maumau fakaeʻatamai, fakahoko e ngaahi hia mo fakaʻaliʻali ha ngaahi palopalema fakaeʻulungāanga kehe, ʻi ai e ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki kovi ange ʻi he fāmilí mo e toʻú, pea siʻisiʻi ange e ngaahi taʻu te nau ako aí ʻi heʻenau hoko ʻo lalahí, taʻe pau ange ʻenau nofo-malí nounou pea māʻulalo ange ʻenau tuʻunga ngāué ʻi he fānau naʻe mali ʻenau mātuʻá pea kei nofo mali peé.”4

Ko e Ola Lelei ʻo Hono Fakaleleiʻi ʻo e Fepakipakí

ʻOku kau ʻi he ola lelei ʻo hono fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí ʻa e fakaʻehiʻehi mei he siokitá, feinga ke potupotutatau, pea tukutaha e tokangá ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku faitatau aí kae ʻikai ko e ngaahi faikehekehé. ʻOku fie maʻu foki ki hono fakaleleiʻí ʻa e ngaahi taukei ʻo e fetuʻutaki ʻoku leleí, fengāueʻaki leleí, pea mo ha holi ke fekumi ke maʻu ha ngaahi founga fakaleleiʻi ʻoku fakatou tali ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ki he ngaahi palopalemá. Neongo ʻoku fakamamahi he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻa e fakaleleiʻi ʻo ha fepakipaki, ka ko e konga lelei ia ʻo e moʻuí te ne langaki hake ʻa e tuí, loto-toʻá, ʻulungāangá, mo e māʻoniʻoni fakatāutahá.

Naʻe pehē ʻe ʻEletā Loleni C. Tani ʻo e Kau Fitungofulú: “ʻOku ʻi ai ha fie maʻu meiate kitautolu, mahalo ʻoku lahi ange ia ʻi ha toe taimi kimuʻa, ke tau fetokoniʻaki ʻiate kitautolu mo fakaʻatā ʻa e tuʻunga lelei ʻo e fefakaʻapaʻapaʻakí, fakataha mo e anga faka-Kalaisí mo e fefakamolemoleʻakí, ke ne tākiekina ʻetau ngaahi fengāueʻakí; ke tau lava pē ʻo taʻe loto ki ha meʻa kae ʻikai ke tau tala-kehe; ke holoki hotau leʻó pea langa hake ʻi he meʻa ʻoku tau faitatau aí ʻaki hono fakatokangaʻi ko e taimi kuo tolona atu ai e loá, te tau kei nofo fakataha pē.”5

ʻOku akoʻi kitautolu ʻe he ongoongoleleí ke tau fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fakakikihí. Naʻe fekau ʻe he ʻEikí, “Ke mou taha pē; pea kapau ʻoku ʻikai te mou taha, ʻoku ʻikai ʻaʻaku ʻa kimoutolu” (T&F 38:27). Naʻá Ne akoʻi ʻa e kau Nīfaí ko e tēvoló ʻa e tupuʻanga ʻo e fakakikihí: “ ʻOua naʻa ʻi ai ha fakakikihi ʻiate kimoutolu. … He ko ia ia ʻokú ne maʻu ʻa e laumālie ʻo e fakakikihí ʻoku ʻikai ʻaʻaku ia, ka ʻoku ʻo e tēvoló ia, ʻa ia ko e tamai ʻa e fakakikihí, pea ʻokú ne ueʻi hake ʻa e loto ʻo e kakaí ke fefakakikihiʻaki ʻi he ʻita, ʻiate kinautolu” (3 Nīfai 11:28–29).

Kuo pau ke fakaʻehiʻehi e ongomeʻa malí mei he holi ke fakakikihí kae lava ke na uouangataha; kuo pau ke na ako ke fakaleleiʻi ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na fepakipaki aí ʻi ha founga fakakaumeʻa. ʻOku fakaleleiʻi ha ngaahi fepakipaki ʻe niʻihi ʻi he taimi ʻoku fili ai ha tokotaha ke ʻoua te ne fakalanga keé, pe ko e taimi ʻoku kole fakamolemole ai ha tahá mo liliu ha ʻulungāanga ʻoku fie maʻu ke liliú. ʻOku faʻa fakaʻaiʻai ʻe he liliu ko ʻení ʻa e tokotaha ko eé ke fie liliu foki mo ia. ʻOku lava ke fakaleleiʻi ha ngaahi fepakipaki lahi ʻi he taimi ʻoku tukutaha lahi ange ai e tokanga ʻa e ongomeʻa malí ke na femahinoʻakí kae ʻikai ko e feinga ke na tauʻaki liliú.

