Changing My Approach to Gaining a Testimony

By Dara Layton

For the first time I had a simple seed of faith that was real.

Image

various gardening items, including a potted plant held by two hands

I grew up in the Church—I went to the activities, and I participated in family prayer and scripture study. But I didn’t really have a testimony. I didn’t know if I believed in God or His Son. I didn’t know if the Book of Mormon was true.

I wanted a testimony, but I felt frustrated after praying many times without feeling like I had received an answer. I started wondering, “If God is real, why won’t He show me? Why does He let me sit here wondering?”

Looking back, I can see clearly why I wasn’t getting an answer: I wasn’t really putting in the effort. I would read my scriptures for five minutes once a week and expect some revelatory experience just because I asked for it.

I didn’t understand that faith is a principle of action.

A Seed of Faith

Anyone looking from the outside would have called me “active” in the Church, but I still didn’t know if the Church was true. But I did want to know.

So I decided to serve a mission. I incorrectly assumed that as a missionary, I would automatically be more likely to get answers from God. I still wasn’t putting much effort into praying or studying, but soon I had my assignment.

At the start of my mission, I struggled to feel the Spirit while training online during the pandemic because of my half-hearted effort. But then I got to the missionary training center in person. And my time there was the most spiritual experience of my life. It was the first time I had a simple seed of faith that was real.

Making a Change

Finally entering the mission field was hard. I felt like the small testimony I had gained got lost.

One day I was crying, and then a memory popped into my head. My dad used to ask me how my day at school was, and I would always say it was boring. And he would say, “Well, that’s because you made it boring. If you want school to be fun, make it fun.” I realized that I could either make the most of my time on my mission through learning and growth or I could be miserable.

So I prayed with more sincerity than ever to tell Heavenly Father that I was going to try and change my attitude. After that, I was motivated to put in new effort. I started to truly study and pray and ponder, and over time that glimmer of testimony came back—and continued to grow. I was less frustrated, and I started finding joy in the gospel.

What We Give Is What We Get

When you are frustrated with feeling like your faith isn’t growing, you might wonder if God is there and if He cares. But I’ve learned that He is always with us and will help us strengthen our faith and testimony if we take responsibility and put in effort (see Moroni 10:4).

Elder Robert D. Hales (1932–2017) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “While there seems to be no exact formula by which each of us receives a testimony, there does seem to be a discernable pattern.”¹ That pattern includes having a sincere desire to know the truth, praying, being willing to serve where we are called, striving to be obedient, studying the scriptures and applying them in our lives, and having an attitude of humility.

I was never going to strengthen my faith without changing my attitude, following this pattern, and putting my full heart into connecting with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. When I made those changes, I started to receive answers and believe truths.

Sister Rebecca L. Craven, Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, recently said: “Being a disciple of Jesus Christ involves more than just hoping or believing. … It requires that we do something.”² I have learned for myself that this is true: what I put into the gospel is what I get out.

For onlookers, my level of activity in the Church probably looks the same as it always has. But I’ve changed my commitment to the gospel in my heart. And that has made all the difference.

The author lives in Washington, USA.