For Mothers of Young Children
How Skateboarding Helped Prepare Me for Motherhood
Being an amateur skateboarder taught me not to get discouraged by falling. I had no idea how much that principle would also apply to motherhood.
I started skateboarding when I was 16, thanks to my four younger brothers. Between the ages of 17 and 20, I even had sponsors. I’ve always loved the challenge of skateboarding and extreme sports, but I didn’t expect the kinds of challenges that came with motherhood.
I was raised in the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I had been gradually prepared for motherhood. I’d always wanted to get married and have kids. So I thought I knew the demands of having a baby.
But I didn’t.
When I actually became a mother, it was really hard. It was so special to know that I was someone’s world and that I was very loved. Children have the purest and most sincere love, and for me, it now works like a fuel to give me strength and courage. But in the beginning, I was extremely tired, stressed out, and lost. My son, Luigi, cried a lot, which really affected me. I like to have balance in my life; I normally sleep well, eat well, and exercise. But everything changed with a child whose needs disrupted my whole routine and balance.
I had always felt supported and strengthened by God, but during the beginning of my journey as a mother, I felt so stressed and lost.
I had learned early on in my experience that skateboarding is not an easy sport. It requires numerous attempts to accomplish your goals. You will fall a lot, you’ll get hurt, and there’s often no way to avoid those things. But, as with anything in life, there is a reward for being resilient and having the courage to not give up.
For me, the lessons I learned through skateboarding also apply to becoming a better mother. We will never be perfect; we will fall, and we will get hurt, but we must keep going. We need to keep trying, seek mentors in our lives, look up to heaven, and never give up.
Luckily, we know that we have a Savior we can rely on to help us when we fail (see Helaman 5:12). Like Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once said, “Come what may, and love it.”
Dealing with the Good and Bad Days of Motherhood
I know that motherhood has good days and bad days. There are days when your child won’t be feeling good, life situations will happen, and you have absolutely no control.
During these moments, you need to be patient and develop some stress relief mechanisms.
President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) once said: “Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.”
One of the things that I do during hard times is talk to someone who can give me guidance and direction. For example, when I was going through a hard time with my children and was not handling things well, I talked to a psychologist to help me understand what was happening and what I needed to do in that moment.
And when I start my day with scripture, I feel like I get strength from reading and inspiration for that day. As I stay mindful, I can also hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost guiding me in small actions throughout my day. Sometimes I realize I need to be calmer or use a different approach with my children. Line upon line, we have the opportunity to shape ourselves.
Embodying Christlike Qualities
Consider the easy days as a mother a gift from God, as we also have difficult days. Many times when caring for a child, we are not prepared for the situations we will face. But it is exactly at this moment when we don’t know how to act that we will take a step forward, leave the comfort zone, and develop the skills we need for growth—all with Heavenly Father’s help.
I believe that in order for us to be good mothers, we need God in our lives. To be able to teach a child effectively, we need to be shaped and polished to have the spiritual qualities we want to instill in our children. However, to teach these qualities well, we need to embody these qualities first so that our relationship with God can influence how we approach our children’s spiritual growth.
This is why I strive every day to grow closer to Jesus Christ—because I want to become like Him so that my children can also experience His influence in their own lives. There are things I know I need to improve, and they are on my list of goals for the person I want to become. Some of them have been challenging for me and have been a work in progress for years. I believe it’s a matter of taking it “line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little” (2 Nephi 28:30). God knows what’s in our hearts and helps us with the rest.
I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I am grateful to be part of this gospel today. I believe that God has entrusted us with the divine gift of motherhood and the responsibility to teach His children to the best of our abilities. Jesus Christ will always help us on our journey because He is invested in our success as parents. He longs for our growth and that of our children. He is closer to us than we can imagine—especially during all the challenges and joys of motherhood.