Physical and Emotional Health: Lesson 186

Resolving Feelings of Anger

Responding to Anger by Following the Savior

It is normal to experience feelings of anger. Although we may not be able to control situations that cause us to feel angry, we can decide how we respond. As we look to Jesus Christ, He can help us respond as He would. This lesson can help students follow the example of Jesus Christ when experiencing feelings of anger.

Student preparation: Invite students to list situations where they might be tempted to respond with anger. They could also evaluate how often they get angry and how they manage these feelings.

Possible Learning Activities

Built-up pressure

Consider displaying the following image on the board or bringing an unopened can of soda to class. As you discuss the following question, you could shake the can, but do not open it.

• What happens inside an unopened soda can if you repeatedly shake it? What would happen if you open it?

Consider displaying the following image. If you brought a can and shook it up, do not open it; you can continue to display it throughout the lesson.

• What are some ways you can relate this example to feeling anger?

If students need help, you could explain that the can could represent us, and the soda could represent our emotions. The shaking of the can could reflect actions, situations, or interactions that can lead to built-up pressure (angry feelings) inside us.

Everyone experiences anger. Just as it is normal for the pressure to increase inside a shaken soda can, it is normal for us to experience angry feelings. Yet we can choose how we respond to these feelings.

Ponder the following questions:

• On a scale of 1 to 5 (1=low; 5=high), how often do you get angry? How might others rate how frequently you get angry?

• What is your most frequent response when angry feelings come?

As you study today, seek guidance from the Holy Ghost to help you learn how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help you manage feelings of anger.

Consequences of acting on anger

For a scriptural example of the consequences of anger, consider discussing the account of Esau in Genesis 27. If students have already studied this story in Lesson 30: “Genesis 25–27,” you could use a different story, such as the story of Cain (see Moses 5:21–23, 26–27, 32) or Asa (see 2 Chronicles 16:7–13).

To help students understand the story of Esau, consider displaying the following picture and inviting students to share what they know about him. Then read or summarize the following paragraph. Or you could show “Jacob and Esau” (time code 1:10 to 1:53) from ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

Isaac and Rebekah had twin boys, Esau and Jacob. As the oldest, Esau was entitled to his father’s birthright blessing. The birthright would mean Esau would inherit his father’s possessions and become the family’s provider and spiritual leader. Because of Esau’s unrighteous actions (see Genesis 25:31–34; 26:34–35), Jacob was given the birthright blessing instead (see Genesis 27:1–33).

Read Genesis 27:41–45, looking for how Esau responded when he learned that his father gave Jacob the birthright blessing.

• What was the result of Esau’s anger?

• What other consequences could someone experience from acting in anger?

It may be helpful to explain that the two brothers were separated for 20 years until they eventually reconciled (see Genesis 33:4).

The Savior’s example

Consider organizing students into pairs, with each student reading one of the below passages. Afterward, each pair could discuss how it would answer the question below.

Read the following, looking for what you learn about responding to feelings of anger:

Psalm 103:8

Proverbs 16:32

• How would you summarize what we can learn about dealing with anger?

  Help students identify a truth such as: When we are slow to anger, we follow the Lord’s example.

• What does it mean to you to be slow to anger?

Think of an example when Jesus was slow to anger.

If students need help, you could refer them to examples such as the following:

• Luke 9:51–56 (Jesus was rejected by a Samaritan village.)

• Luke 23:8–11 (Jesus was questioned by Herod.)

• John 19:3–12 (Jesus was arrested.)

• How could it help someone to see how Jesus responded in these situations?

Steps to manage anger

This portion of the lesson can help students practice the following steps for managing feelings of anger:

1. Recognize what sparked the angry feelings.

2. Identify underlying emotions.

3. Select cool-down strategies.

To help students learn to manage anger as a disciple of Jesus Christ, distribute the handout “Steps to Managing Anger.” Since the handout asks some personal questions, students could complete it individually. Or they could work in pairs, occasionally pausing to complete the individual questions.

Conclusion

After students have completed the handout, consider asking the following discussion questions as time permits:

• What did you learn today that could help someone who struggles with managing their anger?

