How can I help friends or family members who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay feel more comfortable attending church?

For some people who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, attending church can be difficult. They may be worried that they will have negative interactions at church—that they will be singled out, ridiculed, or silently judged for what they are experiencing. They may also be confused or have concerns about some of the teachings of the Church. As you seek Heavenly Father’s help through sincere prayer, you can know how to help others find a place in His Church and how to help strengthen them in their efforts to come unto Christ.

Efforts to minister to any member of the Church often require becoming more familiar with what the Church has said about a certain subject. Gaining an understanding about LGBTQ+ topics will go a long way in your efforts to help people who identify as gay or same-sex attracted, and people who do not, feel loved and included. You can find information under “Same-Sex Attraction” in the Life Help and Self-Reliance Topics collection in Gospel Library, including messages and talks from Church leaders. Sometimes you may have to dispel myths about what the Church and its leaders have taught. Doing so can help individuals on both sides of an issue reframe their behavior and come closer to the Savior. If you encounter someone who is hurtful (even inadvertently) to you or those you love, be patient and forgiving. Remember that they are learning, just like you are.

Counseling with leaders can sometimes alleviate difficult situations. In some cases, leaders may need to counsel with ward and stake members to help increase understanding or to address needs.

President Russell M. Nelson has taught: “Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions. Regrettably, we sometimes see contentious behavior even within our own ranks. …

“My dear brothers and sisters, this should not be. As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are to be examples of how to interact with others—especially when we have differences of opinion. One of the easiest ways to identify a true follower of Jesus Christ is how compassionately that person treats other people” (“Peacemakers Needed,” Liahona, May 2023, 98).

The Church should be a place of love, belonging, respect, and learning for everyone who wants to be there. We should all seek to emulate the Savior in how we treat other people, no matter their life circumstances. Some principles of Christlike interactions include listening with empathy and seeking to understand, responding with love and respect for another’s life experience, teaching truth and light with love and sensitivity, and pointing others to Christ as the answer and relief to all of the circumstances of life.

President Russell M. Nelson has said:

“Whatever questions or problems you have, the answer is always found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. Learn more about His Atonement, His love, His mercy, His doctrine, and His restored gospel of healing and progression. Turn to Him! Follow Him!” (“The Answer Is Always Jesus Christ,” Liahona, May 2023, 127).