Lesson 8 Class Preparation Material: Seeking to Understand Same-Sex Attraction and Loving Our LGBT Brothers and Sisters
“Lesson 8 Class Preparation Material: Seeking to Understand Same-Sex Attraction and Loving Our LGBT Brothers and Sisters,” The Eternal Family Teacher Material (2022)
“Lesson 8 Class Preparation Material,” The Eternal Family Teacher Material
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a group of young adults walking on the beach
Lesson 8 Class Preparation Material
Seeking to Understand Same-Sex Attraction and Loving Our LGBT Brothers and Sisters
We are all beloved children of heavenly parents. We are also individuals with unique talents, abilities, and experiences. Some of God’s children experience same-sex attraction or identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, which is often abbreviated LGBT. (The topic of transgender was discussed in lesson 7.) How have you responded to others who experience same-sex attraction or identify as LGBT? If you experience same-sex attraction, what has your experience been like with family, friends, and members of the Church? As you study this material, consider what you can do to be more like the Savior and treat all of Heavenly Father’s children with love, inclusion, and respect.
Section 1
How can the Savior help me show love and respect for those who experience same-sex attraction?
President Thomas S. Monson taught that “love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar” (“Love—the Essence of the Gospel,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2014, 91). Near the conclusion of His mortal ministry, the Savior emphasized the importance of truly loving all by giving His disciples “a new commandment.”
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Study in Preparation for Class
Read John 13:34–35, and ponder how this commandment can guide you as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
Like other members of the Church, those who experience same-sex attraction have friends and families, hopes and dreams, and strengths and weaknesses, and they are striving to navigate the challenges of life as best they can. Unfortunately, some who experience same-sex attraction or identify as LGBT feel they do not have a place in the Lord’s Church. Instead of feeling loved and supported, many feel rejected, isolated, confused, and afraid.
While serving as a counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, Sister Carol F. McConkie taught:
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Sister Carol F. McConkie
We just cannot be or even call ourselves a disciple of Christ if we are not helping others along that [covenant] path. The gospel of Jesus Christ does not marginalize people. People marginalize people. …
If we’re going to build the kingdom of God on the earth, we need everyone to come, to come and do their part. (“Lifting Others” [2:49], ChurchofJesusChrist.org)
Think for a minute about the Savior’s life. When did He show love for those who struggled to feel accepted? Consider how putting the following suggestions into practice could help you better follow the Savior’s example of love when discussing and when interacting with individuals who experience same-sex attraction:
Speak and act with genuine care, concern, and compassion. Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. … Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach.” (“Let Us Be at the Forefront” [0:59], ChurchofJesusChrist.org; watch the video to learn more.)
Build understanding by listening without judgment. President Jean B. Bingham of the Relief Society General Presidency shared, “One of the best ways to form a good relationship is not to come in with assumptions or preconceived notions, keeping an open mind and open heart.” (To learn more, watch “Focus on the One” [2:32], ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)
Recognize that same-sex attraction and feelings are real. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles counseled: “One thing that’s always important is to recognize the feelings of a person, that they are real. That they are authentic. That we don’t deny that someone feels a certain way.” (To learn more, watch “Feelings Are Real and Authentic” [0:47], ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)
Focus on eternal identity. President Russell M. Nelson said: “Not all labels are of equal value. But if any label replaces your most important identifiers, the results can be spiritually suffocating. … No identifier should displace, replace, or take priority over these three enduring designations: ‘child of God,’ ‘child of the covenant,’ and ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’” (“Choices for Eternity” [worldwide devotional for young adults, May 15, 2022], ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Honor the commandments and covenants of God. Loving others as the Savior loves us does not mean that we agree with, endorse, or promote behaviors that are contrary to the commandments of God. Jesus Christ taught, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained that the first commandment, to love God, is first for a reason: “Putting the first commandment first does not diminish or limit our ability to keep the second commandment [to love our neighbor]. To the contrary, it amplifies and strengthens it. … Our love of God elevates our ability to love others more fully and perfectly because we in essence partner with God in the care of His children” (“The First Commandment First” [Brigham Young University devotional, Mar. 22, 2022], 2, speeches.byu.edu).
We show love for God and others when we clearly communicate His doctrine and commandments in sensitive ways. As stated in the Same-Sex Attraction resources published by the Church:
There is no change in the Church’s position of what is morally right. But what is changing—and what needs to change—is helping Church members respond sensitively and thoughtfully when they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere. (In Same-Sex Attraction: Church Leaders, “Communicate Doctrine with Love,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org; see also Dallin H. Oaks, “What Needs to Change” [video], ChurchofJesusChrist.org)
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Ponder in Preparation for Class
Take a few minutes to reflect on your attitude and actions toward those who experience same-sex attraction or identify as LGBT. Would you say that your thoughts, words, and deeds have been consistent with the Lord’s commandment to “love one another; as I have loved you”? (John 13:34). If you experience same-sex attraction, consider how you can show love to those who lack understanding of and compassion for your experience.
Section 2
What are some things I should know about same-sex attraction?
