“Hinckleys to Note 60th Anniversary,” Eternal Marriage Student Manual (2003)“Hinckleys to Note 60th Anniversary,” Eternal Marriage Student ManualHinckleys to Note 60th AnniversaryDell Van OrdenChurch News, 19 Apr. 1997, 3President and Sister Hinckley talked about some of the essentials for a happy marriage.“Live the gospel,” President Hinckley admonished. “That is so important. That means a lot of things. That means sacrifice in some circumstances. That means love and appreciation and respect. That means self-discipline. That means curbing your temper and your tongue and being careful of what you say because words can wound just as deeply and just as seriously as can anything that inflicts bodily harm.“And you have to look on the bright side of things; you have to be optimistic and say, ‘We can make it!’”Develop and maintain respect for one another, he counseled. “You have to give and take in marriage. Another thing is a soft answer, keeping your voice down. Don’t lose your temper. Speak quietly. There will be differences,” President Hinckley continued, “but don’t get stirred up over them. Just be quiet and calm and speak softly one to another.”Sister Hinckley added: “You cannot be selfish in marriage. You have to have as your first priority the happiness and comfort of your spouse. If you work on that, then you are happy, too.”“Selfishness,” said President Hinckley, “brings about conflict and all of these difficulties that afflict so very, very many marriages. Being plain, downright selfish is the problem.”Continuing, he said, “[Marriage] requires a very substantial measure of self-discipline. Marriage is not all romance. Marriage is work. Marriage is effort. You have to accommodate one another. You have to look after one another. Another thing is to do everything you can to develop the talents, the resources, the opportunities of your companion.”“Some people,” said Sister Hinckley, “try to remake their spouse.”“Recognize your differences,” said President Hinckley. “You will find that is a very wholesome and stimulating thing.”President Hinckley also counseled husbands and wives to get out of debt. “Debt is a terrible thing. Anybody who lived through the Depression knows that debt is an enslaving thing. Stay out of debt and pay your bills promptly.“There is another thing; we have always talked together. There has been no lack of communication between us. I hear so many, many cases of unhappy marriages, of people who say ‘we can’t communicate with one another.’“There has been no lack of communication between us,” President Hinckley said.“We have had a very happy marriage,” he continued. “When I look back, I have no regrets. Through the years we have been blessed beyond any measure that we ever dreamed of. We have been so richly blessed. We have never lacked, I can honestly say. We have paid our tithing. That came first. We have lived modestly but comfortably and reasonably well. We have plowed our little furrow and enlarged it and gone forward with our lives.”“There is nothing really extraordinary about our lives,” he maintained.As the interview was ending, President Hinckley turned to his wife and said: “What she did as a parent she is doing as a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Now we, after 60 years of marriage, are smaller; we don’t stand as tall, we have shrunken a little.”“We move slower,” added Sister Hinckley.“We move slower,” said President Hinckley, “but we are happy and love one another.”Interview with President and Sister HinckleySome Essentials for a Happy MarriageLive the gospel.Love, appreciate each other.Develop self-discipline.Curb temper and tongue.Look on the bright side of things.Develop, maintain respect for one another.Give soft answer.Speak quietly.Don’t be selfish.Look after one another.Develop talents, opportunities of companion.Recognize differences.Pay tithing, stay out of debt.Develop ability to communicate with each other.