Ngaahi Fakahinohino Fakafolofolá

ʻOku ʻomi ʻe he ngaahi folofolá ha ngaahi fakahinohino ki hono taʻofi mo hono fakaleleiʻi e fepakipakí. Naʻe fakatokanga ʻa e Tuʻi ko Penisimaní ki hono kakaí ke nau fakaʻehiʻehi mei he fakakikihí: “Kae, ʻOiauē ʻe hoku kakai, tokanga telia naʻa tupu ha ngaahi fakakikihi ʻiate kimoutolu” (Mōsaia 2:32). Naʻe fakamahinoʻi ʻe ʻAlamā ʻa e ʻofá ko ha ʻulungāanga lelei ia te ne lava ʻo taʻofi ʻa e fakakikihí. Naʻá ne akoʻi ke “ʻofa ʻa e tangata takitaha ki hono kaungāʻapí ʻo hangē pē ko iá, pea ke ʻoua naʻa ʻi ai ha fakakikihi ʻiate kinautolu” (Mōsaia 23:15). Naʻe fekau ʻe he ʻEikí ki Hono kau muimuí ke “tuku ʻa e fefakakikihiʻakí” (T&F 136:23) mo kole ange ke nau “taha pē” ʻo hangē ko ʻEne taha mo e Tamaí(Sione17:11).

ʻOku ʻomi foki ʻe he ului ki he ongoongoleleí ʻa e melinó mo e loto-tahá. ʻI he muimui ki he ngāue fakafaifekau ʻa e Fakamoʻuí ki he kau Nīfaí mo e kau Leimaná, “kuo fakaului ʻa e kakai kotoa pē ki he ʻEikí … pea naʻe ʻikai ha ngaahi fekeʻikeʻi pe ngaahi fakakikihi ʻiate kinautolu … koeʻuhi ko e ʻofa ʻa e ʻOtuá ʻa ia naʻe ʻi he loto ʻo e kakaí. Pea naʻe ʻikai ha ngaahi femehekaʻaki, pe ngaahi fetēleni, pe ngaahi maveuveu, … pea ko e moʻoni ʻoku ʻikai lava ke ʻi ai ha kakai ʻoku lahi hake ʻenau fiefiá ʻi he kakai kotoa pē kuo fakatupu ʻe he toʻukupu ʻo e ʻOtuá” (4 Nīfai 1:2, 15–16).

Ko e husepāniti mo e uaifi ʻokú na ului moʻoní–ʻa ia ʻokú na fāifeinga ke na feʻofaʻaki mo fetokoniʻaki ke na lelei aí– te na fiefia ange ʻi hono fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi faikehekehe ʻoku hoko ʻi heʻena moʻuí.

Ko Ha Sīpinga ki Hono Fakaleleiʻi e Fepakipakí

ʻE lava ke tokoni ki he ngaahi hoa-malí ʻa e sīpinga ko ʻeni ʻo e fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí naʻe toʻo mei he ngāue ʻa e tokotaha saienisi ʻo e ʻatamaí ko Sūsana Hitilā, ke fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi fepakipakí ʻi ha founga anga fakakaumeʻa mo ʻaonga.6 ʻE tokoni ia kiate kinaua ke ʻiloʻi e ngaahi founga ʻe fakafiemālie fakatouʻosi ki he husepānití mo e uaifí.

ʻOku maʻu ʻe he sīpinga konga-tolu ko ʻení ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungāangá ni:

  • ʻOku fakatefito ia ʻi he fetuʻutakí mo hono vahevahe ʻo e ngaahi fakakaukaú, ʻa ia ko ha kī ia ki hono fakaleleiʻi ʻo e ngaahi palopalemá.

  • Ko e ngāue fakataha kae ʻikai ko e feʻauʻauhi, tali kehe, fakakounaʻi, pe fakafili.

  • ʻOkú ne fakahaaʻi e ngaahi hohaʻa kotoa pē pea iku ki ha ola ʻoku tali ʻe he tokotaha kotoa pē.

