Chastity: Strengthening My Sense of Identity

By Kamilla Medveczky

I always felt uncomfortable about sexual intimacy outside of marriage, and the gospel taught me that my feelings were valid.

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woman looking at a compass

I was 20 when I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 2021. I hadn’t exactly been living “righteously”—quite the opposite, actually. Before joining the Church, I smoked, drank, and partied a lot, which is common for young adults in Hungary.

Yet as lightly as I treated these things, I never felt right doing them. I felt especially uncomfortable when it came to sexual interactions. I had learned from the world that the purpose of sex was for pleasure and self-gratification. Most people around me agreed that it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t judge my friends for having that perspective, but I realized that sexual intimacy wasn’t insignificant to me.

Was I Weird?

I was ashamed of being one of those “weird” people who wanted to wait until marriage. I thought I could date someone who shared my point of view.

However, the world’s pressures became louder, and I started to believe that my expectations were too high. So I lowered my standards.

When I was 18, I was dating someone and told myself that I was being dramatic and naïve—that sex was not as serious as I thought. I made myself get over my uncomfortable emotions and believed I would feel right about it eventually.

But that never happened.

I’ve been a Christian since I was 16, but I didn’t have the law of chastity to reassure me that my instinctive feelings were trying to tell me who I am—a child of God who deserves love and commitment and holiness. I felt this truth but wasn’t sure of what it was until I learned about the gospel.

Faith Empowers Us

It can be easy to give in to the world’s loud voices. But as God’s children, I believe we all have a spiritual instinct from the Holy Ghost to be true to our divine identity. We don’t have to lower our standards or be ashamed of our beliefs. With faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, we can be different as we keep His commandments.

I always felt that sexual intimacy is sacred and more significant than the world makes it out to be. It’s meant to help eternal companions deepen their love and strengthen their covenants to one another as they build a celestial relationship and family.

But even so, as I learned about the gospel, changing my lifestyle wasn’t easy. Just as President Russell M. Nelson taught, “It takes faith to live a chaste life when the world shouts that God’s law of chastity is now outmoded.”¹

Despite the pressures around me, my faith in Christ strengthened me to keep the commandments.

I am beyond grateful for the gift of repentance and for the Savior’s support and Atonement. Even when we make mistakes, He can sanctify our souls from guilt and shame and empower us in ways we never thought possible.

Hope for the Future

Nowadays I smile at how I used to think I would never find a companion who would be willing to follow the law of chastity. Becoming a member of the Church showed me that many of us are striving for the same standards. Living worthily helps me have confidence in my divine identity and peace in my heart as I move forward on the covenant path.

I experienced a lot of pain by not living the law of chastity. But as I sought Christ, I came to know how deeply Heavenly Father loves us. I can testify that He doesn’t want to restrict us—He wants to save us from pain, heartbreak, and other consequences and prepare us for a loving, lasting, and selfless eternal relationship.

Because of His love and laws and the gift of the Savior, I now feel the joy, redemption, and hope They offer. After all, “God’s greatest blessings are reserved for those who obey His laws. … [His] laws are motivated entirely by His infinite love for us and His desire for us to become all we can become.”²

I know that by following the Lord’s commandments and keeping covenants, you will understand His truths and see so many fulfilled promises and blessings in your life.

I know I have.

The author lives in Hungary.