two people hugging

Lesson 26 Class Preparation Material

Recognizing and Healing from Abuse

Abuse is a serious sin. Prophets and apostles have warned that “individuals who … abuse spouse or offspring … will one day stand accountable before God” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org). As you study this lesson, look for how you can recognize when abuse is happening and how those who have been affected by abuse can be healed by the Lord.

Section 1

What is abuse?

Our choices can have a variety of consequences for us and others. Sadly, some people use their moral agency unrighteously to abuse others.

“Often there is not a single definition of abuse that can be applied in all situations. Instead, there is a spectrum of severity in abusive behavior. This spectrum ranges from occasionally using sharp words to inflicting serious harm” (General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 38.6.2.4, ChurchofJesusChrist.org). Abuse can happen through neglect or mistreatment of others in physical, sexual, emotional, or financial ways.

As one Church publication notes:

The Lord expects us to do everything we can to prevent abuse and to protect and help victims. No one is expected to endure abusive behavior. …

… Victims … are never to blame for the harmful behavior of others—no matter who abuses them. A victim is not guilty. (Gospel Topics, “Abuse,” topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org)

a young adult sits alone

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles addressed our responsibility as disciples of Jesus Christ to refrain from abusing others, especially our family members:

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

How doubly careful we have to be as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. … In no case are we to be guilty of any form of abuse or unrighteous dominion or immoral coercion—not physical or emotional or ecclesiastical or any other kind. …

In too many instances, otherwise faithful men, women, and even children can be guilty of speaking unkindly, even destructively, to those to whom they may well be sealed by a holy ordinance in the temple of the Lord. Everyone has the right to be loved, to feel peaceful, and to find safety at home. Please, may we try to maintain that environment there. The promise of being a peacemaker is that you will have the Holy Ghost for your constant companion and blessings will flow to you “without compulsory means” forever [Doctrine and Covenants 121:46]. (“Not as the World Giveth,” Liahona, May 2021, 37; see also Ephesians 4:29–32)

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Ponder in Preparation for Class

What gospel principles are violated when abuse occurs?

Section 2

How can I recognize if abuse is happening?

“There are common signs to watch for of how abuse often begins and continues” (“Recognizing Patterns of Abuse,” abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org). Recognizing and understanding these signs can open the door for the Lord to work through you to help stop abuse or prevent situations that may lead to abuse.

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Study in Preparation for Class

Spend a few minutes studying the resource “Recognizing Patterns of Abuse” (abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org), and attend class ready to share what you learned.

a young adult seeking help from a priesthood leader

Never minimize the seriousness of abuse to yourself or to anyone else. “If you or someone you know has been abused, seek help immediately from civil authorities, priesthood leaders, child protective services, or adult protective services” (“In Crisis? Talk Now,” abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org). For additional information on reporting abuse, see “What Should I Do If I Know or Suspect That Someone Is Being Abused?” (abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

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Ponder in Preparation for Class

Reflect on how you can use the teachings in this section to protect yourself and to be an instrument of the Lord in protecting others from abuse.

Section 3

How can I heal if I’ve been abused?

Victims of abuse suffer deep wounds. The pain and trauma they have experienced can lead to mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles cautioned:

Elder Richard G. Scott

If you have been abused, Satan will strive to convince you that there is no solution. … His strategy is to do all possible to separate you from your Father and His Son. Do not let Satan convince you that you are beyond help. (“To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2008, 41)

The Master Physician, Jesus Christ, can provide hope and ultimate healing to all of God’s children. Elder Scott further taught:

Elder Richard G. Scott

Moral agency is a vital element in our Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness. He understood that some of His spirit children would use that agency improperly, causing serious problems to others. Some would even violate sacred trust, such as a father or family member abusing an innocent child. Since our Heavenly Father is completely just, there has to be a way of overcoming the tragic consequences of such damaging use of agency for both the victim and the perpetrator. That secure healing comes through the power of the Atonement of His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to rectify that which is unjust. Faith in Jesus Christ and in His power to heal provides the abused with the means to overcome the terrible consequences of another’s unrighteous acts. …

Healing may begin with a thoughtful bishop or stake president or a wise professional counselor. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t decide to fix it yourself. Serious abuse can also benefit from professional help. There are many ways to begin healing, but remember that a full cure comes through the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Master and Redeemer. Have faith that with effort His perfect, eternal, infinite Atonement can heal your suffering from the consequences of abuse. (“To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” 40, 42)

Jesus Christ hugs a man He healed

The prophet Isaiah spoke of the Savior’s mission and power to heal.

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Study in Preparation for Class

Read Isaiah 61:1–3, and look for the hope Jesus Christ offers to anyone who has suffered abuse.

To better understand the phrase “beauty for ashes” (verse 3), it may help to know that the Israelites would traditionally pour ashes on their heads during times of sadness or despair. The Lord promised to replace these ashes with beauty, or with a crown or head covering of beauty. Those who exercise faith in Jesus Christ can experience this sacred gift of healing and love.

Consider watching the video “The Prince of Peace” (2:32), and think about how Jesus Christ can help give peace to victims of abuse.

President Jean B. Bingham, Relief Society General President, reaffirmed:

President Jean B. Bingham

No matter what we have suffered, [Jesus Christ] is the source of healing. Those who have experienced any manner of abuse … can all be made whole by the Redeemer of the world. However, He will not enter without invitation. We must come unto Him and allow Him to work His miracles. (“That Your Joy Might Be Full,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 86)

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Ponder in Preparation for Class

What have you done to invite comfort, help, and healing from the Savior, in any circumstance? What can help you to be patient and faithful throughout the time it may take to heal?

Want More? (Optional)

Where can I learn more about patterns of abuse?

In the article “Hearts Pierced with Deep Wounds: Understanding Abuse in the Family” (Ensign, Oct. 2020, 49–53), Jason B. Whiting, a professor at Brigham Young University, described five typical abusive patterns and provided a message of hope.

Where can I learn more about healing from abuse?

In the video “Living with the Pain of Childhood Abuse” (4:50), a woman who suffered abuse as a child shares how she began to find mental and emotional healing through God’s love.

Talking about abuse with appropriate individuals can invite healing, as illustrated in the experience one woman shared in the video “Talking about Sexual Abuse” (3:18).

In the article “A Bridge to Hope and Healing” (Ensign, Apr. 2017, 59–63), one Church member shared principles of healing from the effects of sexual abuse.

You can find ideas for helping someone heal from abuse in the resource “How Can I Support Someone Who Has Been Abused?” (abuse.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

What hope is there for someone who has abused someone else?

Elder Richard G. Scott

The Lord offers healing and forgiveness to perpetrators of abuse who choose to repent. Elder Scott taught principles that can help victims, perpetrators, and those who wish to provide support to help individuals heal in his talk “To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse” (pages 40–43).