• What experiences have you or others had with managing anger in a Christlike way?

Some students may feel it is impossible for them not to lose their temper. Consider closing by inviting them to read Ether 12:27, looking for how Jesus Christ can help someone who struggles with any weakness. Testify that because of His Atonement, Jesus Christ can turn our weaknesses into strengths—including managing our anger.

Additional Resources

Why is it important to control my anger?

Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

[I]f we want the Spirit of the Lord to be unrestrained in our lives, we simply cannot and must not have unkind feelings toward anyone. Giving place in our hearts or minds for unkind feelings or thoughts will produce unkind words and actions, whether on social media or in our homes, causing the Spirit of the Lord to withdraw from our hearts. (“Covenant Confidence through Jesus Christ,” Liahona, May 2024, 21) (time code 12:50 to 13:21)

Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy taught:

Anger is a yielding to Satan’s influence by surrendering our self-control. It is the thought-sin that leads to hostile feelings or behavior. It is the detonator of road rage on the freeway, flare-ups in the sports arena, and domestic violence in homes.

Unchecked, anger can quickly trigger an explosion of cruel words and other forms of emotional abuse that can scar a tender heart. It is “that which cometh out of the mouth,” the Savior said; “this defileth a man” (Matt. 15:11). (“Agency and Anger,” Ensign, May 1998, 81) (time code 5:01 to 5:35)

Can someone make me angry?

President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) taught:

To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. I testify that such is possible. (“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 67) (time code 8:34 to 8:57)

What are ways that anger can manifest itself?

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then of the First Presidency, counseled:

[W]hen it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt. …

My dear brothers and sisters, consider the following questions as a self-test:

Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?

Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?

Do you secretly envy another?

Do you wish to cause harm to someone?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it! (“The Merciful Obtain Mercy,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 70, 76)

When acting in anger is condemned by the Lord, why do the scriptures often refer to God’s anger?

Throughout the Old Testament, we read about the anger, wrath and indignation of the Lord (see Exodus 4:14; Deuteronomy 1:37; 4:25; 9:18; Psalm 85:4; Isaiah 48:9; 65:3; Jeremiah 8:19; 32:30). Reading about descriptions of God’s anger may be confusing and lead to misunderstanding about the scriptures or the character of God. President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency explained that God’s anger is evidence of His love:

“We read again and again in the Bible and in modern scriptures of God’s anger with the wicked and of His acting in His wrath against those who violate His laws. How are anger and wrath evidence of His love? Joseph Smith taught that God ‘institute[d] laws whereby [the spirits that He would send into the world] could have a privilege to advance like himself’ [Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (2007), 210]. God’s love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He knows that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God’s anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love but an evidence of His love.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Love and Law,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 27) (time code 4:30 to 5:22)

Supplemental Learning Activities

We can control how we respond to anger

To help students understand that they can control how they respond to angry feelings, consider asking them the following question:

• What are some excuses people might use to justify acting out in anger?

Students may respond with answers such as: “That’s just how I am,” “I couldn’t help myself,” “He made me angry,” and so on.

You could then show the video “Peacemakers Needed,” from time code 0:23 to 1:48, in which President Nelson spoke of a surgeon who lost his temper. Or you could show “Agency and Anger,” from time code 2:50 to 3:28, showing Elder Robbins talking about a high school basketball player who learned how to control his temper.

Help students see that how we respond to angry feelings is a choice and we can use our agency to act appropriately.

• When have you chosen to respond to angry feelings appropriately?

• What tools help you to respond well to your anger?

• Why might turning to the Savior be the most powerful tool against anger? (If students need help answering this question, you could refer them to Ether 12:27 or Alma 7:12.)

Self-evaluation

To help students evaluate possible feelings of anger they may have, you could use President Uchtdorf’s statement in Additional Resources. Students could ponder how they would respond to each of his questions.

Suggestions for overcoming feelings of anger

For additional skills for overcoming feelings of anger, consider inviting students to search through the suggestions found in chapter 3 of the manual “Adjusting to Service Missionary Life: Resource Booklet.” Students could choose one or two suggestions they would like to focus on.