“Finally Understanding What It Means to Be Loved by God,” Liahona, Sept. 2023.
Young Adults
Finally Understanding What It Means to Be Loved by God
I had lost sight of the power of knowing my divine identity.
Illustration by Alecia Schubert
When I was young, my family moved from Hungary to Germany. I was excited to move there, but it turned out to be the hardest nine years of my life.
I struggled to learn German, and I have always been pretty sensitive, both of which made me a target for bullying. My self-worth really plummeted. Over time I felt like I was unloved and had little hope for the future. I wondered if the world would be better off without me and sometimes even had thoughts of suicide.
But somehow, through all the suffering, I knew I was given my life for a reason, even if I didn’t fully understand why. I knew I could find the Savior’s light even in the darkest times (see Ether 12:4). When the world seemed to be turning against me, I knew where to find Him and what He could do for me if I sought Him through the scriptures, prayer, and doing my best to be His disciple. It truly was living His gospel that gave me any sort of peace and helped me keep going during this terrible time.
A Truth I Had Lost Sight Of
Eventually, my family and I moved back to Hungary. I had graduated high school, and although my bullying days were over, I was still lacking self-esteem. The repercussions from being treated so poorly really affected me, and sometimes I still doubted my self-worth.
And as a young adult, I really wanted to be confident in making big life decisions and deciding what I wanted to accomplish in life.
While I was struggling with this, I felt prompted to attend a conference for young single adults in eastern Europe. I needed some spiritual direction in my life to help me deepen my self-worth and prayed to find answers there.
One night at the conference, goosebumps erupted on my arms when the fireside speaker began to talk about how he was bullied as a child. He spoke about how he had once felt worthless and invisible. I immediately started to cry.
He described just what I had experienced.
The speaker continued and shared the truth he had held on to during his challenges—a truth I had lost sight of:
“I am a child of God.”
Embracing My Divine Identity
When the fireside was over, I still had tears streaming down my face. The speaker noticed and came to put his arm around me. He told me that he usually doesn’t come in person to speak at firesides but felt prompted that there was one person who needed to hear his message directly.
I was that person.
This experience showed me how fully aware Heavenly Father is of His children and that He knows exactly how to reach us so we can feel even just a glimmer of His perfect parental love. He knew I needed to hear this speaker’s message and had directed me to be in the right place at the right time.
I have known the phrase, “I am a child of God” my entire life, but the truth of it only fully resonated with my soul right then. I truly realized what it means to be a child of a perfect God who loves us so much that He was willing to sacrifice His own Son so we can live again and be redeemed from our sins. Who loves me so much that while He can’t always protect me from pain, He is with me through it and can help me rise above it, grow from it, and return to Him.
He loves me now, and He loved me infinitely during my years of bullying when I felt that no one else did. I know now that it was because I knew this truth deep down that I chose to keep going.
President Russell M. Nelson recently taught of the power of knowing our divine identity. He said: “My dear friends, you are literally spirit children of God. … But is that eternal truth imprinted upon your heart? …
“Make no mistake about it: Your potential is divine. With your diligent seeking, God will give you glimpses of who you may become.”1
Now when I find myself questioning my worth, I always remind myself of the fact that I’m a child of God and that my life is a gift from Him.
Remember that you are a child of God. And never forget the sustaining, life-changing, and extraordinary spiritual power that comes from embracing that truth.
The author lives in Szeged, Hungary.