“Lovest Thou Me?”
If we want to show our love for God, we should understand how He recognizes our love.
In the parable of the prodigal son, the elder brother initially struggled to celebrate when his younger brother returned home after a period of poor choices and “wast[ing] his substance with riotous living.” The elder brother’s pride and self-righteousness kept him from embracing the joy of his brother’s repentant return. We also may let opportunities pass us by without letting our loved ones know, through our words and actions, of our sincere love for them.
There are many powerful examples in the scriptures of sincere love shared and received: Naomi and Ruth, Ammon and King Lamoni, the prodigal son and his father, the Savior and His disciples.
When love is freely given and sincerely received, a virtuous cycle ensues with an increase of love between both the giver and the receiver.
God’s love is perfect, infinite, enduring, and “most sweet.” It fills the soul with “exceedingly great joy.” Nevertheless, at times we may find it difficult to recognize God’s love in our lives. However, our perfectly loving Heavenly Father so deeply desires for us to experience His love that He “speaketh unto [us] according to … [our] understanding.” He will express His love for us in ways we, individually, can recognize. We may experience God’s love for us when we observe the beauties of nature, or receive answers to prayers, or have thoughts come to our mind in the very moment of need, or experience sweet moments of joy. The greatest manifestation of Heavenly Father’s love for us that resonates with both mind and heart is when He allowed His Beloved Son to offer Himself as the atoning one.
Like the prodigal son’s elder brother, our focus is often centered on ourselves. We are so consumed with seeking evidence of God’s love for us, and we become frustrated when we do not see it. But the beautiful paradox is that the more we are focused on showing our love for God, the more easily we recognize His love for us. Perhaps this is why the Savior responded to the question “Which is the great commandment?” with this simple and important invitation: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.”
Sometimes the way we show our love to those we hold most dear is not necessarily the way they recognize love. This may be frustrating for both the giver and the receiver. It may be helpful to ask those we love how they recognize love expressed. Likewise, if we want to show our love for God, we should understand how He recognizes our love. Fortunately, He has clearly outlined several ways in the scriptures that we can show our love for Him.
Lovest Thou Me More Than These?
In the instructive exchange between Peter and the resurrected Lord at the Sea of Tiberias, we learn of ways we can show our love for the Lord.
“Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.”
The key question in this inquiry by the Lord is “Lovest thou me more than these?” We show our love to the Lord when we put Him above “these,” and “these” can be anyone, any activity, or anything that displaces Him from being the most important influence in our lives.
There will never be enough time in a day, a week, a month, or a year to get done all we want or need to accomplish. Part of the test of mortality is to use the precious resource of time for what is most important for our eternal good and to let go of those things that are less important.
President Russell M. Nelson said: “The question for each of us … is the same. … Are you willing to let God be the most important influence in your life? Will you allow His words, His commandments, and His covenants to influence what you do each day? Will you allow His voice to take priority over any other? Are you willing to let whatever He needs you to do take precedence over every other ambition? Are you willing to have your will swallowed up in His?” We demonstrate our discipleship and love for God when we make Him our top priority.
Feed My Sheep
In the next verse of this same discussion between Peter and the Savior, we learn of another way the Lord recognizes our expressions of love: “[The Lord] saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”
We show our love for Heavenly Father when we serve, listen to, love, lift, or minister to His children. That service may be as simple as truly seeing others without judgment. In the 76th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, we get a glimpse of the character of those who will inherit a celestial glory: “They see as they are seen, and know as they are known.” They see others as God sees them, and He sees them as they can become, with glorious divine potential.
After returning home from my mission, I took over the lawn-care business my brothers and I had started as teenagers. I was also busy with my university studies. One spring week, heavy rain and looming final exams left me overwhelmed and behind on yard work.
Midweek the skies cleared, and I planned to catch up on yard work after classes. But when I arrived home, my truck and equipment were gone. Curious, I visited the scheduled yards; each one had already been beautifully trimmed. At the last yard on the schedule, I saw my younger brother walking behind the mower. He saw me, smiled, and waved. Overcome with gratitude, I hugged and thanked him. His meaningful act of service deeply strengthened my love and loyalty for him. Serving each other is an unmistakable way we show our love for God and His Beloved Son.
Confess His Hand in All Things
We also manifest our love for God by having a grateful heart. The Lord said, “In nothing doth man offend God, … save those who confess not his hand in all things.” We show our love for God by acknowledging Him as the source of every good thing in our lives.
In the early days of launching a company, my business partner and I would pray earnestly before important meetings, asking for Heavenly Father’s help. Time after time, God answered our prayers, and our meetings went well. After one meeting, my business partner pointed out that we had been quick to ask for help but slow to give thanks. From then on, we made it a habit to offer sincere prayers of gratitude, recognizing the Lord’s hand in our successes. We show our love for God with “an attitude of gratitude.”
If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments
Another way we show our love for Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son is to choose to obey Them. The Savior said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” This kind of obedience is neither blind nor compulsory but is a sincere and willing expression of love. Father in Heaven wants us to want to be obedient. Sister Tamara W. Runia called this “affectionate obedience.” She said, “Even though we don’t have perfect obedience yet, we try affectionate obedience now, choosing to stay, again and again, because we love Him.”
Heavenly Father gave us agency to inspire us to want to choose Him. His work and glory is not only to bring to pass our eternal life but also includes a hope that our greatest desire is to return to Him. However, He will never force us to obey. In the hymn “Know This, That Every Soul Is Free,” we sing:
As mission leaders, my wife, Christina, and I were inspired by so many missionaries who chose to be obedient not only because it was a missionary standard but because they wanted to show their love for the Lord by humbly choosing to represent Him.
Elder Dale G. Renlund said: “Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors.” We show our love for God when we choose to obey and follow Him.
Our Heavenly Father and our Savior recognize our expressions of love for Them when we put Them first in our lives, serve one another, gratefully acknowledge every blessing from Them, and choose to obey and follow Them.
I testify that each one of us truly is a child of God and He loves us perfectly. I testify that He yearns for us to experience His love in ways we recognize and understand. And the beautiful paradox is that we will experience His love for us even more deeply as we show our love for Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.