I have a friend who feels like she doesn’t have any friends at church except me. What can I do to help her?

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“I have a friend who feels like she doesn’t have any friends at church except me. What can I do to help her?” Liahona, August 2016, 58–59

Questions & Answers

“I have a friend who feels like she doesn’t have any friends at church except me. What can I do to help her?”

In this situation, she probably feels left out, lonely, or vulnerable. Fortunately, because of your friendship, there are several things you can do to encourage her:

  • Help her make friends with the other youth. Introduce her to them, include her in your conversations with them, and suggest activities for the youth in your ward to get to know each other better. Also, you could talk to your Young Women president so she and other leaders can help.

  • Help her recognize her divine worth. You could tell her some of the great qualities you see in her.

  • Help her remember the Savior’s love and your love. The Savior said, “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine” (John 10:14). Even if she feels like no one understands, the Lord will know exactly how she is feeling. Pray for her, and of course show your love for her by including her in activities and talking to her at church.

  • Suggest that she turn to the scriptures and prayer to strengthen her relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

  • Above all, encourage her to always attend church, even if it’s tough for her. Remind her of the importance of taking the sacrament and learning the gospel at Church meetings.

If your ideas aren’t working out immediately, continue to be there for your friend and encourage her to do the right things.

Be Stronger Together

Encourage and help her to approach other youth. Individually we are strong, but together we are stronger. Tell your friends that she will be better able to help the kingdom of God grow if she has more friends who will edify her, be a support in her life, and help her love Jesus Christ and His gospel!

Scarlet M., age 16, Cautín Province, Chile

Invite Her to Activities

When I joined the Church, I felt alone, though some of the youth made efforts to interact with me. I went to Mutual activities and got more involved in their conversations. I listened to them and gave my contribution. I smiled at them and showed genuine interest in them. My advice is to help your friend open up. Help her participate in any Church activity, and she will begin to enjoy the company of many friends.

Faith O., age 17, Abia, Nigeria

Include Her

I would try to help include your friend in conversations and activities with the other youth at church. Talking with other good friends about how this friend feels can help. Asking for their help to include her might bring awareness to other friends of this person’s needs and help them remember to be kinder and include her in conversations and activities.

Trevor C., age 14, Idaho, USA

Tell Her What She Means to You

I felt the same way when I changed wards. That stage is difficult. It is important to tell your friend how special she is, what she means to you, and the good qualities she has so that she will feel confident and that she doesn’t need to fear. We are all important. Encourage her to speak with a leader, pray, and read the scriptures to know that she is not alone.

Sharon G., age 14, Yucatán, Mexico

Host a Party

You or she could host a party with just a few people from church. It’s better to get to know others when it’s a smaller group.

Trais H., age 13, Idaho, USA

Be Ready to Help

You can help her understand that we are all members of God’s family, sisters and brothers, and that she needs to show love and interact with everyone. Also, let her know that in our large spiritual family, we are always ready to help and strengthen each other. We all share the same goal that we strive for. In the gospel, we are never alone.

Sister Anna Kaigorodova, Russia Moscow Mission

Listen to the Lord’s Guidance

Pray for her and ask Heavenly Father to help you know how you can help her. Talk to your leaders and try involving her in the conversations with the other girls at church. Continue to be her friend and do the best you can, and the Lord will help you know how to help her.

Anastasia B., age 18, Utah, USA

Tell Her She Is Never Alone

First, we would pray for that young woman and invite her to each activity or service project so that she can feel she is a part of the group. Let’s not let anyone fall! Second, we would tell her that she is never alone, that Heavenly Father is always with us and loves us deeply and eternally. We would remind her of the quote from our prophet: “You will one day stand aside and look at your difficult times, and you will realize that He was always there beside you” (Thomas S. Monson, “We Never Walk Alone,” Liahona, Nov. 2013, 124).

Yenifer S., age 18, and Fernando P., age 18, Tacuarembó, Uruguay