Your Repentance Doesn’t Burden Jesus Christ; It Brightens His Joy
The invitation to repent is an expression of God’s love. Saying yes to that invitation is an expression of ours.
Several years ago on a trip to Florida, I sat outside reading a book. Its title suggested that we can still make it to heaven, even though we’re not perfect now. A woman walking by asked, “Do you think it’s possible?”
I looked up, confused, and then realized she was talking about the book I was reading. I said something ridiculous like, “Well, I’m not that far into it, but I’ll let you know how it ends.”
Oh, how I wish I could travel back in time! I’d tell her, “Yes, it’s possible! Because heaven isn’t for people who’ve been perfect; it’s for people who’ve been forgiven, who choose Christ again and again.”
Today I want to speak to those of us who sometimes feel, “Repentance and forgiveness seem to be working for everyone but me.” Those who privately wonder, “Since I keep making the same mistakes, maybe this is the way I am.” Those who, like me, have days when the covenant path feels so steep, it’s almost a covenant hike!
A wonderful missionary in Australia, Elder QaQa from Fiji, shared a similar feeling in his departing testimony: “I know that God loves me, but sometimes I wonder, ‘Does God know that I love Him?’ Because I’m not perfect, and I still make mistakes.”
In that one tender, haunting question, Elder QaQa summed up exactly what I’ve often worried about. Maybe you’re wondering too, thinking, “I’m trying so hard, but does God know I’m really trying? When I keep falling short, does God know I still love Him?”
It saddens me to admit this, but I used to measure my relationship with the Savior by how perfectly I was living. I thought an obedient life meant I would never need to repent. And when I made mistakes, which was every single day, I distanced myself from God, thinking, “He must be so disappointed in me.”
That’s just not true.
I’ve learned that if you wait until you’re clean enough or perfect enough to go to the Savior, you’ve missed the whole point!
What if we thought about commandments and obedience in a different way?
I testify that while God cares about our mistakes, He cares more about what happens after we make a mistake. Are we going to turn to Him again and again? Are we going to stay in this covenant relationship?
Maybe you hear the Lord’s words “If [you] love me, keep my commandments” and feel deflated because you haven’t kept all the commandments. Let me remind you that it is also a commandment to repent! In fact, it might be the most repeated commandment in the scriptures.
In Alma’s soliloquy, “O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of [my] heart … and cry repentance,” he wasn’t trying to shame us by pointing out our mistakes. He wanted to cry repentance so that you and I could avoid suffering in the world. One reason Alma hated sin is because it causes us pain.
Sometimes I have to remember, like a Post-it note on my forehead, that the commandments are the path away from pain. And repentance is too. Our prophet said, “The Savior loves us always but especially when we repent.”
So when the Lord says, “Repent ye, repent ye,” what if you imagined Him saying, “I love you. I love you.” Picture Him pleading with you to leave behind the behavior causing you pain, inviting you to step out of darkness and turn to His light.
In my daughter Carly’s ward, a new priest knelt to bless the sacrament, and instead of saying, “That they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son,” he inadvertently said, “That they may do it in remembrance of the love of thy Son.” Tears filled Carly’s eyes as the truth of those words sank in.
Our Savior was willing to suffer the pain of His Atonement because He loves you. In fact, you are “the joy that was set before him” while He suffered.
The invitation to repent is an expression of God’s love.
Saying yes to that invitation is an expression of ours.
Picture your favorite image of Christ. Now imagine Him smiling brightly with joy each time you use His gift, because He is the “perfect brightness of hope.”
Yes, your repentance doesn’t burden Jesus Christ; it brightens His joy!
Let’s teach that!
Because repentance is our best news!
We don’t stay on the covenant path by never making a mistake. We stay on the path by repenting every day.
And when we’re repenting, God forgives without shaming us, comparing us to anyone else, or scolding us because this is the same thing we were repenting of last week.
He’s excited every time He sees us on our knees. He delights to forgive us because to Him we are delightful!
Don’t you just feel that’s true?
Then why is it so hard for us to believe?!
Satan, the great accuser and deceiver, uses shame to keep us from God. Shame is a darkness so heavy it feels that if you took it out of your body, it would have an actual weight or heft to it.
Shame is the voice that beats you up, saying, “What were you thinking?” “Do you ever get anything right?”
Shame doesn’t tell us we made a mistake; it tells us we are our mistakes. You may even hear, “Hide.” The adversary does everything in his power to keep the heaviness inside, telling us the cost is too high, that it will be easier if this stays in darkness, removing all hope.