Such terms as gay (sometimes used generally to refer to someone attracted to others of their own sex, and otherwise used specifically to refer to a man attracted to men), lesbian (a woman attracted to women), or bisexual (a man or woman attracted to both sexes) may be used to indicate a feeling, an identity, or a lifestyle. Remember that regardless of the term or terms a person uses to identify his or her sexual feelings or orientation, our most important identity is as a “beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
The development of our sexuality is complex and is influenced by many factors. Feelings of same-sex attraction can vary in intensity, can fluctuate over time, and are not the same for everyone. The Church has no official position on what causes same-sex attraction. (See “Same-Sex Attraction: Individuals,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)
Out of deep love for His children, Heavenly Father has given us the law of chastity and commanded that sexual relations take place “only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). This law protects the sacred purposes of sexuality in God’s plan and applies to all of God’s children. Heavenly Father has ordained sexual relations to take place between a man and a woman within the marriage covenant “for the creation of children and for the expression of love” (Gospel Topics, “Chastity,” topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
In response to social pressure to alter teachings regarding the law of chastity, Elder D. Todd Christofferson stated:
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Elder D. Todd Christofferson
The law of chastity has applied since the very beginning. … Our doctrine—not just belief, but doctrine—that sexual relations are only appropriate and lawful in the Lord’s eyes between man and woman legally and lawfully married is unchanged and will never change. (In Sarah Jane Weaver, “Church’s Doctrine on Chastity Will Never Change, Says Elder Christofferson,” Church News, Feb. 5, 2015, ChurchofJesusChrist.org)
It is important to distinguish between feelings and behaviors. Experiencing same-sex attraction or being gay, lesbian, or bisexual does not make a person sinful, bad, or broken; however, acting on these feelings by breaking the law of chastity is a violation of Heavenly Father’s commandments.
Speaking about the Church’s position on same-sex attraction, President M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:
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President M. Russell Ballard
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that “the experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them” [see Same-Sex Attraction: Individuals, “Is Feeling Same-Sex Attraction a Sin?” section, ChurchofJesusChrist.org]. (“The Lord Needs You Now!,” Ensign, Sept. 2015, 29)
The Lord’s mercy is available to any who have broken the law of chastity. If they choose to come to Him and repent, He will forgive them.
If you experience same-sex attraction, consider how the resource referenced in the “Want More?” section can bless your life. Also, if you feel comfortable, consider sharing your experience with a trusted family member, friend, or Church leader. Be cautious about labeling yourself publicly in ways that can detract from your eternal goals.
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Ponder in Preparation for Class
How can you be blessed by having a better understanding of what Church leaders are teaching about same-sex attraction?
Section 3
How do I make sense of all the competing opinions about same-sex attraction?
Today there are many different perspectives about marriage, family, same-sex attraction, and LGBT topics. As we learn about these topics, it is important to seek to better understand Heavenly Father’s eternal perspective.
President Bingham taught the following:
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President Jean B. Bingham
The viewpoint that makes all things clear is an eternal perspective: the perfect, all-encompassing perspective of our Heavenly Father. …
From His vantage point, God sees us and everything around us “as they really are, and … as they really will be” [Jacob 4:13]. His viewpoint is long term rather than being limited to the here and now, allowing Him to see our divine potential rather than just our present or past condition. And He looks at all His creations through the lens of love. (“How to Be Happy Now—and Forever” [Brigham Young University devotional, Dec. 10, 2019], 2, speeches.byu.edu)
As you read the following truths and supporting statements by prophets and apostles, consider how they can help you to further develop an eternal perspective on same-sex attraction.
Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. (“We Never Walk Alone,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2013, 123–24)
The Savior has a perfect understanding of our experiences and knows how to help and strengthen each of us (see Alma 7:11–12).
President Oaks said:
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President Dallin H. Oaks
Our Savior experienced and suffered the fulness of all mortal challenges. … He therefore knows our struggles, our heartaches, our temptations, and our suffering, for He willingly experienced them all as an essential part of His Atonement. And because of this, His Atonement empowers Him to succor us—to give us the strength to bear it all. (“Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2015, 61–62)
I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. (“Questions and Answers” [Brigham Young University devotional, Nov. 14, 2017], 3, speeches.byu.edu)
Some who experience same-sex attraction have also wondered how they fit into Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness after this life. Prophets have reassured us that our loving Heavenly Father will bless all those who turn to and remain faithful to Him. Elder Ulisses Soares has counseled:
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Elder Ulisses Soares
The same principles apply to those of you who are experiencing same-gender attraction and feel discouraged and helpless. And maybe for this reason some of you are feeling that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not for you anymore. If that is the case, I want to assure you that there is always hope in God the Father and in His plan of happiness, in Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice, and in living Their loving commandments. In His perfect wisdom, power, justice, and mercy, the Lord may seal us His, that we may be brought to His presence and have everlasting salvation, if we are steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments [see Alma 1:25] and are always abounding in good works [see Mosiah 5:15]. (“Take Up Our Cross,” Ensign, Nov. 2019, 114)
As we focus on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and keep our covenants with Them, we can be sustained by hope (see 2 Nephi 31:20).
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then of the First Presidency, testified:
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President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
We hope in Jesus the Christ, in the goodness of God, in the manifestations of the Holy Spirit, in the knowledge that prayers are heard and answered. … This type of hope … refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair. (“The Infinite Power of Hope,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 23)
With a family member or trusted friend, discuss what you learned and felt as you read this material. Come to class ready to share any insights you gain from your discussion.
