From YA Weekly
What If the Life We Want to Live Isn’t Working Out?
Life can bring the unexpected, but God’s promises are eternal.
Imagine the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself. Maybe it includes your dream job, a perfect spouse, angelic children, a beautiful house, excellent grades, and strolling along the covenant path without a worry in the world.
Now think about the life you’re currently living.
Is it different than you always expected? Are things not going as planned?
Same, friend. Same.
Some blessings I’ve consistently asked for are still in Heavenly Father’s hands, and that’s how life goes sometimes. We can desire even the most righteous blessings, but they don’t always come when or how we expect.
So what do we do when life isn’t going as expected?
Ambiguous Grief
I recently learned about a concept called ambiguous grief—acknowledging that our expectations for life won’t always pan out. We can keep our covenants and receive eternal promises, but mortality can be just as messy as it is fulfilling. It’s not supposed to be absolutely blissful and perfect.
I think of Eve. When she and Adam lived in the paradise that was the Garden of Eden, there were no worries. No fear. No sickness. No grief. No joy.
No progress.
When Eve and Adam partook of the forbidden fruit, their lives changed. They had to live a life different than the one they had always known. They took a harsher, more difficult—yet more fulfilling—path.
However, after entering the lone and dreary world, Eve later testified, “Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” (Moses 5:11).
Before we came to earth, we were taught that mortality would include opposition, sin, and struggles. But we knew a Savior would be provided for us, so we knew life would be worth living. This is such a comfort to me when life brings unexpected plot twists.
There may be circumstances that you long for or blessings that you wish you could have right now. And it’s OK to grieve those things that haven’t come your way yet. However, don’t let that stop you from seeing the goodness in front of you.
Even if life’s not exactly what we envisioned, like Eve, we can choose faith, keep our covenants, trust eternal promises, and embrace the beautiful life God is helping us create.
Remember: There May Be Stops Along the Way
Growing up in the Church, I always saw the covenant path as a series of events—faith, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost, repentance, endowment, sealing, and enduring to the end.
Easy-peasy.
I anticipated these spiritual steps to come in my life with few detours or stoplights. I think a lot of us expect this for ourselves.
So when we are living our lives according to the gospel and find ourselves waiting longer for marriage than anticipated, facing the aftermath of divorce, experiencing infertility, losing jobs, or struggling with faith, it’s easy to feel frustration, bitterness, confusion, complacency, betrayal, or resentment.
When I feel this way, I think of this counsel from Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “We must ask ourselves: Is my testimony based on what I hope to happen in my life? Is it dependent on the actions or attitudes of others? Or is it firmly founded on Jesus Christ, ‘rooted and built up in him’ [Colossians 2:7], regardless of life’s changing circumstances?”
Living a life different from what we imagined doesn’t mean we should stop following the covenant path. It doesn’t mean God is cruel and uncaring. It doesn’t mean all is lost.
The reality is this: God is good. His gospel is perfect.
Mortality, however, is not. The covenant path is straight, but there may be many stops along the way. Some blessings may not always line up right when we want them.
What matters is that we choose to stay on the path, ready to receive those blessings when they do come. Because God’s promises are real.
And they will come as we stay true to our covenants and keep our faith rooted in our Savior.
Make Faith Your Most Powerful Ally
Elder Uchtdorf continued: “Faith is beautiful because it persists even when blessings don’t come as hoped for. We can’t see the future, we don’t know all the answers, but we can trust Jesus Christ as we keep moving forward and upward because He is our Savior and Redeemer.”
Whatever you’re facing or waiting for, take a moment to faithfully notice small acts of love from Heavenly Father. That’s where you’ll see His hand helping you, slowly but surely, create the joyful life He wants for you.
I know that no matter what blessings come or don’t come in my mortal life, the gospel is a gospel of hope and eternal promises. Holding on to my faith brings me peace, joy, and reassurance. When I’m aligned with Heavenly Father, things may not be going as planned, but He sees the bigger picture and reminds me that I’m right where He needs me to be.
I believe He will do the same for you.