Ministering to Others Facing Challenges

Introduction

While our faith often prepares us for personal trials, many struggle to know what to do or say when a close friend or family member experiences a challenge. The good news is, as you seek to help you’re not alone. Here are some basic principles to remember as you minister to those in crisis.

Be Compassionate

In the New Testament, Paul instructed Christ’s believers to be “kind one to another, tenderhearted” (Ephesians 4:32). This advice is especially important in ministering to individuals experiencing distress.

In today’s uncertain climate, people undergo all kinds of challenges. Whether it’s a job loss, poverty, homelessness, depression or other mental illness, a faith crisis, or the tragic loss of a loved one, most people need safe and close human connection—someone to help them know they’re not alone.

It can be helpful to just be there for someone. You can offer to spend time with them, or you may reach out via phone call, video chat, or text message to let them know you’re thinking of them. If it’s appropriate and wanted (it never hurts to ask!), providing a hug or other physical comfort can help strengthen that sense of connection and care.

As you show others that you care about them, you might say things like:

“We love and care about you.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“You are in my thoughts and prayers.”
“I’m here for you, and I can listen.”

It’s OK to simply sit quietly with the person. Just being present with them offers support. If you’re unsure, seek guidance through the Spirit and exert your faith by acting on the promptings you receive.

Allow Others to Express Their Feelings

When someone we care about is going through a challenge, it is tempting to jump straight into looking for solutions. But doing so may deprive the individual of a chance to connect with you and receive the emotional care that is often just as needed as physical aid.

Even in a crisis situation, it’s important to listen actively to the individual. Focus on the person you’re seeking to help with all your heart. Encourage and allow them to express how they feel. Expressing these feelings can open the door to alleviating stress and promoting spiritual growth and faith-building experiences.

While it’s good to encourage those feeling distressed to explain their experiences, you also shouldn’t try to force them to talk about feelings or subjects they aren’t ready to discuss. Some questions you could ask might include:

“What worries you the most right now?”
“What coping strategies are you using?”
“What are the hardest challenges you have faced this week?”
“What strengths do you see in yourself and others?”
“What concerns do you have about the future?”
“How does your faith help?”
“Is there anything about your past that is troubling you?”
“Would you share about a time when you experienced healing in your life?”

Empathize and Normalize Responses

As you seek to minister to someone experiencing challenges, it’s important to remember that everyone is different and will respond to crisis differently. Even if you have faced similar challenges in your life, recognize that your experience is going to be different from theirs.

It’s important to allow others to go through their own experiences. Ask questions about how they are feeling and what they are experiencing. Even if you can’t relate to the experiences and feelings they are expressing, you can help them know that it is alright to not feel OK right now. You might say things like:

“I don’t fully understand the pain you are feeling, but I know that this must be hard for you.”
“There are no ‘wrong’ emotions. Any emotions that you are feeling are OK.”
“It’s common to feel like our thoughts and emotions are beyond our control.”
“Everyone responds differently—it’s OK to feel strong and to be doing well, and it is also OK to struggle.”

People in crisis may feel sad, angry, confused, lost, numb, guilty, helpless, or many other emotions. In addition, they may struggle with sleep, headaches, and stomachaches, as well as changes to their appetite, daily routines, and faith practices. Help them be patient and graceful with themselves. And help them know that local Church members like yourself love them and are there to help.

Suggest Ways to Cope

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A young man and a young woman sit on a park bench together and read from the Ensign magazine.

If the situation is right, part of your ministry to those experiencing challenges may include suggesting avenues for help. Find additional resources you can share, if needed. These resources may include applicable scriptures, talks, and other materials. It may include credible sources of information related to the crisis they are experiencing. The “Facing Challenges: A Self Help Guide” form can also be a useful resource.

In certain scenarios, it may be appropriate to talk about your experiences with specific challenges. However, you should be cautious about sharing stories from your past. It’s important to keep the conversation focused on the person you’re seeking to help.

You may want to discuss ways to manage emotions and stress, such as:

Taking time to take care of ourselves, including proper nutrition, hydration, hygiene, exercise, sleep, and prescribed medications
Limiting news and social media
Engaging in service to others as we are able
Learning mindfulness or breathing exercises
Facing life one day, hour, or minute at a time

To broach the subject, try asking questions like:

“What are your coping strategies? What has helped you cope with difficulties in the past?”
“How are you taking care of your physical health as well as your mental health?”
“How is your faith helping you? How are you relying upon the Lord?”

In some situations, it may be appropriate to encourage the person in need to seek counsel or guidance from a spiritual leader or a mental health care professional. For instance, if you know the individual attends the Baptist church in your neighborhood, you may encourage them to meet with their pastor for guidance and support. You may also refer them to your bishop, local Family Services office, or other sources.

Don’t be afraid to get additional support if you feel it is needed. Mental health professionals, suicide prevention and other hotlines, along with other resources can further guide you as you seek to help.

Offer Hope

Jesus Christ is one of the great sources of hope in the world. For some, meeting with Church leaders, a chaplain, or other clergy may be an inspiring, faith-building experience in the midst of their challenges. But for someone experiencing a faith crisis or an intense hardship, deep expressions of faith and hope may not be helpful at this time.

Often the best way to offer hope to those who need it is to simply show that you are there for them. Continue to be present with someone who is struggling, even when you are not sure what to say or do. You may consider using hopeful statements like:

“I’m here with you; I hear you.”
“I know people who can help.”
“I’ll keep checking in with you.”
“I’ll give you the space that you need, and I’ll be available to help and be with you as well.”

Remember that you don’t have to be perfect to help. You can help just by showing that you’re there.

In Conclusion

As you seek to help individuals experiencing challenges, remember that your role is to serve and to love. Pray for guidance from the Lord on how to best help the individuals within your ministry. Exercise your faith as you act on those promptings. Seek help and resources from your spiritual leaders and professionals around you. As you do so, both you and those whom you seek to help will be blessed.