Looking Past Hurt Feelings
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“Looking Past Hurt Feelings,” Ensign, Oct. 1996, 72

Looking Past Hurt Feelings

The Savior involved himself in the lives of others—even when it hurt, even when they misunderstood him, even when they rejected him. His example has helped me overcome much of my shyness. With practice, it is getting easier for me to go about doing good, even to those who have offended me or seem to dislike me (see Acts 10:38; Matt. 5:43–48). It is hard to look past our own hurt feelings when people treat us unkindly. The following list of questions helps me to keep my perspective as I seek not to judge rashly but to be a peacemaker.

  1. Is what this person says true? Can I learn from this and improve myself—even if the person’s approach was unkind?

  2. Was the hurt intentional or unintentional?

  3. Are there extenuating circumstances that may have caused this person to act in an inconsiderate manner? For example, has he or she had a difficult day?

  4. Is it possible that this person hasn’t yet developed, through life experiences, the sensitivity and tact that usually come with time and maturity?

Following the Savior’s example, we find that he helps us to change our own perspective, our own self, or our ability to cope. When I’ve been hurt and want to avoid someone, I have to remind myself that following Christ means conquering pride and anger, apologizing, and being friendly and kind in spite of my feelings. I am reassured by the scriptures, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philip. 4:13).—Susan Ternyey, Salmon, Idaho

Illustrated by Kay Stevenson