Asking with My Heart

    “Asking with My Heart,” Ensign, June 2001, 66

    Asking with My Heart

    All my life I had been a poor follower of my parents’ religion. I had benefited from their example of honesty, hard work, high moral values, and healthy living. But they had allowed their children to make their own decisions regarding religion, and I chose not to develop my spirituality. Instead, I elected to train my mind in the rigorous application of the scientific method. I became a biologist. But instead of taking me farther from God, my profession drew me closer. What I learned convinced me that the marvelous and intricate system of life on earth could not have happened by chance. Only a supreme intelligence—God—could have planned and created such wonderful entities as inhabit this planet.

    Perhaps it was because of this conviction that I agreed to meet with the missionaries when we encountered one another. At the time, I was 58 years old, retired, and living in Costa Rica. We met for several discussions. Then the missionaries invited me to be baptized. I had enjoyed our discussions and, more to be courteous than out of any great desire to be baptized, I accepted their invitation.

    Afterward, I began to experience doubts. As I had always done in the past, I tried to resolve them by seeking a rational explanation for everything I had been taught. Two weeks went by, and my efforts to understand the gospel from a purely rational point of view led me only deeper and deeper into indecision.

    One day, troubled by my doubts and lack of faith, I found myself kneeling in prayer. Something inside prompted me to ask with my heart, not my head. Words started flowing from my mouth with an ease I had never experienced before. I must have remained on my knees for a long time. Finally I became tired and went to bed.

    The following day, 14 June 1992, was the date set for my baptism. I woke up early and once again felt the desire to pray. I prayed sincerely, asking for our Father in Heaven’s help, but I still couldn’t calm down. I was agitated and filled with doubts. I was about to call the missionaries to cancel my baptism when I was impressed to search the Bible. For some reason, I felt sure I would find my answer there.

    I opened my Bible and started to read chapter 3 of Matthew, which tells of John the Baptist and the baptism of Jesus Christ. As I read the first few lines, my heart swelled with a great joy. In that instant, everything became clear to me and my doubts disappeared. I joyfully made my way to the meetinghouse and was baptized.

    Since then, I have been amazed at the transformation in my life. I now understand concepts I could not understand before. This “spirit of revelation,” which touches both mind and heart (see D&C 8:2–3), has taught me why we are on earth and why Jesus Christ atoned for our sins. I have felt His infinite love, and I desire to so live that I might receive from Him the gift of eternal life.