Prepare your mind and heart to learn. Be ready to take notes and mark scriptures to help you preserve personal insights and lessons you learn.
Begin your study with prayer.
How can we repent and correct our behavior when we have hurt someone?
Listen to Elder Juan A. Uceda of the Seventy relate what was done to mend the relationship between a father and a daughter. You can read the text for this video here: “He Teaches Us to Put Off the Natural Man,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 53.
Relationships
President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) told a story of two brothers who were angry with each other. Pay attention to what the brothers chose to do and how it affected their relationship. You can read the text for this video here: “School Thy Feelings, O My Brother,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 68–69.
As you study about Jacob and Esau’s relationship in Genesis 33, look for principles that can help us restore peace to troubled relationships.
In Genesis 32 we learned that Jacob was worried about reuniting with Esau and so he prepared a generous gift for his brother. It included many flocks and herds of animals. Jacob feared what Esau might do to him and his family because 20 years earlier Esau had threatened to kill Jacob (see Genesis 27:41–43).
In Genesis 33:1–11 we learn that Jacob prepared to meet his brother with his family and his generous offering. Read Genesis 33:3–11, looking for the efforts Jacob made to restore peace to his relationship with Esau.
Quiz 1
What did Jacob do to restore peace to his relationship with Esau?
He bowed to Esau to show humility.
He offered Esau a generous gift.
He praised Esau for receiving him.
He dressed in sackcloth and ashes to mourn the past.
A principle that can be identified from Jacob’s example in Genesis 33:1–11 is that if we make the effort to settle conflicts in the Lord’s way, then we can help restore peace to troubled relationships.
Sometimes it can be very hard to settle conflicts in troubled relationships, but it is possible.
1. Please answer the following questions:
How could someone follow Jacob’s example to repair damaged relationships?
When have you seen peace restored to a relationship because someone made an effort to settle a conflict?
We can also learn from Esau’s example in Genesis 33:1–11. By running to meet Jacob, embracing him, and weeping with him, Esau showed that he had overcome his hatred and that he had forgiven Jacob (see verse 4).
What principle can we learn from Esau’s example about restoring peace in troubled relationships?
The Blessings of Overcoming Hatred
One principle we can learn from Esau’s example in Genesis 33:1–11 is that if we overcome hatred and forgive others, then we can help restore peace to troubled relationships.
Read the following statement by Elder Marion D. Hanks (1921–2011) of the Seventy. What are some reasons that we need to overcome hatred or resentment when we feel others have wronged us?
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Marion D. Hanks
“What is our response when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? Do we resent, become bitter, hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem if we can, forgive, and rid ourselves of the burden?
“The nature of our response to such situations may well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and eternally. …
“… Even if it appears that another may be deserving of our resentment or hatred, none of us can afford to pay the price of resenting or hating, because of what it does to us” (Marion D. Hanks, “Forgiveness: The Ultimate Form of Love,” Ensign, Jan. 1974, 20, 21).
The Lord has taught that we are required to forgive and warned that it is a sin to not forgive (see D&C 64:9–11).
2. Please answer one or more of the following questions:
What role does the Savior have in helping us to forgive others and heal relationships?
What are some ways to overcome hatred and forgive?
What could you do to overcome hatred or resentment you might feel toward someone and forgive him or her?
Consider taking a moment to write a response in your Notes on LDS.org or in a personal journal.
Love and Lust
Before reading Genesis 34, it is important to understand the difference between love and lust. Read the following statement by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who clarified some key differences.
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Jeffrey R. Holland
“Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2010, 45).
As you think about what you learned from Elder Holland, how would you describe what lust is?
Sometimes people claim that they truly love someone when their motives are actually driven by lust. This was true of Shechem, who lusted after Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah. Read Genesis 34:1–3, looking for evidence of lust.
Even though Shechem claimed that he loved Dinah, what did he do that showed that he lusted after her rather than truly loved her?
Shechem violated and dishonored Dinah by forcing her to engage in sexual relations with him. From Genesis 34:1–3, we can identify the principle that lusting after others shows a lack of love and respect for them. This can lead to committing very serious sins.
Read the following statement found in the For the Strength of Youth booklet under the topic “Sexual Purity.” Look for what we are instructed to do to avoid lusting after others.
“Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. …
“… Do not participate in discussions or any media that arouse sexual feelings. Do not participate in any type of pornography” (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2011], 36).
In Genesis 34:4–31 we learn that Shechem told his father, Hamor, that he wanted to marry Dinah. Shechem’s father approached Jacob and proposed that Dinah be allowed to marry Shechem. The sons of Jacob were angry about what Shechem had done and deceitfully suggested that they should agree to the proposed arrangement only if all of the men in Shechem’s city agreed to be circumcised, which was symbolic of entering into the Abrahamic covenant. The men agreed to this proposal, and all were circumcised. While the men of the city were recovering from being circumcised, Simeon and Levi entered the city, killed all of the males, and rescued their sister Dinah from Shechem’s house.
Although the outrage of Simeon and Levi may to some seem justified, deceiving and slaughtering the men of the city was wrong.
The following truths were identified in this lesson:
If we make the effort to settle conflicts in the Lord’s way, then we can help restore peace to troubled relationships.
If we overcome hatred and forgive others, then we can help restore peace to troubled relationships.
Lusting after others shows a lack of love and respect for them.
Take a moment to think about what choices you will make because of what you have learned during this lesson. Set a goal and write it down so you can track your progress.
