Questions & Answers: How do I make good friends?
March 2017

“Questions & Answers: How do I make good friends?” New Era, March 2017

Questions & Answers

“How do I make good friends? I try to be nice, but they turn me away.”

Feeling like you don’t have many friends is hard to deal with. Sometimes you may feel alone, but remember that you are a loved child of Heavenly Father. You can turn to Him for help and guidance, especially as you work to make good friends. Your family can also be a great strength to you and can be your longest-lasting friends. Be patient! Making lasting friends may take some time and effort, but it will be worth it.

American writer Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one” (“Friendship,” Essays: First Series [1841]). This is as true now as it was when he first wrote it.

One thing you can do is to think about the kind of friend you would like to have and then be that kind of friend to those around you. This will help you find worthy friends who will build you up.

For the Strength of Youth suggests that you “show genuine interest in others; smile and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, and refrain from judging and criticizing those around you. Do not participate in any form of bullying. Make a special effort to be a friend to those who are shy or lonely, have special needs, or do not feel included” ([2011], 16).

Sometimes learning a new skill or hobby will lead you to friends who share the same interests as you. As you get involved in wholesome activities, focus on others, listen to them, and as you find ways to serve, you can draw like-minded friends to you.

Keep Looking

Sometimes people won’t accept who you are. They may turn you away because you’re different, you have different beliefs and standards, or they’re jealous of unique qualities you have. Continue to be a good friend, and continue to be nice. If they still turn you away, find other people who accept who you are and have your standards. Ask Heavenly Father to help you find good friends and to be nice to those who turn you away.

Jessie G., 14, Idaho, USA


Smile! How people see you affects if they want to get to know you. This doesn’t mean you need to change your clothes or attitude. Just smile to let others know that you are open to conversations. A smile can go a long way.

Joni J., 17, Utah, USA

Common Interests

Find people who have common interests with you. That doesn’t mean that you drop your standards or change who you are, but try to find people who like the same things you do.

James G., 16, California, USA

Be a Good Friend

Treat everyone with kindness, respect, and love. Show an interest and that you care about them. Find friends who will help you to obey the commandments of God.

Fidel Ford M., 14, Philippines

Serve Others

Being nice is definitely a good way to start. I believe that if you try to serve others around you, then they will react and be nice in return. The people that respond warmly to your kindness will be the friends you want to have.

Kendall C., 17, Washington, USA

Continue to Be Kind

Continue to be kind. Try to be a good example to them.

David S., 14, Utah, USA

Be Genuinely Interested

Being genuinely interested in other people helps them trust you and want to get to know you better.

Jane M., 16, California, USA

Be a Good Friend

If you want good friends, you have to be a good friend. You show people what you think of yourself and your values by the way you act and dress. Act the way you want people to act around you. Be the kind of friend you would want.

Emma H., 18, Utah, USA

Put Yourself Out There

Put yourself out there. I have moved many times and have learned that people are just as nervous as you are to make new friends. So be the one to talk to others and get to know them.

Aubrey A., 14, Colorado, USA