How to Interact with Difficult People at Work
Work can be hard enough without the increased stress of working with someone who seems irrational or upset. We might be tempted to just avoid difficult people, but it’s better to learn how to work with them.
Even though we are children of God, we’re still learning in this life; after all, that’s why we’re here. Although we’re drawn to people who understand us and are easy to be with and work with, we sometimes need to work with people who don’t get along with us as well as we wish they would.
When you’re working with a difficult person, remember these tips for improving the situation.
1. Stay calm.
Remember that you don’t need to respond by getting upset. Focus on the person’s concern. Don’t act in a way that the person might find condescending; for example, smiling in a way that seems like you’re mocking them. Instead, give them some space if you can.
2. Listen.
Be sure to listen to the person’s concerns. Focus on what he or she is saying and not on what you are going to say next. Often an upset or angry person is working through difficult emotions.
3. Don’t judge.
Even when people are being difficult, remember that they have real feelings. They may act out because they feel misunderstood or excluded, or because they feel like they don’t measure up to others around them. Their vulnerabilities may be at the root of their irrational behavior.
4. Try to understand the other person’s motivations and needs.
When you try to understand someone’s motivations and needs, you help them feel safe to express their feelings.
5. Apologize.
Apologizing doesn’t have to happen only when you have done something wrong. For example, if you are dealing with a coworker who feels misunderstood or ignored in the workplace, you could say something like, “I’m sorry you feel like nobody listens to you.” Apologizing in this way will help you open the door to a conversation about fixing problems together. Remember that we are social creatures: we need each other. Sometimes a difficult person just needs to know that they have allies in the workplace.
When it comes to reducing conflict at work, it may also be useful to change your own behavior if necessary. For example, if you know that a messy workplace upsets you, take the time to express your feelings to your coworkers, and ask for their help in keeping the workplace clean. We are all God’s children, and we’re all learning to be like Him. We have to be patient with each other along the way.