For the Strength of Youth
Your Emotional Intelligence Toolkit
For the Strength of Youth August 2025

Your Emotional Intelligence Toolkit

By Janae Castillo

Church Magazines

These skills and tips on interacting with others can help you with school, a mission, work, and life in general!

heart and brain connected by cables

Illustrations by Sebastian Iwohn

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand others’ emotions while also managing your own. The better we do this, the better we can serve the Lord and others. For tips on how to improve your emotional skills (yes, they really are necessary), read on!

faces showing different feelings

Empathy

Empathy means being able to understand someone else’s feelings, regardless of whether you have experienced the same things as them. Heavenly Father has commanded us to “love one another” (John 15:12), and we can do that by trying to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

Put It into Practice:

  • When someone opens up to you, listen especially well to the person’s feelings. Although you may not relate to their situation, you can likely relate to feelings of frustration, sadness, or whatever they may be feeling.

  • Ask the person questions to better understand their situation. Hold off on offering solutions.

woman holding oversized magnifying glass

Body Language

Our body language and facial expressions communicate just as much as our words do! When talking to someone, it’s important to show that we’re listening and care about what they have to say.

In biblical times, lepers were not allowed to be touched because they were considered impure. But when Jesus healed a leper, He touched him and then healed him. While being healed was an amazing miracle, the leper must have felt even more loved knowing Jesus was unafraid to touch him (see Mark 1:40–42).

Put It into Practice:

  • When someone is trying to talk to you, put away any distractions like your phone, homework, or gaming device.

  • Turn to face the other person when talking to them, and look them in the eye.

thermometer and brain

Having Difficult Conversations

Conflict is unavoidable, but the Savior has made it clear that we should avoid contention (see 3 Nephi 11:29–30). It can be hard to stay patient during a difficult conversation, especially if the other person starts to act immature or angry.

Put It into Practice:

  • Be respectful. Going to any length to prove you’re right is not the Savior’s way. Even when you’re standing up for the truth, you can “use boldness, but not overbearance” (Alma 38:12).

  • Take a break if the conversation gets too heated. Sometimes we just need some time alone to cool off and think by ourselves. That doesn’t mean you “give up”—you’re just saving the conversation for another time, when everyone is calm.

ear

Listening

Listening is an important principle in the gospel. We strive to listen to the Savior, to the Spirit, to the prophets and apostles.

Listening is also important in our day-to-day doings! President Jeffrey R. Holland taught: “More important than speaking is listening. … If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us—by the Spirit and by our friends” (Apr. 2001 general conference [Ensign, May 2001, 15]).

Put It into Practice: