“If,” Friend, Aug. 1972, inside front cover–1


If you had the face of a rhinoceros

And the stripes of a zebra too,

What would you do for a name, my friend?

You couldn’t be Johnny or Sue.

Why no, I couldn’t, my dears, my dears—

But I think it would suit me fine

If people spoke of me by name

And called me a zeborhine.

If you had a smile like a crocodile

And were small as a pygmy shrew,

What in the world would you call yourself?

What in the world would you do?

Why that’s very easy, my dears, my dears—

I’d invent a name quite new,

And go about enjoying myself

As a beautiful crockoshrew.

Illustrated by Virginia Sargent