Should I tell others about my sexual orientation, or “come out”?

There is no single right answer to this question. For some people, keeping feelings of same-sex attraction private can result in shame or negative self-talk; therefore, sharing these feelings with a trusted confidant can be liberating and healing. Some people, however, wish they had waited longer to come out or limited the number of people to whom they disclosed their feelings.

Your decision shouldn’t be based on yielding to pressure to “come out” publicly or to openly identify as gay. It also shouldn’t be based on feelings of shame or wanting to hide.

If you decide to share with someone your feelings of same-sex attraction, prayerfully consider whom to tell and how to best share this part of what you’re experiencing. Be open to hearing their feelings about your experience as well. They may want to express their thoughts or need time to process; be patient with them.

If you decide to share that you experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, you should be treated with kindness and respect, both at home and at church.