Six Reasons to Stay Hopeful for a Happy Marriage

By Brittany Beattie

Church Magazines

We have every reason to continue working toward an eternal marriage and family.

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a couple sitting on a couch and smiling at each other

“As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” taught Elder Richard J. Maynes when he was a member of the Seventy, “we understand and believe in the eternal nature of the family. This understanding and belief should inspire us to do everything in our power to establish a Christ-centered home.”¹ So what happens when we:

experience others telling us (falsely) that marriage and parenthood are becoming outdated in today’s society,
start to doubt in happy marriages because of our own or others’ family experiences,
become discouraged when the blessings of marriage or children don’t come when we hope?

In each of these cases, we can trust in the beautiful nature of gospel truths about marriage and family. We can continue to show faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as we “hope for things which are not seen, which are true” (Alma 32:21; see also Ether 12:6). We can build a firm foundation on eternal truths about the family that keep us focused on our eternal goals and perspective. For example, consider the strength, purpose, and hope that can come from studying and embracing these six principles (among others).

1. The Family Is Central to God’s Plan of Salvation and Exaltation

At the heart of the family proclamation are the truths that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”² Many scriptures remind us of the importance of men and women being sealed together as husband and wife (see, for example, Genesis 2:18; 1 Corinthians 11:11; 4 Nephi 1:11; Moses 3:18). Ultimately, “The earth was created and this Church was restored so that families could be formed, sealed, and exalted eternally,”³ taught President Russell M. Nelson.

President Nelson also shared why the temple sealing is so vital:

“Marriage between a man and a woman is sacred—it is ordained of God [see Doctrine and Covenants 49:15–17]. I also assert the virtue of a temple marriage. It is the highest and most enduring type of marriage that our Creator can offer to His children.

“While salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter. Only those who are married in the temple and whose marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise will continue as spouses after death [see Doctrine and Covenants 76:53; 132:7] and receive the highest degree of celestial glory, or exaltation.”⁴

As we seek to obtain and honor a celestial marriage, we are progressing in our eternal roles and in exalting covenants.

2. Marriage Is a Partnership with God

Marriage can quickly switch from feeling overwhelming to feeling like a great privilege and opportunity when we remember that it is not about just a man and woman succeeding together. Rather, they are seeking to succeed in a partnership with Heavenly Father as well. As President Nelson taught: “To qualify for eternal life, we must make an eternal and everlasting covenant with our Heavenly Father [see Doctrine and Covenants 132:19]. This means that a temple marriage is not only between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God [see Matthew 19:6].”⁵ And when we are in partnership with God, we are blessed with access to His power to bless our efforts as we counsel with Him.

As Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Through the temple sealing, a woman and a man enter the holy order of matrimony in the new and everlasting covenant. By way of this order of the priesthood, they are given eternal blessings and divine power to direct their family affairs as they live according to the covenants they have made. From that point on, they move forward interdependently and in full partnership with the Lord, especially in regard to each of their divinely appointed responsibilities of nurturing and presiding in their family.”⁶

3. Marriage and Family Can Bring the Greatest Joys and Blessings

Prophets have spoken on many occasions about the blessings that come through temple sealings and eternal families. For instance, this type of marriage and family can provide:

“The source of our greatest joy”⁷
A “full realization of … blessings … almost beyond our mortal comprehension”⁸
“A pivotal part of preparation for eternal life”⁹
“Greater possibilities for happiness than … any other human relationship”¹⁰
“The foundry for social order, the fountain of virtue, and the foundation for eternal exaltation”¹¹
“A treasured gift from heaven”¹²
“The deepest and sweetest emotions of all”¹³
“The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do”¹⁴
“The ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven”¹⁵
“The supreme blessings”¹⁶
“The most important cause of our lifetime. … If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives”¹⁷
“A sacred privilege that will teach [us] to become more like God”¹⁸
“The source of our eternal progress and joy and the order of our Heavenly Father”¹⁹
“A loving, lasting, and more perfect relationship”²⁰
“A source of incomparable satisfaction, even joy”²¹
“The great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities”²²
“A true and equal partnership”²³
“Unity taught by the Savior”²⁴
“More joy in our journey to eternal life”²⁵
“Our capacity to serve one another and with one another … multipl[ied] significantly”²⁶
Being “very, very happy eternally”²⁷
“Greater joy and fulfillment in mortality”²⁸
“One of the supernal joys of life”²⁹
A “rewarding” and “wonderful” experience³⁰
Being guided by the “Lord … through all … growth experiences together”³¹
“An ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered”³²
“The opportunity for the best experience of love and preparation for a fruitful life”³³
“The ideal environment in which they can live their covenants made with God”³⁴
“The adversary … never hav[ing] power to undermine the foundation of their eternal companionship”³⁵
“A pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth”³⁶
“A divinely ordained path. … No other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement”³⁷
“True happiness in this life and in the eternities”³⁸

4. Families Provide the Best Setting for Success

Not only does marriage between and a man and woman provide for eternal growth, but it also provides the best setting for raising children and blessing societies. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come. A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish. That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions. It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults.”³⁹

President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, also taught:

“When people make family and religious commitments to gospel principles, they begin to do better spiritually and often temporally as well.

“And, of course, societies at large are strengthened as families grow stronger. Commitments to family and values are the basic cause. Nearly everything else is effect. When couples marry and make commitments to each other, they greatly increase their chances of economic well-being. When children are born in wedlock and have both a mom and a dad, their opportunities and their likelihood of occupational success skyrocket. And when families work and play together, neighborhoods and communities flourish, economies improve, and less government and fewer costly safety nets are required.”⁴⁰

5. We Can Change Family Patterns

Even if you have come from a home where love and harmony were not the basis of a marriage, remember that you can create a Christ-centered environment in your home. Elder Christofferson taught that “you can become the generation, perhaps the first in your family, where the divine patterns that God has ordained for families truly take shape and bless all the generations after you.”⁴¹

And as For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices counsels: Remember that “your Savior knows your situation, and He loves you. Be patient, continue to keep God’s commandments, and be a good example to your family. Build relationships within your ward family. Prepare now to build your own family founded on the teachings of Jesus Christ.”⁴²

We can take great comfort in knowing that the Lord will guide us in our righteous desires for a strong marriage and that He will provide the resources and strength we need to create “happiness in family life,”⁴³ even if it’s not what we have experienced in the past.

6. We Can Trust in Promised Blessings to Come

Even for those working toward an eternal marriage, not all will receive that blessing in this lifetime. But we can take comfort in this promise from President Nelson, which principle has also been taught by many other prophets: “I realize that many mature members of the Church are not married. Through no failing of their own, they deal with the trials of life alone. Be we all reminded that in the Lord’s own way and time, no blessings will be withheld from His faithful Saints.”⁴⁴

As we wait upon the Lord for such blessings, we can “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power” and then “stand still” and “see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (Doctrine and Covenants 123:17). And we can prepare to receive the greatest blessing offered to us—exaltation in the life to come.