Konga ʻUluakí–Fakahaaʻi e Ngaahi Fakakaukaú

ʻI he konga ko ʻení, ʻoku fakahaaʻi kakato ʻe he husepānití mo e uaifí ʻena ngaahi fakakaukau kau ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na fepakipaki aí. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻe ala pehē ʻe Sione, “ʻOku ou fie tokangaʻi ʻe au ʻeta meʻa fakapaʻangá–fakapatiseti e paʻangá, totongi e ngaahi moʻuá, fakapalanisi e tohi pangikeé.” ʻE ala pehē mai ʻa Seni, “ʻOku ou fie tokangaʻi ʻe au ʻeta paʻangá. ʻOku ou faingamālie pea ʻoku ou malava.” ʻOkú na fakafanongo ʻi he fefakaʻapaʻapaʻaki ki heʻena ngaahi fakakaukaú.

Taimi ʻe niʻihi ko e taimi ʻoku vahevahe ai ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻena ngaahi fakakaukaú, ʻokú na ʻilo ai ʻoku ʻikai ke fepakipaki ʻena ngaahi fie maʻú. Ko e fepakipaki ʻoku hā maí meimei ko e ola ia ʻo e ʻikai ke maʻu ha mahinó.

Kapau ʻoku mālohi feʻunga ʻa e tukupā ʻa e mali takitaha ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku manako aí, pea kei hangē pē ʻoku fepakipakí e ngaahi tuʻungá, ʻe ala taʻofi ʻaupito ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻoku hangē ʻoku ʻikai ke na fakakaukau taha aí. ʻI he sīpinga ʻi ʻolungá, naʻe ʻikai ke loto ha taha ʻia Sione pe ko Seni ke fakafisi mei hono puleʻi e paʻangá. ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻikai pau ai ki ha tahá, ʻoku ʻunu leva ʻa e ongomeʻa malí ki he konga hono hoko ʻo e sīpinga ki hono fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí.

Konga Uá–Feinga ke ʻIloʻi e Ngaahi Meʻa ʻoku Fai ki ai e Hohaʻá

ʻOku fakatotoloʻi ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí ʻa ia ʻoku tefito ai e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻokú na ʻi aí–ngaahi ongo ʻokú na maʻú, fakaʻamú, manavasiʻí, ngaahi manatú, ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na saiʻia aí, ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ʻikai ke na saiʻia aí, mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na fakamahuʻingaʻí. ʻOku tukutaha e tokangá ki he mahino mo hono tali ʻo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku hohaʻa ki ai ʻa e tokotaha ko eé pea mo hono fakamatalaʻi mahino ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú te hohaʻa ki aí.

ʻI he ʻiloʻi ʻe he ongomeʻa malí e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku tukulotoʻi ʻa ia ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí, ʻokú na faʻa ʻilo ʻoku faitatau mo hōhoamālie e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na mahuʻingaʻia aí, fakakaukaú, ngaahi ongo ʻokú na maʻú, mo ʻena ngaahi holí. ʻI he sīpinga ʻa Sione mo Sení, ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ʻe Sione ke fakafalala kia Seni ke ne tokangaʻi e meʻa fakapaʻangá; ʻokú ne manavasiʻi naʻa ʻikai lava ʻo mapuleʻi ʻena lelei fakaʻekonōmiká. ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ʻe Seni ke ʻoange kia Sione ke ne puleʻi kakato ʻena ngaahi meʻa fakapaʻangá koeʻuhí ʻokú ne tui ko e puleʻi ʻo e meʻa fakapaʻangá ko e taha ia hono ngaahi mālohinga ʻoʻoná. ʻOkú na fakatou mahuʻingaʻia ʻi he tauʻatāiná ʻo tatau pē mo e fetauʻatāinaʻakí. Naʻe fakatou ohi hake kinaua ʻi ha ʻapi naʻe puleʻi pē ʻe he toko taha ʻa e ngaahi meʻa fakapaʻangá pea ongoʻi liʻekina e tokotaha ko eé.

Lolotonga hono fakahoko e konga ko ʻení, ʻoku tukulolo ʻa e fakafepakí ki he ngāue fakatahá. ʻOku fakakaukau ʻa e ongomeʻa malí ko e ongo mēmipa kinaua ʻo e timi tatau ʻokú na fakatotoloʻi ʻa e ngaahi tefito ʻo ha palopalema ʻi ha vā fetuʻutaki kae ʻikai ko e tauʻaki fesiosiofaki ko ha ongo fili.

