Friend Connection

Coping with Grief

Use the Friend magazine to help your family understand a different sensitive topic each month.

Friend Connection article

When someone we love dies, it can be hard to explain that loss to a child. But children are not too young to grieve or know that their lives will be altered by the death of someone they love. They also aren’t too young to feel the peace and comfort provided by the Holy Ghost and God’s plan.

Because of Heavenly Father’s plan of salvation and the Savior’s Atonement, we have hope that we’ll see our loved ones again. But that doesn’t make us not miss them now.

Some important things to know are that there’s no one right way to feel and that the grief will most likely resurface as children grow older. You can use these materials from the Friend to help children through the grieving process or to help them understand the grief of a friend or loved one.

“Always Brothers” (page 26)

Luis learns that his baby brother will die soon. His parents explain that Heavenly Father has made it possible for Luis to see his brother again. Knowing this doesn’t take away the sad feelings, but Luis finds comfort in realizing that death is not the end.

“Gethsemane” (page 28)

Learn this beautiful song about the Savior’s Atonement. Talk with your children about how the Savior can help us through any hard thing in our lives.

“Fishing Buddies” (March 2016 Friend, pages 34–36)

After Grandpa dies, it’s hard for Jacob to do the old traditions they shared. Read the sidebar “When Someone We Love Dies” to learn more about grief. If you haven’t had someone close to you die, you can use the tips in the sidebar to help you and your children reach out to those who have.

Talk about It

• Use concrete language, like “died” rather than “lost” or “passed on.” Vaguer terms can leave children wondering when their loved one will be coming back.

• Answer all their questions honestly, even the hard ones. It’s OK to say, “I don’t know.”

• Let children talk about the person who died, both good and bad memories. Bringing up that person’s name will show children that it’s OK to talk about him or her.

• Listen without judgment and avoid phrases like “I know what you’re feeling.” Everyone experiences grief in their own way.

Related Resources

• Read the story of Lazarus to see how even Jesus Christ grieves (see John 11:1–5, 17–35). Remember that Jesus understands how we feel.

• Read Mosiah 18:9. Think about ways you can comfort those who are mourning.

• To find more resources and support, see “Grief,” Gospel Topics, topics.lds.org. For child-specific resources, see childrengrieve.org and dougy.org (not Church affiliated).

Find stories, activities, and media about other gospel topics at lessonhelps.lds.org. For past Friend Connection articles, visit FriendConnection.lds.org.