Lesson 11

How can I prepare now to become a righteous husband and father or wife and mother?

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 129).

Male soldier holding a baby

As a teacher, prepare yourself spiritually

What have you done, and what are you doing, to prepare to be a righteous husband and father or wife and mother? How has your preparation blessed your life?

What experiences could the service members have now that would help them prepare to be righteous husbands and fathers or wives and mothers? How will their preparation bless their families now and in the future? If they are already married, what can they do to fulfill their roles and responsibilities in their families?

Prayerfully study these scriptures and resources. Other resources may be included later in the outline as well. What resources will help the group members prepare to fulfill their roles as spouses and parents?

• Proverbs 31:10–31; 2 Nephi 1:20–23; Alma 56:47–48; Moroni 7:45–46; D&C 88:123–25; D&C 121:41–46 (Characteristics of righteous men and women)

• 1 Nephi 2:1–3 (Lehi receives revelation from the Lord for the safety of his family)

• 1 Nephi 16:14–32 (Nephi helps provide for his family when they are starving in the wilderness)

• D&C 42:22 (Spouses should love each other and be faithful)

• D&C 58:26–28; 107:99–100 (The importance of work)

• D&C 88:78–80, 118; 90:15 (Seek learning)

• Abraham 1:1–4, 18–19 (Abraham seeks the blessings of the priesthood for the sake of his posterity)

• Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Fathers in Israel,” Ensign, Nov. 1987, 48–51

• Robert D. Hales, “Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 7–10

• D. Todd Christofferson, “Brethren, We Have Work to Do,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 47–50

• L. Tom Perry, “Becoming Goodly Parents,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 26–28

• M. Russell Ballard, “Mothers and Daughters,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2010, 18–21; see also the video “Mothers and Daughters”

• Mary N. Cook, “Seek Learning: You Have a Work to Do,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 120–22

• “Education,” For the Strength of Youth (2011), 9–10

• Videos: “How Do I Love Thee?”; “Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God”; “Fathers Can Use the Priesthood to Bless Their Families”

Begin the learning experience

Use the following idea or think of your own to introduce the lesson.

Invite the service members to think about what it takes to be a successful husband and father or wife and mother. Write this question on the board: How can I prepare now to become a righteous husband and father or wife and mother? Ask class members how they would answer the question. Discuss responses.

Learn together

Each of the following activities can help service members understand how to become righteous husbands and fathers or wives and mothers. Following the guidance of the Spirit, select one or more that will work best for the group:

• Invite the service members to read the seventh paragraph of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” and look for what their responsibilities will be when they become husbands and fathers or wives and mothers. Divide the service members into small groups, and ask each group to think of ways they can prepare now for one of these responsibilities. Ask one member of each group to share what that group discussed.

• Write on the board the headings Spiritual Attributes, Personal Relationships, and Knowledge and Skills. Ask service members to think of skills and attributes a husband, father, wife, or mother may need (such as heeding the Spirit, teaching children, seeking guidance through prayer, communicating, or providing for the family), and write them under the appropriate heading. Invite the service members to read Elder L. Tom Perry’s letters to his mother (in his talk “Becoming Goodly Parents”) or watch one of the videos suggested in this outline. Ask them to look for the skills and attributes of righteous mothers and fathers and share what was meaningful to them. What can the members of the class do now to develop these skills and attributes?

• Assign service members a few verses to read from some of the scriptures suggested in this outline. Invite individuals to draw a picture or symbol or write a brief sentence representing the characteristics of a righteous husband and father or wife and mother found in the assigned verses. Share the pictures or sentences with the class, and discuss together how class members can acquire these characteristics.

• Ask service members to read Abraham 1:1–2 and write on the board all of the blessings Abraham wanted in the future. How could these blessings help service members become good fathers or mothers? What examples of righteous husbands and fathers or wives and mothers have service members seen that they would like to emulate?

• Read the following quote: “There is nothing that has come or will come into your family as important as the sealing blessings. There is nothing more important than honoring the marriage and family covenants you have made or will make in the temples of God” (Henry B. Eyring, “Families under Covenant,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 62–65). Discuss with the class how they can prepare to make temple covenants or continue to keep covenants they have already made. How will temple covenants bless the lives of their spouse, children, and family members?

Ask the service members to share what they learned today. Do they understand how to prepare for their future roles as husbands and fathers or wives and mothers? What feelings or impressions do they have? Do they have any additional questions? Would it be worthwhile to spend more time on this topic?

Invite to act

Invite service members to set goals that will help them to strengthen their families and prepare to become righteous husbands and fathers or wives and mothers.

Teaching tip

“The Savior, the Master Teacher, is the perfect example of obedience to His Father. To be a Christlike teacher, perhaps the most important thing you can do is to follow the Savior’s example of obedience and live the gospel with all your heart—at home, at Church, and everywhere else. This is the principal way to qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. You don’t have to be perfect, just diligently trying—and seeking forgiveness through the Savior’s Atonement whenever you stumble” (Teaching in the Savior’s Way [2016], 13).

Teaching in the Savior’s Way

The Savior loved, prayed for, and continually served His disciples. He knew their interests, hopes, and desires and what was happening in their lives. What do you know about the service members you are serving? What can you do to help them become righteous husbands, fathers, wives, and mothers?