Hot and Cold Jokes

Is it summer or winter where you live? Did you know that while it’s winter in Australia, it’s summer in England? Enjoy these summer and winter jokes any time of year.

What do you give to a dog that has a fever?

Mustard and ketchup. They go on hot dogs.

What season is it when you jump on a trampoline?

Springtime.

What does the sun drink from?

Sunglasses.

What did the pig put on his sunburn?

Oinkment.

What kind of mammal can fly?

A hot-air baboon.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Crab.

Crab who?

Crab your beach towel. We’re going swimming.

What kind of flower roars?

The dandelion.

What did one icicle say to another?

“Hang in there!”

What do you call a hippo at the North Pole?

Lost.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snowbody but me.

Who is Antarctica’s husband?

Uncle Arctica.

What is black and white and black and white?

A penguin doing somersaults.

Which animals are the coldest?

Mice. Except for the M, they’re ice.

What does an Eskimo grow in his garden?

Iceberg lettuce.

Illustrations by Lance Fry