“If,” Friend, Aug. 1972, inside front cover–1
If you had the face of a rhinoceros
And the stripes of a zebra too,
What would you do for a name, my friend?
You couldn’t be Johnny or Sue.
Why no, I couldn’t, my dears, my dears—
But I think it would suit me fine
If people spoke of me by name
And called me a zeborhine.
If you had a smile like a crocodile
And were small as a pygmy shrew,
What in the world would you call yourself?
What in the world would you do?
Why that’s very easy, my dears, my dears—
I’d invent a name quite new,
And go about enjoying myself
As a beautiful crockoshrew.