Digital Only: Young Adults
Choosing Happiness
Because of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we can find joy even when life is hard.
I collect quotes. Not all of them are gospel related, but a lot of them are. There is a quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that I both love and feel a little apprehensive about:
“God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.”1
I’m typically a happy, optimistic person, but I also usually try to avoid having dreams of any kind because I’m afraid of the disappointment that follows unfulfilled dreams.
But when we do choose to pray, dream, and believe, the Lord can do wonderful things for us—even if they aren’t always what we expected.
Which reminds me that I have a choice.
And just like choosing to dream, praying about my dreams, and believing that the Lord wants what’s best for me and will help me get it, I know I can do as President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) encouraged: “Find joy in the journey—now.”2
So how can we choose happiness even while dealing with the challenges of life and all the horrible things happening in the world today? Here are some thoughts:
It’s OK to Not Be Happy All the Time
Choosing to find joy isn’t always all that simple. For example, struggling with mental illness can make it seem like being happy is difficult, if not impossible. There are times, even after doing everything in your power to be happy, when happiness still evades you.
And that’s OK. Life is hard, and we all experience challenges. Whether you’re dealing with health challenges, relationship struggles, addiction, losing a job, or your life not going how you thought it would, don’t feel guilty for not always being happy.
Regardless of our circumstances, it’s unrealistic to believe that we will be happy all of the time. In order to learn and grow in this life as we are intended to, we have to experience trials that may include sadness, disappointment, betrayal, doubt, heartache, anxiety, or other difficult things.
As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then the Second Counselor in the First Presidency, put it: “Adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.”3
Choosing happiness doesn’t mean never having a bad day or trying to smile through your tears. Like President Uchtdorf, I “am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn’t … an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach.”4
Rather, choosing happiness means finding the joy that is present and choosing to focus your attention on the happier things in life. Simple things like expressing gratitude for what we do have and amplifying the happiness that small things bring us can help us as we choose to be happy.
Focus on the Positive
Being optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the trials and tragedies in the world, either. Instead, optimism is looking for the good while still acknowledging the bad. While not every situation will be optimistic, optimism allows us to believe that we can look forward with faith in Jesus Christ, believing that things will get better and that He has blessings in store for us.
When we choose to be optimistic, we stand with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles when we say to ourselves as he has said:
“Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead ... It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.
“… Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”5
Choosing to be optimistic is an act of faith. As dark as the world or our lives can get, we can have hope for happiness in Christ and rely on the fact that “whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God” (Ether 12:4).
Joy Comes from and Because of Christ
As President Howard W. Hunter (1907–1995) has taught, “You have every reason in this world to be happy and to be optimistic.”6 Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be happy in this life.
At the end of the Book of Mormon, Moroni records the words of his father, Mormon. After describing the horrible events taking place among the Nephites and Lamanites, Mormon leaves Moroni with these words: “Be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, … and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever” (Moroni 9:25).
Despite how awful the world around them was, Mormon encouraged Moroni to seek happiness in Christ, and we can too. Remembering Jesus Christ gives us something to be happy about, even when mental illnesses and worldly troubles make it difficult to find joy. Remembering that Jesus Christ loves us, saved us, and is always willing to help us is uplifting and comforting.
President Russell M. Nelson has testified:
“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.
“When the focus of our lives is on … Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy. ... For Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ is joy!”7