Lesson 13 Teacher Material

The Divine Gift and Sacred Responsibility of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is a gift from God, ordained to be a beautiful and sacred part of marriage. In this lesson, students will deepen their understanding of eternal truths pertaining to this divine gift. Students will also evaluate the limits or boundaries they have set or need to set to help them live the law of chastity.

Note: Because of the delicate nature of this topic, please teach the doctrine clearly but with sensitivity and care. You may need to adapt the teaching methods or scenarios used in the lesson to fit your culture.

Suggestions for Teaching

Improving Our Teaching and Learning

Foster a sense of the sacred. How a teacher approaches or frames a topic can help students feel its sacred nature. Elder Paul B. Pieper of the Seventy taught, “By designating something as sacred, the Lord signals that it is of higher value and priority than other things” (“To Hold Sacred,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 109). As you discuss sexual intimacy, ponder how you can foster a candid and honest discussion while also helping students to feel and understand the sacred nature of this topic.

Sexual intimacy between husband and wife is intended to be beautiful and sacred.

Display the following scenario:

Your friends cannot understand why you think sex before marriage is wrong. One day a friend says to you, “What is wrong with having sex with someone you love? If you both consent, how can that be a problem? Don’t you think you’re missing out on an important and fun part of life by waiting to have sex until you are married?”

Invite students to review sections 1 and 2 of the preparation material, looking for truths that could help them respond to the scenario from a gospel perspective. Invite a few students to write the truths they find on the board. Possible truths could include: God has commanded that sexual intimacy is to be expressed only between a man and a woman who are lawfully married. Sexual intimacy in marriage is intended to express love, create life, and strengthen connection and unity. Sexual intimacy is a symbol of a complete commitment and total union in marriage. Our physical body is an essential part of our soul, and how we use it affects our spirit and our eternal progression.

You will not have time to explore all of these truths in depth, so focus on the truths students are most interested in discussing. Some of the following questions may help deepen students’ learning:

• According to Genesis 2:18, 21–24, what did Adam and Eve learn about the nature of marital love? How can a husband and wife be blessed by viewing sexual intimacy as a symbol of merging “their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything”? (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Personal Purity,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 76). (Consider inviting students to review the statement by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in section 1 of the preparation material. As part of the discussion, help students understand that as spouses cultivate their intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy, their sexual intimacy will be more meaningful.)

• Why is it misleading to view sexual intimacy as merely a physical experience intended to provide physical pleasure? How could sexual intimacy outside of marriage emotionally and spiritually harm those involved? (It may be helpful to invite students to review the statement by Elder Holland in section 2 of the preparation material.)

• How can a testimony of Jesus Christ and His Atonement and of the divine purposes of the physical body influence how we approach sexual intimacy? (Consider inviting a student to read 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 aloud prior to asking this question.)

• How can understanding the truths listed on the board offset negative attitudes or fear-based thinking about sexual intimacy?

With the Lord’s help we can increase our personal purity and joyfully live the law of chastity.

Invite students to imagine they are the parents of a 13-year-old son or daughter. They feel it is a good time to have another conversation with their child about the law of chastity. Give students a few minutes to share in small groups how they would teach or reaffirm the law of chastity to their 13-year-old child. Caution students against using language or metaphors that could instill shame, fear, or confusion. After sufficient time, ask the class:

• How would you teach in a way that could help a young teenager to have positive feelings about the divine gift of sexual intimacy and the law of chastity?

• What are some teachings you have learned growing up that have helped you to view sexual intimacy as something that is a beautiful and proper part of marriage?

Invite a student to read Alma 38:12 aloud. Encourage students to consider marking Alma’s teachings that reflect the following principle: If we bridle our passions, we can be filled with love.

Display the following heading and questions. (If you prefer, you can print copies and distribute them.) Invite students to work in their same small groups and to choose two or three questions they feel are relevant to them and discuss them.

Setting Limits and Seeking Divine Help to Live the Law of Chastity

The Eternal Family Teacher Material—Lesson 13

• What are some of the greatest challenges to living the law of chastity? How can we overcome these challenges?

• How have exercising faith in Jesus Christ and seeking His grace helped you to keep the law of chastity? (Consider reviewing 1 Corinthians 10:13; Alma 13:28; Doctrine and Covenants 62:1.)

• Why is it important to set your limits before and during marriage when it comes to keeping the law of chastity? How can a couple who is dating be blessed by having a discussion about their boundaries for physical affection? (You may want to review Elder Neil L. Andersen’s statement in section 3 of the preparation material.)

• Whether you are single or married, what strategies, practices, and boundaries have you found to be most helpful in keeping the law of chastity?

• How do we honor Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by keeping the law of chastity?

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Setting Limits and Seeking Divine Help to Live the Law of Chastity

teacher handout

To end class, invite students to share how their understanding of sexual intimacy and the law of chastity has been strengthened by the preparation material and the class discussion.

Invite students to review what they wrote in response to the “Record Your Thoughts” prompt in section 3 of the preparation material and to add any additional ideas they have had or impressions they have received. You might also invite them to think about how the Savior has made it possible for us to overcome sexual temptation and sin and have healthy relationships.

Share your testimony about the truths taught today, and encourage students to seek divine help as they strive to live the law of chastity.

For Next Time

Point out to students that one of the most dangerous threats to our personal purity is pornography. Invite students to carefully study the preparation material for the next lesson, looking for how they can avoid and help others avoid this threat.