Lesson 25 Teacher Material

Repentance and Forgiveness in Family Life

We can invite the Lord’s power to heal and strengthen our family relationships by applying the principles of repentance and forgiveness. This lesson will help students understand how their repentance can improve family relationships. Students will also consider how they can access the Lord’s help to forgive family members who may have offended or hurt them.

Note: Sometimes the hurt inflicted by family members is in the form of abuse. Healing from abuse will be discussed in the next lesson.

Suggestions for Teaching

Improving Our Teaching and Learning

Focus on what a student must experience to become more deeply converted. Students learn as they actively participate in the learning process and in living the gospel. As you teach, focus on what your students need to experience and do to invite personal revelation and deepen conversion. As they increase their knowledge of the gospel and live according to what they know, students will become more converted to the Savior and His gospel.

Our personal repentance can improve family relationships.

Display the following statements on the board (consider adjusting these statements to better meet your students’ needs):

1. It is important to focus on making sure other family members repent often.

2. If a family member is more at fault than we are, we should wait for that family member to apologize and change before we do.

3. It is always easy to repent of ways we might harm family members.

4. It is OK to mistreat people in our family if they are trying to annoy us.

Begin the lesson by inviting a student to read aloud the statements on the board. Ask students to silently consider whether each statement is true or false (do not ask students to share their answers). After sufficient time, explain that all of the statements are false.

• How would you correct each of these statements to make them true?

• Why can it be challenging to repent when we hurt family members? How can the Lord help us in our efforts to repent?

You might display one of the depictions of the parable of the prodigal son from the preparation material and ask a student to summarize the parable. Consider reviewing Luke 15:17–24 and asking students what principles they identified from this parable about repentance in family life.

• What can we learn about Heavenly Father from the father in this parable? How can this knowledge influence the way we view repentance?

• When have you seen a marriage or family be blessed because of the repentance of one of its members? (Remind students not to share anything too personal or private.)

The Lord can help us forgive family members who have offended or hurt us.

Invite students to think about when they may have been offended or hurt by a family member. You might also ask them to ponder how well they have been able to forgive that person.

• Why can it sometimes be difficult to forgive family members who have wronged us?

Review together Doctrine and Covenants 64:8–11, and ask the class what truths they learn from the Lord’s teachings about forgiveness. Among the truths students identify may be one like the following: The Lord requires us to forgive all people.

You might invite students to choose a few paragraphs or statements from Church leaders in section 2 of the preparation material to briefly review. Then ask:

• How could these teachings help someone forgive a family member who has wronged him or her?

As part of the discussion, consider displaying Elder Massimo De Feo’s statement from section 2 of the preparation material and reading it together with students. You might give students a few minutes to ponder what the Savior has done for them.

• How can remembering the Savior’s sacrifice help us forgive others?

Consider using the story of Jacob and Esau to help students deepen their understanding of forgiveness in family life, or create your own scenario that could help students consider the feelings, worries, and choices associated with reconciling with a family member who we have offended or who has offended us.

If possible, display the following image:

Esau’s Birthright, by Glen S. Hopkinson

Ask students to explain what they know about this account of Jacob and Esau and what affected the relationship between these brothers. As needed, you could add to students’ understanding by sharing some of the following details:

Isaac and Rebekah had twin sons, Esau and Jacob. Esau was the oldest and was therefore in position to be the birthright son. This meant he would inherit his father’s land, “a double portion of his father’s possessions,” and the authority to preside as the spiritual leader of the family after his father’s death (Bible Dictionary, “Firstborn”; see also Bible Dictionary, “Birthright”).

Esau, however, sold the birthright to Jacob for a mess of pottage (a bowl of soup or stew). Later, when Isaac desired to bestow the birthright blessing, Esau tried to receive it even though he had forfeited it. Rebekah intervened, and Jacob received the blessing. As a result, Esau hated Jacob and vowed to kill him. Rebekah and Isaac sent Jacob to live with his uncle Laban. Jacob married and had children. After 20 years, the Lord directed Jacob to return to his homeland. Jacob was afraid of what Esau might do to him and his family when he learned Esau was coming with 400 men to meet them. Jacob instructed his servants to divide a large number of his animals into several groups and to offer them as gifts to Esau as he approached. (See Genesis 25–32.)

Consider dividing the class into pairs or small groups. Invite students to silently read Genesis 33:1–11, looking for what happened when Jacob and Esau met. Ask each student to choose the perspective of either Jacob or Esau and to imagine experiencing the events recorded in these verses from that perspective.

After sufficient time, ask students to discuss the following questions with their partner or group, using what they learned while imagining this reunion from the perspective of either Jacob or Esau:

• What thoughts or feelings might you have had as you approached and talked with your brother?

• What did you do to reconcile with your brother? What principle can you learn from this?

Once students have completed this activity, consider discussing some of the following questions together as a class:

• What principles do you see in the examples of Jacob and Esau? In what ways do you see the Lord’s hand in this account?

• How has God helped you take the initiative to settle a conflict or to forgive someone in your family? (Remind students not to share anything too personal.)

Invite students to silently consider how Heavenly Father might want them to apply the principles of repentance or forgiveness in their family relationships at this time. Encourage them to act on any impressions they receive. You might give students time to testify of the value of repentance and forgiveness in the family.

For Next Time

Explain that some people, tragically, choose to abuse others. Encourage students to carefully study the preparation material for the next lesson. Invite them to consider how, with the Savior’s help, they can heal or help others heal from the effects of abuse.