How Can I Forgive Myself?

Sometimes, we continue to be hard on ourselves long after God has forgiven us.

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Jesus has already suffered for our sins

Jesus suffered for your sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Golgotha. When we do something wrong, we can repent and become clean again because of Jesus’s sacrifice. Forgiving ourselves is an act of faith in Him.

For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.” —Doctrine and Covenants 19:16

That doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want because Jesus has already taken care of it. But it does mean that we should have faith and move forward with our lives once we have repented. We shouldn’t dwell on past mistakes.

Guilt can weaken our relationship with God

If we continue to let guilt affect us after we have repented and received forgiveness, we can actually distance ourselves from God.

Sometimes we get the idea that God doesn’t want to talk to us or that we are unworthy to pray. This is not true. God loves all His children and is perfectly willing to forgive when we sincerely repent. When God forgives, it’s like the sin never happened.

But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven.” —Moroni 6:8

It is important to understand that the devil “seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). The misery that comes from guilt hinders our ability to feel the Spirit. God wants us to experience joy as we repent of our sins and follow Jesus Christ.

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Learn about forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Learn to let go and move on

A prophet from the Book of Mormon named Enos wrote about his experience asking God for forgiveness. He prayed all day and night, and he heard a voice say, “Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed” (see Enos 1:5). The beauty of this story is how Enos reacted. He wrote, “And I, Enos knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away” (see Enos 1:6).

Enos did not continue to dwell on his mistakes. Instead, he immediately began to pray for the welfare of others. He went from thinking inwardly to thinking about others. Take Enos’s example to heart and learn to quickly move on after you have repented.

Forgiving yourself is healthy

Forgiving yourself is a concept supported by medical and mental health professionals. Though often thought of as a religious doctrine, scientific research backs up the benefits of self-forgiveness.

Andrea Brandt, Ph.D. M.F.T., said, “Acknowledge that not everyone is self-aware or empathetic enough to admit they’ve done something wrong. Appreciate that you’re the kind of person who can recognize your faults and mistakes and say, ‘I did this; I am responsible.’ You’ve done something wrong, yes, but at your core, you are a good person” (“When Forgiving Yourself Is the Hardest Kind of Forgiveness,” Psychology Today, Oct. 2, 2017, psychologytoday.com).

Essentially, she is saying that feeling sorry is a good indicator of our character. However, she is quick to point out that “no benefit or good can come from keeping yourself stuck in the disempowering pattern of self-punishment. Punishing yourself doesn’t serve anyone. To serve others and make your own life better, you must forgive yourself.”

If you want to learn more about forgiveness and the role of Jesus Christ, we invite you to meet with Church representatives.

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