ʻI he taimi ʻoku ola lelei ai ʻa e konga ko ʻení, kuo fakalahi ʻe he husepānití mo e uaifí ʻa e ngatangataʻanga ʻo e palopalemá mei he “ko e meʻa ʻoku ou fie maʻú” mo e “meʻa ʻokú ke fie maʻú” ki he “meʻa ʻokú ta saiʻia aí.” ʻOkú na fakakaukau ʻoku mahuʻinga ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hohaʻa ki ai ʻa e tokotahá ki he tokotaha ko eé. Neongo ʻe fepakipaki hona ngaahi tuʻungá, ʻe lava pē ke kehekehe e ngaahi hohaʻa ʻokú na tukulotoʻí kae kei hōhoamālie pē. ʻOku fakalakalaka ʻena mahinó ʻi he taimi te na femahinoʻaki ai mo fefakahoungaʻiaʻaki ʻi heʻena ngaahi manavasiʻí, mamahí mo e ngaahi holí. Taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻe fuʻu mahino ha founga fakalelei ʻi heʻena fakatou lea ʻaki e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fakatefito ki ai ʻena hohaʻá.

Kapau ʻe hangē ʻoku ʻikai ke faitatau ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí pea ʻikai hoko ha fakalelei, ʻe ala fie maʻu ke toe fekumi ke loloto ange e ongo meʻa malí ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí. ʻOku mahuʻinga ʻa e ngaahi taukei ki he fetuʻutakí. ʻOku taʻofi ʻe he fakaangá, tulitonuhiá, pe ngaahi tuʻunga fakakikihí ʻa e fengāueʻaki ki hono fakaleleiʻi e palopalemá. ʻI hono fehangahangaí, ʻoku fakafaingofuaʻi ʻe he anga fakapotopotó, fakafanongo ke femahinoʻakí, ongoʻi feʻofaʻakí, kakatá, mo e fetokangaʻiʻakí ʻa e ʻunu ki he femahinoʻakí mo e fefakaleleiʻakí ʻa ia ʻe fakatou ʻaonga ki he ongomeʻa malí. ʻOku lava ke toe vakaiʻi ʻe he ngaahi hoa-malí ʻa e fakataha fika 2 ki ha fakamatala kau ki he fetuʻutaki ʻoku ola leleí.

Konga Tolú–Fili ʻa e Ngaahi Founga Fakalelei ʻOkú Na Fakatou Fiemālie Ki Aí

Taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻe hā mahino ha founga fakalelei ʻoku tali ʻi hono ʻiloʻi fakaʻāuliliki fakataha ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai hā mahino ha founga fakalelei, ʻe lava ke fakakaukauʻi ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe malava aí, hiki e fakakaukau kotoa pē ʻoku hā mai ki heʻena fakakaukaú. Hili iá peá na toki fekumi ki ha founga te ne fakahaaʻi lelei taha ʻa e ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí pea kiʻi liliu pe fakalahi ʻa e foungá kae ʻoua kuó ne lava ke feau e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku hohaʻa ki ai ʻa e tokotaha takitaha.

ʻE tukutaha e tokanga ʻa e tokotaha takitaha ʻi he meʻa te ne lava ke fai ke fakahaaʻi ʻaki e ngaahi meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻoku hohaʻa ki aí kae ʻikai ko e feinga ke fakapapauʻi ʻa e meʻa ʻe lava ʻe he tokotaha ko eé ʻo faí. ʻOku ui ʻe Sūsana Hitilā ʻa e ngāue ki hono fakatupulaki ha foungá ko e “faʻu ha seti founga fakalelei kae ʻikai ko e … kumi ha pe ko e founga fakalelei pē ʻe taha.”7

ʻI he maʻu ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ha founga fakaleleí, ʻe tokoni haʻana fehuʻi pē kiate kinaua pe ʻoku kei ʻi ai ha konga ʻo e palopalemá ʻokú na kei ongoʻi ʻoku teʻeki fakaleleiʻi.8 Kapau ʻokú na ongoʻi ʻoku teʻeki ke na fefiemālieʻaki ʻi he founga fakaleleí pe kapau ʻoku ʻikai lava ke na fakatou tali ha founga, ʻe lava ke toe fakahoko ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻa e konga fika uá, tuku ha taimi lahi ke na ʻiloʻi ʻa e ngaahi meʻa tefito ʻokú na hohaʻa ki aí. Pea ʻi heʻena toe fai ʻa e konga fika tolú, ngalingali te na maʻu ha founga te na fakatou tali.