Satan is the thief of hope.
And you need to hear this, so I’ll say these words out loud: You are not the voice in your head or the mistakes you have made. You may need to say that out loud too. Tell Satan, “Not today.” Put him behind you.
Feel that pull, the godly sorrow that turns you toward your Savior, and watch His grace enter into your life and the lives of those you love. I promise that the minute we bring a broken heart courageously toward Him, He is immediately there.
If you saw someone drowning, wouldn’t you reach your hand out and rescue them? Can you imagine your Savior rejecting your outstretched hand? I imagine Him diving into the water, descending below all things to lift us up so we can take a fresh breath! No one can sink lower than the light of Christ shines.
The Savior is forever brighter than the darkness of shame. He would never attack your worth. So watch closely.
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Imagine that this hand represents worth.
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This hand represents obedience. Maybe you woke up this morning, said a meaningful prayer, and searched the scriptures to hear God’s voice. You’ve made good decisions and are treating the people around you with Christlikeness. You’re listening to general conference! Your obedience is here!
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Or maybe things haven’t gone so well. You’ve struggled lately to do those small, simple things to connect to heaven. You’ve made some decisions you aren’t proud of.
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Where is your worth? Has this hand moved at all?
Your worth isn’t tied to obedience. Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience brings blessings; that is true. But worth isn’t one of them. Your worth is always “great in the sight of God,” no matter where your decisions have taken you.
While I make mistakes, I want to stay in covenant relationship with Christ, and I’ll tell you why.
I grew up taking diving lessons and learned that when judges score a dive, they watch the execution. Was the entry perfectly vertical, with toes pointed and a small splash? Then they do something extraordinary. They factor in the degree of difficulty.
Everyone is diving with their own degree of difficulty. And your Savior is the only one who truly knows the difficulty you are diving with. I want a relationship with the one person who gets me, who knows my heart and how hard I’m trying!
He knows the mists of darkness are descending on all of us travelers and that our journey passes by the river of filth—so even when we’re holding to the iron rod, we’re going to get splashed.
Coming unto Christ is saying, “Will you help me?” with hope, a revealed assurance that His arms are extended to you always. I believe this fresh view of repentance means that even though we don’t have perfect obedience yet, we try affectionate obedience now, choosing to stay, again and again, because we love Him.
Remember King Benjamin’s people, who had no more disposition to do evil but only to do good continually? Do you think they packed up their tents, went home, and never made another mistake? Of course not! The difference is they no longer wanted to sin. They had affectionate obedience! Their hearts were turned and tuned to God while they struggled!
Once, at the beach, I saw a bird flying into the wind, flapping its wings so hard, almost frenetically, but staying in the same place. Then I noticed another bird, higher up. It had caught an updraft and was floating easily, unburdened in the wind. That’s the difference between trying to do this by ourselves and turning to our Savior, letting Him lift us, with “healing in his wings.”
As mission leaders in Australia, during our last visit with each missionary, we talked about 3 Nephi 17, where the people were close to the Savior and could hear Him praying for them. We asked, “If you could hear the Savior praying for you, what do you think He would say?”
To hear their answers was one of the most Spirit-filled experiences of my life. Every one of those missionaries would pause, and tears would fill their eyes as we reminded them, “Your Savior knows the degree of difficulty you’re experiencing. He’s felt it!”
This is what those missionaries quietly and tenderly shared: One sister said, “Jesus would tell the Father, ‘She’s doing her very best. I know how hard she is trying.’” An elder said, “With everything that’s happened in his life, I’m so proud of him.”
Let’s try this. Tonight, before you pray, imagine Jesus Christ close by. He is your Advocate with the Father. Ask yourself, “What would my Savior say to the Father about me?”
And then become silent.
Listen for that voice that says good things about you—the voice of the Savior, your finest friend, and your Father in Heaven, who is really there. Remember, Their love and your worth are always great, no matter what!
I stand here to witness that Jesus Christ gives light to those who sit in darkness. So, on those days when you feel that voice telling you to hide, that you should hide in a dark room all by yourself, I invite you to be brave and believe Christ! Walk over and turn on the Light—our Perfect Brightness of Hope.
Bathed in His light, you’ll see people all around you who have felt alone too, but now, with the light on, you and they will wonder, “Why were we so afraid in the dark? And why did we stay there so long?”
“May the Lord of Lights wrap you in His arms and console and love you continually.” May we love Him continually and choose Him, again and again. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.