Questions and Answers
What about the Challenges That Don’t Go Away?
Facing chronic illness has brought me closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in ways I never expected.
“There’s no cure, but we can try to manage the symptoms and talk about some options.”
I hardly register what the surgeon says. I’m still in the haze of anesthesia. The world slowly comes back into focus.
“Thank you,” I croak.
And truly, I am grateful! I had wondered if my chronic pain, which feels like being engulfed by a fiery inferno while simultaneously being stabbed by a thousand knives (slightly melodramatic, but you get the picture) was all in my head!
But here is the diagnosis I have been waiting seven years for: I have endometriosis, which, among other things:
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Causes infertility.
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Is an incredibly painful condition.
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Is, as my surgeon kindly reminded me, chronic and has no cure.
As the news sinks in, I finally allow a quiet sob to escape my lips. I’m not sure if I’m crying because of the post-surgery pain, the relief I feel at finally receiving a diagnosis, or this realization:
This illness is going to be a lifelong battle.
I know that Jesus Christ can heal us from our sorrow and help us overcome our challenges.
But what about the challenges that don’t go away?
Remember the Promises of the Gospel
I’m sure you can recall moments when you’ve felt heavy from the chronic ailments that make your life more difficult.
Whether you’re trying to heal from traumatic events, feeling the emptiness of grief for a lost loved one, suffering from an illness with no end in sight, feeling exhausted from caregiving, struggling to find an eternal companion, fighting a battle with mental health, being affected by addiction, dealing with infertility, or facing any other tiring difficulty, everyone has challenges in mortality—some that will be resolved in this life and others that won’t be until the next.
Trials are the gateway to becoming more refined throughout our lives. And I know this! But when I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses, it was so difficult to not be bitter.
In my mind, I could list off so many times that prophets and apostles had shared how living the gospel would bring us peace and joy. I knew that “in the eternities, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will resolve all unfairness,” as Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles testified.
But what about in the meantime?
It took me a while to find peace in my situation, but I remember a beautiful and life-changing message from President Jeffrey R. Holland, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, that shifted my mindset.
He said: “Faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed in our behalf. That can be difficult in our modern world when many have come to believe that the highest good in life is to avoid all suffering, that no one should ever anguish over anything. But that belief will never lead us to ‘the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ’ [Ephesians 4:13]”
That’s when it finally hit me: the gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t protect us from all pain. Rather, it gives us the courage, strength, and endurance to face that pain with support from our Savior.
President Russell M. Nelson boldly testified that “the Savior is never closer to you than when you are facing or climbing a mountain with faith.”
Chronic challenges feel like pretty steep mountains to me! So, with my beloved prophet’s words in mind, I started to consider how much these struggles were helping me become like and develop my relationship with my Savior.
The Blessing of Long-Suffering
As much as I’m striving to be like the Savior, that specific Christlike attribute of “long-suffering” is one I would prefer to avoid (see 1 Timothy 1:16). However, there’s more to this attribute than just suffering for a long, long time. To be long-suffering means to be patient and willing to endure hardships with kindness, joy, and love.
At first, this seemed like an impossible task. I felt like a victim with a body that was constantly betraying me. But as I have turned to the Savior and my Heavenly Father countless times throughout my good—and my bad—days, I truly have felt the truth of President Nelson’s promise that “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”
Focusing on the blessings of trials is not easy. In fact, I still struggle to be optimistic sometimes. But as I come closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father through prayer, temple worship, scripture study, and looking outside myself and serving others, I sometimes feel the miraculous ability to “submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15).
I truly have so much joy.
When I look at my chronic challenges through the lens of gratitude instead of bitterness, few things in my life allow me to get to know my Savior, to love and empathize with others, and to find purpose in my life more.
Because that’s what the Savior offers us: impossible miracles.
Strength in Christ
In that moment when I first woke up from that diagnostic surgery, I remember calling out to my Heavenly Father and asking Him, “Why is this happening to me? I have tried to keep the commandments, so how am I supposed to feel joy when I often feel like I’m being torn apart from the inside out?”
In response, I felt the Spirit remind me of one of my favorite scriptures:
“Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8).
And that was the key word: endure. Yes, some challenges might be lifelong battles. On my own, I probably won’t prevail. But as the prophet Ammon reminds us, “Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:12).
I’m not alone in this arena of chronic challenges. None of us are.
President Holland also said: “When will these burdens be lifted? The answer is ‘by and by’ [Alma 32:42]. And whether that be a short period or a long one is not always ours to say, but by the grace of God, the blessings will come to those who hold fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ. That issue was settled in a very private garden and on a very public hill in Jerusalem long ago.”
Whatever chronic challenges are making your life more complex, remember that the Savior’s “grace is sufficient for thee” (2 Corinthians 12:9). When we don’t have the energy, the patience, or the courage to keep going, His enabling power will always shine through to help us change our perspective, look outside ourselves, and endure with faith, courage, comfort, and miraculous strength.