ʻE lava ke fakaʻohovale ʻa e faingofua ʻo e maʻu ʻo ha founga fakaleleí kapau ʻe ʻilo fakaʻāuliliki mo fakataha ʻe he ongomeʻa malí ʻa e ngaahi hohaʻa ʻokú na tukulotoʻí. Tatau ai pē pe ʻoku fakangatangata ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fili mei ai e ongomeʻa malí, ka ʻe lava ke na maʻu ha founga ʻe hangē ko e lelei pe mahuʻingamālie taha ia kiate kinauá fakatouʻosi.

ʻI he sīpinga ʻa Sione mo Sení, naʻá na fakatou felotoi ke na fakapatiseti fakataha ʻena paʻanga hū maí peá na vahevahe hono totongi ʻo e ngaahi moʻuá. Naʻá na fakapapau ke na fealeaʻaki kimuʻa pea toki fakamole ʻena paʻangá ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa ne ʻikai kau ʻi hono fakapatisetí. Naʻá na felotoi ke na toe vakaiʻi ʻena palaní ʻi he fakaʻosinga ʻo e māhiná.

ʻOku ʻikai faʻa hoko ʻa e founga fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí ʻi he hokohoko totonu mei he konga ʻuluakí ki he konga fika tolú. ʻE ala fie maʻu ʻe ha ongomeʻa mali ke feʻunuʻaki ki mui mo muʻa ʻena fealeaʻakí ʻi he ngaahi konga kotoa ko ʻeni ʻe tolú.

Ngaahi Tuʻutuʻuni ki Hono Aleaʻi e Ngaahi Palopalemá

Kuo ʻoatu e ngaahi tuʻutuʻuni ki hono aleaʻi e ngaahi palopalemá ʻi he peesi 65 ke tokoniʻi e ngaahi hoa-malí ke fakaʻaongaʻi ke ola lelei ʻa e sīpinga hono fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí. ʻOku ʻi ai ha tatau ʻo e ngaahi tuʻutuʻuní ʻi he ngaahi tohi ʻanautolu ʻoku kau he kalasí, ka ʻe fie maʻu ke ke ʻai ha ngaahi tatau ko ha maʻuʻanga tokoni faingofua ʻi he ako ʻanautolu oku kau he kalasí ki he ngaahi taukei ko ʻení pe ko kinautolu kuo ngalo ʻenau tohí.

Toe vakaiʻi mo e kalasí pea aleaʻi e ngaahi tuʻutuʻuní kimuʻa pea akoako ʻe he ngaahi hoa-malí ʻa e sīpinga fakaleleiʻi ʻo e fepakipakí. Kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha ngaahi fehuʻi ʻa e kau mēmipa ʻo e kalasí kau ki ha niʻihi ʻo e ngaahi tuʻutuʻuni ko ʻení, te ke lava ʻo toe vakaiʻi ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ne akoʻi ʻi he fakataha fika 2 ʻo ka fie maʻu.

Ko e Ngaahi Vā Fetuʻutaki ʻOku Maʻumaʻulutá

ʻE maʻu ʻe he niʻihi fakafoʻituituí e lelei ʻi he nofo-malí ʻi heʻenau feinga ke talangofua ki he ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e ongoongoleleí, ʻi heʻenau ngāue faivelenga ke fakaleleiʻi e ngaahi taʻefelotoí mo e fepakipakí, pea ʻi heʻenau feinga ke paotoloaki e fiefia mo e lelei ʻa e tokotaha kotoa pē.

Naʻe akonaki ʻa Palesiteni Kōtoni B. Hingikelī ʻo pehē:

“ʻOku ʻikai ke toe ʻi ai ha faʻahinga fokotuʻutuʻu kehe te ne lava ʻo fakahoko e ngaahi taumuʻa [fakalangi] ʻa e ʻOtua Māfimafí. Ko ʻEne fakatupu ʻa e tangatá mo e fefiné. [Ko kinaua ʻa ʻEne palaní]. ʻOku mahuʻinga ki Heʻene ngaahi taumuʻá ʻa ʻena fetokoniʻaki heʻena fetuʻutakí. He ʻikai kakato ʻa e taha taʻe kau ai ʻa e tahá. …

