The Lord’s Timing

    “The Lord’s Timing,” Ensign, June 2001, 65–66

    The Lord’s Timing

    As a wife and mother active in the Church and in the community, I had more than enough to keep me busy. In addition to caring for four young children, I was volunteering at school, fulfilling a very time-consuming Church calling, and working on various other projects. My schedule allowed for few if any disruptions.

    Then in mid-July I unexpectedly learned that I was going to have another baby. Preoccupied as I was with my pursuits, a feeling of love for this unborn child did not readily come. Instead there was unacceptance. Having another baby did not fit in with my schedule or plans. And though I asked Heavenly Father to help me grow to love this new child, I allowed little to change in my life.

    When the baby was 25 weeks along, an ultrasound gave some disturbing news. I had a history of giving birth to small babies, but this baby was not just small; it was behind a full month in growth. I was told to cut down on my activities so that the baby would have a chance to grow. The plan was made to take the baby early by cesarean section, but it must be mature enough first.

    Suddenly my life came to a standstill. I was in anguish over the baby and the thought that I might lose it or that it might have severe disabilities from being born early. My prayers also changed abruptly. I was heartsick over the unaccepting attitude I had had toward this pregnancy. I prayed for forgiveness, and with all the energy of my soul I prayed for the well-being of my unborn child. Suddenly many things on my schedule that had seemed so important did not have the same priority.

    When the baby’s development continued to be slow, I was required to rest even more. My husband took on many domestic duties, and Relief Society sisters stepped in to assist us. My prayers for the baby became almost constant. I had rarely felt it move, and one night this became too much for me to bear. I fervently prayed to feel a real kick. Ten minutes later I received a series of the only strong kicks I felt during the entire pregnancy. Tears fell down my face as I said a prayer of thanks.

    Finally, my condition and the baby’s reached a point where birth could be delayed no longer. In mid-December, two and a half months early, our baby girl was delivered by C-section. She weighed one pound, eight ounces. A priesthood blessing and a ward fast strengthened my hope that she might live.

    Not only did she live, but she astounded us and the doctors by thriving. No complications occurred. With the aid of only a well-equipped incubator and an ordinary IV, our little girl, whom we named Celeste, slowly started growing. Within two months she weighed four pounds, and we were able to bring her home.

    I have tried to never again question my Heavenly Father’s wisdom or timing in sending blessings. I have also learned the importance of prayerfully setting priorities and asking for the Lord’s help in balancing my schedule. And I have learned that love is a natural outgrowth of sacrifice and earnest prayer for another person. I cannot look at Celeste without feeling love for her and thankfulness to my Father in Heaven.