The Dignity and Demeanor of Discipleship

While my husband and I served as mission leaders in North Carolina, USA, we traveled by plane to a mission leadership conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Our seats were not in first class, but we were stopped in the aisle next to a woman who was.

I couldn’t help but overhear her loud and frantic cell phone conversation with someone she obviously trusted. It went something like this:

“You know how scared I am to fly. What if something happens to the plane?”

She listened to the person on the other side of the conversation and then responded: “I mean it! I am so nervous. Wait a minute. Jesus Christ is standing right next to me! I’m going to be OK!”

What she saw was my missionary badge, which displayed the name of Jesus Christ in bold letters.

She belted out: “I’m not kidding. It says ‘Jesus Christ’ right on her chest! Everything is going to be all right!”

She obviously knew that I was not Jesus Christ! But we both laughed for a second, and she relaxed. The line moved forward, and we went to our seats—in the back of the plane.

I was still chuckling as I settled into my seat. And then this question came into my mind: if I had not been wearing my missionary badge, would she have recognized me as a disciple of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? I pondered that question the entire flight. And I continue to ask myself that question often.

The Dignity and Demeanor of Discipleship

You may be familiar with the story of the young prince who was denied the knowledge of his royalty. When he was a baby, his parents, the king and queen, placed him in the care of a peasant family in an effort for the prince to grow up to someday be a king who understood the life and needs of his people. He eventually grew to the age when the kingdom would be conferred upon him. But he knew nothing about being a king or about the responsibilities that lay ahead. He had lost the vision of who he was and his ultimate potential.

We too are heirs to a kingdom—the kingdom of God. Knowing who we are gives us a vision of what we can become. When we remember this important truth about ourselves, it dictates our thoughts and actions. Shouldn’t knowing that divinity dwells within us be reflected in our daily walk, talk, and countenance? Because when we know who we are, we act differently.

In a world filled with labels and titles, we must constantly remind ourselves that the only labels that really matter are those associated with family: daughter, son, brother, sister, mother, father, and so on. Remembering our celestial parentage gives us courage and confidence to stand against dangerous decoys that may lead us to think less about ourselves or less about those around us.

One of the primary purposes of our life on earth is to strive to become more like our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The more we take upon ourselves Their dignified characteristics, the more comfortable we will be in Their presence and the better able we will be to hear the promptings of the Spirit.

The Language of Discipleship

Have you ever had a first impression of someone that immediately changed when they opened their mouth and started to speak? I’m not talking about accents or poor grammar. I’m talking about the words they use or what they talk about. My favorite quote about language comes from a sixteenth-century English poet and playwright named Ben Jonson:

“Language most shows a man: Speak, that I may see thee. It springs out of the most retired and inmost parts of us, and is the image of the parent of it, the mind. No glass renders a man’s form or likeness so true as his speech.”¹

Have you found this to be true? We can look the part of a clean and modest disciple of Jesus Christ, but does our language reflect His image in our verbal countenance?

My heart is pierced each time I hear the Lord’s name used in an irreverent or vain way (see Exodus 20:7). Vain, in this case, means to be pointless, empty, or without effect. It is speaking His name without purpose, which in my mind includes substitute words or acronyms that are “like unto it” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:6). Considering the magnitude of His love and His sacrifice for us, I cannot fathom speaking His name with anything but reverence.

The Lord Himself declared His holy identity and warned how His name should be used:

“Behold, I am Alpha and Omega, even Jesus Christ.

“Wherefore, let all men beware how they take my name in their lips—

“For behold, verily I say, that many there be who are under this condemnation, who use the name of the Lord, and use it in vain. …

“Remember that that which cometh from above is sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit” (Doctrine and Covenants 63:60–62, 64).

Dignity in speech is not just the words we use. It is also what we talk about. Can we laugh and have fun? Of course! But not at the expense of hurting another. We can be lighthearted without being light-minded, which is defined as being inconsiderate and using “inappropriate levity.”²

I am always uncomfortable when I hear someone talking negatively about one of God’s children, who are literally our brothers and sisters. With plenty of negative forces in the world tearing people down, we can be the counterforce to this type of marring.

As covenant-making disciples of Jesus Christ, we are in the spiritual business of building: Building character. Building each other up. Building a Zion society with the desire to love God and our neighbor.

Integrity in Discipleship

My husband successfully stretched three years of schooling at BYU into five, so you can imagine how thrilled we were when he finally graduated and got a real job in Texas. We were surprised when a coworker suggested that he should not wear his wedding ring in certain settings with young professionals because it might limit his opportunities for success. The deception behind this thought was distasteful and countered everything we had worked for in our celestial marriage. Needless to say, Ron never left our little apartment without wearing his wedding ring!

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “Integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences.”³

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching. But we sometimes forget that someone is always watching. Heavenly Father always knows our thoughts and actions, even when we fail to remember that He is there.

In this digital and social media world, it can be especially easy to misrepresent facts or even ourselves. Being honest not only in what we say and do but also in the perceptions we convey increases our sensitivity to the Spirit. And in a world filled with alternate voices, we need the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost to help us distinguish between truth and error.

I have heard people state that they occasionally lower their standards to be relatable or empathetic to another person. Certainly the Savior reached down to look into the eyes of another person, but He never stayed there. He never changed His standards or principles in an effort to be a relatable friend. He always took them by the hand and brought them up to where He was standing. He raised them up and left them better than they previously were.

In our quest to be true disciples of our Savior, Jesus Christ, I invite you to consider those things that might strangle your light. What habits can you shed that will allow your light to shine in a way that you unmistakably stand as a witness “of God at all times and in all things, and in all places”? (Mosiah 18:9).

Standing as a witness of God means standing out. There is always a right way to do the right thing. I testify that we are sons and daughters of exalted heavenly parents. Knowing our identity fortifies us against our culture of comparing, complaining, and criticizing.

As we consistently strive for refinement in our dignity and demeanor as disciples of Jesus Christ, our confidence will “wax strong in the presence of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45). And we will be blessed with an abundance of the Spirit, with personal revelation, and with an increased love of God and our neighbors.

Notes

1. Ben Jonson, Timber: Or, Discoveries Made upon Men and Matter (1641), 120; spelling, punctuation, and capitalization modernized.
2. Dictionary.net, “light-minded,” dictionary.net.
3. Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Personal Integrity,” Ensign, May 1990, 30.