“ʻOku ʻikai ko e vete malí ʻa e faitoʻo ki he ngaahi palopalema lahi ʻo e nofo-malí. ʻE maʻu ia ʻi he fakatomalá mo e faʻa fakamolemolé, mo hono fakahā ʻo e loto-ʻofá mo e tokangá. ʻE maʻu ia ʻi hono tauhi ʻo e Lao Koulá.”9

Naʻe fakamatala ʻa Palesiteni Hingikelī ʻo pehē:

“ʻOku fakaʻofoʻofa ʻa e nofo-malí ʻi he taimi ʻoku fekumi mo tanumaki ai ʻa e fakaʻofoʻofá. … Te u lava ʻo fakahā atu ʻi he siasí ni kotoa ʻa e ngaahi fāmili ʻe lau kilu kuo nau lava ʻo fai ia ʻaki ʻa e ʻofá mo e melinó, mapuleʻí mo e faitotonú, tokangá mo e taʻesiokitá.

“Kuo pau ke fakatokangaʻi ʻa e konga molumalu mo toputapu ʻo e nofo-malí fakatouʻosi ʻi he husepānití mo e uaifí pea mo e palani kuo foaki ange ʻe he ʻOtuá ki aí.

“Kuo pau ke ʻi ai ha loto fiemālie ke ʻoua ʻe fakatokangaʻi ʻa e fanga kiʻi tōnounou īkí, ke fakamolemoleʻi, pea toki fakangaloʻi.

“Kuo pau ke mapuleʻi ʻe he tokotahá hono ʻeleló. Ko e ʻitá ko ha meʻa fulikivanu mo fakaʻauha ʻokú ne fakatupu ʻauha ʻa e ongoʻi ʻofá peá ne toʻo e ʻofá. …

“Kuo pau ke fakaafeʻi mo ngāueʻi, lehilehiʻi mo fakamālohia e Laumālie ʻo e ʻOtuá. Kuo pau ke fakatokangaʻi ʻa e moʻoni ko ia ko e tokotaha kotoa pē ko e fānau ʻa e ʻOtuá–tamaí, faʻeé, fohá, mo e ʻofefiné, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau totonu fakalangi takitaha–pea mo hono fakatokangaʻi foki ʻo e moʻoni ko ia ko e taimi ʻoku tau fakamamahiʻi ai ha taha ʻo kinautolú ni, ʻoku tau fakamamahiʻi ʻetau Tamai ʻi Hēvaní.”10

Maʻuʻanga Fakamatalá

  1. ʻI he Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 86; pe Tūhulu, Siulai 1995, 79.

  2. “Overcoming Those Differences of Opinion,” Ensign, Jan. 1987, 60.

  3. The Argument Culture: Moving from Debate to Dialogue (New York: Random House, 1998), 3.

  4. The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000), 125.

  5. ʻI he Conference Report, Apr. 1991, 109; pe Ensign, May 1991, 82.

  6. Vakai, From Conflict to Resolution: Skills and Strategies for Individual, Couple, and Family Therapyfai ʻe Susan M. Heitler, Ph.D. Maʻu ʻa e totonu fakalao © 1990 ʻe Susan Heitler. Fakaʻaongaʻi ʻi hono fakangofua ʻe he W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. Peesi 22–43.

  7. The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage (California: New Harbinger Publications, 1997), 202.

  8. Vakai, Susan Heitler, The Power of Two, 203; From Conflict to Resolution, 41–42.

  9. ʻI he Conference Report, Oct. 2004, 87–88; pe Liahona, Nōv. 2004, 84.

  10. ʻI he Conference Report, Apr. 1991, 97; pe Ensign, May 1991, 74.

“Ko ia ia ʻokú ne maʻu ʻa e laumālie ʻo e fakakikihí ʻoku ʻikai ʻaʻaku ia, ka ʻoku ʻo e tēvoló ia, ʻa ia ko e tamai ʻa e fakakikihí.”

Ngaahi Lao ki Hono Aleaʻi ʻo e Ngaahi Palopalemá

  • Fakakaukauʻi ha taimi mo ha feituʻu ke fai ai ʻa e talanoá. ʻOua ʻe kamata kae ʻoua kuó mo fakatou ongoʻi kuó mo mateuteu.

  • Nofo pē he tefitó. Kapau ʻe fie maʻu, hiki hoʻo ngaahi fakakaukaú (konga ʻuluaki ʻo e sīpingá) pea tuku ia ʻi muʻa ʻiate koe. ʻOku faingofua ke tohoakiʻi ʻetau tokangá.

