WOE vs. JOY: Pick the System That’s Right for You
    Footnotes
    Theme

    “WOE vs. JOY: Pick the System That’s Right for You,” New Era, September 2016, 24–25

    WOE vs. JOY: Pick the System That’s Right for You

    Check out the features and reviews. Then decide which system will serve you best.

    New Era Magazine, 2016/09 Sep

    You’re here on a mission: to follow Heavenly Father’s plan so that you can become more like Him and live in an eternal family in the celestial kingdom—in other words, to receive a fulness of joy.

    It all comes down to which system you choose to navigate your life with: the JOY system or the WOE4U system. Compare their features and user reviews and see which is more appealing to you.

    WOE4U System

    From Mass Industries Systems Enterprises Reaching Youth

    “Join us. We love company.”

    (See remote at right)

    Lie selection

    Little white

    Bald-faced

    Whopper

    Lie adjustment control

    Cheating selection

    Plagiarism

    Copying friend’s work

    Using phone during test

    Temptations

    Pornography

    Alcohol

    Drugs

    Tobacco

    More options

    Just once (free trial)

    Regular habit (pay)

    Addicted (extended contract)

    Guilt Overlays

    Amusing distraction

    Numbing of senses

    Addiction

    Self-Deception Inputs

    Rationalization

    Justification

    Blame

    Giving up on myself

    InstantGratification

    Reviews

    ★★ by gimmenow The instant gratification button worked great—for about two minutes! It got less and less reliable.

    ★ by greenergrass The ad said this has the quality of JOY, only cheaper and easier. False! It always broke down.

    ★★ by thataintright “Just once” almost always skipped to the next level so you started paying for it right away.

    ★ by iheartjoy Do yourself a favor—stick with JOY. This one costs more, long-term, and is a bad experience.

    ★ by morris_les At first, I thought, “Cool! Way more options.” But the “options” took me down a rabbit hole of complex and time-consuming choices. I spent half my time fiddling with the Lie Adjustment Control just to keep up with all the variations necessary. What a waste!

    ★ by whoathere I thought guilt management would be an innovation. What hyped-up rubbish! The Guilt Overlays and Self-Deception Inputs degraded over time. And they didn’t get rid of the guilt.

    ★ by lemmego Many of the features are designed to get you to sign up for an extended contract so that you’d be locked into this system for good. A massive nothingburger of a system.

    ★★ by hope_goodwin It made the picture look fuzzy, so I read the fine print in the warranty—basically nothing’s covered. And the customer service was rude and insulting, but they seemed so cool that I wanted them to like me even though they made me feel bad about myself.

    ★ by not4saken This system acts more like a virus or a Trojan horse. Luckily you can reset everything and delete all of the malicious code by following the steps in the JOY system’s Repent option.

    JOY System

    From Personal Elevation and Cleansing Endeavors

    “We glory in plainness. We glory in truth.”

    (See remote at right)

    Have Faith

    Receive Ordinances

    Keep the Commandments

    Do Good Works

    Repent

    Forward

    Reviews

    ★★★★★ by riverofpeace It works. It just works

    ★★★★★ by joyfan14 It seems too simple sometimes, but that’s exactly why it works so well.

    ★★★★★ by ic_sharp The picture is always clear.

    ★★★★★ by tookamulligan Even when I commit a user error, customer service never makes me feel stupid. They’re always helpful and friendly, and they always make me feel good about myself.

    ★★★★★ by needforfreed At first I thought the options were too limiting, but then I realized that they actually allowed me greater freedom as I continued to use it and was able to customize my experience with the Have Faith and Do Good Works features.

    ★★★★★ by annette_positive You have to put forth some effort to get the most out of this system, but that’s a good thing. It leaves the control in your hands and offers you guidance. Pretty soon you realize just how powerful this thing is. Truly amazing.

    ★★★★★ by howie_lovegood I once tried to add the WOE4U system because I believed all the hype about its being easier and cooler, but it caused me all kinds of problems. Good thing the Repent option is always available, even when you’ve messed things up badly. It may take a little effort and patience, but it always works.

    ★★★★★ by rock_steadman I love to press Forward! It helps you skip all of the garbage and move on to good stuff.

    So, as a discerning customer, which system do you think will help you be happier? Which will help you reach your highest potential?

    It’s no contest, really. You don’t even have to try the WOE4U system to know it’s not going to work. Go for the JOY, all the way.