2022
Of Cakes and Chaos
February 2022

Digital Only: Latter-day Dads

Of Cakes and Chaos

By David Dickson

Church Magazines

My wife’s birthday party was going to be my finest hour. Until it wasn’t.

Image
broken birthday cake

My daughters and I baked the cake. We frosted the cake! We even picked out some epic candles that said “Happy Birthday” on them—one letter per candle. We would present the cake in a scenic riverside picnic spot.

My wife’s birthday party was shaping up to be one my family would never forget. And, um, we certainly haven’t forgotten it.

When Frosting Met Wrapping

My wife, April, normally makes all the birthday cakes in our family, including her own (by her choice). This time, though, my girls and I wanted to step it up. As Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught, “We need to both express and demonstrate love.”1 We were ready to bring some razzle-dazzle.

The razzle-dazzle, however, got off to a bumpy start, as the cake came out of the oven dry and crumbly. No problem! That’s what extra frosting is for.

With all signs of dryness buried beneath the welcome folds of buttercream frosting, my daughters helped me encase the whole cake in plastic wrap so we could transport it. We would soon learn that this product happens to cling to everything it touches with the tenacity of an octopus in a death grip.

Once we were in our epic picnic spot, we presented the cake to April. I was proud of our fine work and how the night was coming together. It was time to remove the wrapping.

Much to our dismay, the plastic wrap turned octopus gashed out great swaths of perfection as it ripped loose huge slabs of frosting. And because we’d baked it dry, the cake itself crumbled freely once relieved of its frosting infrastructure.

That was about the time April lost her ability to suppress her first chuckle.

Plans Gone Awry? Just Add Heat!

Image
woman and children with birthday cake

Photograph courtesy of the author

The heat of the day started taking its own toll. The remaining frosting began to melt and slide off the cake. Naturally, this was the perfect time to add flames!

I hurriedly lit all 13 letter candles of “Happy Birthday.” Then I realized something: half-melted wax letters take on a decidedly creepy effect. That was not quite the birthday look we were going for.

By now, my wife’s chuckles had become all-out peals of laughter. And she got us all laughing along, despite the fiasco. One of my favorite family photos is of April laughing so hard at this train wreck of a cake that she almost appears to be in tears!

Silver Linings and Lessons Learned

As a husband and dad, I’ve made lots of goofy mistakes over the years while trying to create happy family memories. I’ve also learned some things along the way:

  1. You get points for trying. Nothing went according to plan on our cake, but my wife was still grateful for the attempt. President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, once taught, “When you keep trying, you are doing what Jesus does.”2

  2. Laughter helps. Laughter turned this whole mess around! It’s done the same for countless other situations that didn’t turn out as we planned. President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught, “Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.”3

  3. Perfection is not required. Though our cake resembled something that had danced inside a wood chipper, it still tasted great. Remember, in this life—even after our best efforts—perfection is still pending.4

  4. Time together is its own achievement. This is a lesson I’ve learned over and over. An activity can be elaborate or simple. It can go as planned or wildly askew. But as long as we’ve spent time together as a family, it’s a success. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time.”5

  5. Help is only a prayer away. A botched cake is a small thing. But many things in family life aren’t so insignificant. In large problems as well as small, I’ve found that prayer is always the best answer (see Alma 37:37). Whether it’s a quick prayer in the middle of a situation or a longer prayer later that night, I find answers as I commune with God. He wants me to succeed even more than I want to, and I’ve found His help to be invaluable!

Most likely, none of us ever fully manages to be the dad or husband we plan to be. Yet if we keep striving and turn to Heavenly Father for guidance in our journey, we’ll become the husband and father we need to be.

And that’s enough.