  • Feinga ke mahino kae ʻikai ko e fakafekiki. Te mo fakatou ʻulungia kapau te mo fakatou feinga ke ikunaʻi e fakafekikí.

  • Tuku ke talanoa ho malí. ʻOku totonu ke mo fakatou maʻu ha faingamālie tatau ke talanoa ʻo ʻoua ʻe fakahohaʻasi.

  • Lea leʻo vaivai. ʻE faingofua ange haʻo vahevahe mo ho malí ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukaú mo e ngaahi ongó ʻi ha ʻātakai ʻoku malu, melino mo nonga. ʻI he taimi ʻoku leʻo siʻi aí, ʻokú ke fanongo mo ongoʻi ange ai ʻa e ngaahi ueʻi ʻa e Laumālie Māʻoniʻoní.

  • Kiʻi mālōlō, ʻo ka fie maʻu. Kapau ʻe tōtuʻa e ʻitá, kiʻi mālōlō, felotoi ki ha taimi ke toe fai ai ʻa e talanoá ʻi he ʻosi ʻa e ʻitá.

  • Ke Angaʻofa ʻOua te ke lau ki he ngaahi vaivai ho malí pe ngaahi meʻa ʻe “fakatupu ʻita taha” ki aí.

  • Fakaʻaongaʻi e lea totonú. ʻOku fakatupu ʻita ʻa e lea koví mo e ui ʻaki e hingoa fakaʻalumá, fakamā, mo fakamamahi. ʻOku nau fakatuaiʻi ʻa e ngāue ki hono fakaleleiʻi e fepakipakí.

  • Aleaʻi e ngaahi meʻa lolotongá. ʻOua ʻe fekumi ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻo e kuohilí. ʻOku totonu ke toki aleaʻi pē ʻa e meʻa ʻo e kuohilí kapau ko e konga ia ʻo ha palopalema lolotonga ne teʻeki ai ke fakaleleiʻi.

  • ʻOua ʻe houtamaki. ʻOku fakatupu ʻauha ʻa e ʻulungāanga houtamakí pea ʻoku fehangahangai ia mo e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e ongoongoleleí.

  • ʻOua ʻe fakamanamana ʻaki ʻa e vete malí pe māvaé. Kuo ʻosi fakatupu ʻe he ngaahi fakamanamana peheé ha niʻihi fakafoʻituitui ke nau fakahoko ha faʻahinga meʻa te nau fakameʻapangoʻia ai ʻamui.

  • Fekumi ki ha tokoni fakalaumālie. ʻI hoʻo lotua fakamātoato ke maʻu ha tokoní, ʻe tataki ʻe he ʻEikí hoʻo ngaahi ngāué, fakamolū ho lotó, mo tokoniʻi koe ke maʻu ha ngaahi founga..

  • Kiʻi mālōlō pea toe feinga. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai te ke lava ʻo fakaleleiʻi ha palopalema ʻaki ʻa e sīpingá, loto fiemālie ke kiʻi tuku fakataimi ki he tafaʻakí ʻa e palopalemá. Fokotuʻu ha taimi ke toe ngāue ki ai ʻaki ha ivi foʻou.

  • Kumi ha ngaahi founga ʻe lava ke fakafuofuaʻí. Hangē ko ʻení, ʻoku lava ke fakafuofuaʻi mo mamata ʻi ha founga hangē ko e “Te u kamata ʻe au ʻa e lotu fakafāmilí pea kamata ʻe koe ʻa e ako folofolá.”

  • Palani ki hono fakahoko ʻo e foungá. Fakakaukauʻi pe ko hai te ne fai ʻa e hā, ʻe fakahoko fakakū, pea ʻe fakahoko tuʻo fiha ia.

  • Felotoi ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fakamanatú. ʻAi ke mo felotoi pe ʻoku fie maʻu ha ngaahi meʻa ke fakamanatu, ko hai te ne fai iá, mo e founga ʻe fakahoko ʻakí.

  • Palani ki he ngaahi meʻa ʻe ʻikai fakakaú. Palani kimuʻa ʻa e founga te mo fai ki he ngaahi tūkunga te ne fakafaingataʻaʻiaʻi ʻa e foungá.

  • Toe fakafuofuaʻi mo toe vakaiʻi. Fokotuʻu ha ʻaho mo ha taimi ke toe fakafuofuaʻi ai hoʻomo foungá, pea fai hano toe vakaiʻi ʻo ka fie maʻu.