Learn—Maximum Time: 60 Minutes

1. What Is Emotional Resilience?

Read:

To become like the Savior, everyone will need to face challenges and hardships during this life. Dealing with life’s challenges successfully requires faith in Jesus Christ and emotional resilience. Emotional resilience is:

• The ability to adapt to emotional challenges with courage and faith centered in Jesus Christ.

• Helping yourself and others the best you can.

• Reaching out for additional help when needed.

This course is designed to strengthen you spiritually and teach you some basic skills for dealing with life’s challenges and disappointments. You’ll also learn from the experiences and help of other group members.

Ponder:

Ask yourself, why do you want to be more emotionally resilient? Write your answer below.

2. Accepting Challenges as Part of God’s Plan for Us

Read:

As the Father of our spirits, God is perfect, has all power, and knows all things. He loves each of us, and our progress is His work and glory. His plan for us is to grow and change until we become like Him. He allows us to be challenged, and if we respond in faith, the Lord will strengthen us and help us grow to become more like him. Being emotionally resilient helps us to be patient and grow from these challenges.

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire” (Elder Orson F. Whitney, as quoted in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], 98).

Watch:

“He Is Building a Palace,” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [1:19].

Discuss:

How have challenging experiences helped you grow in your life?

3. Using Agency to Act Responsibly

Read:

Even when bad things happen around us, we still get to choose how we respond. Taking responsibility for how we react, even when facing challenges, brings peace and power.

“As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90).

Challenges or unexpected changes may seem unfair. We may be tempted to respond in ways that are unproductive and not Christlike:

• Blame others

• Make excuses

• Rebel

• Complain

• Find fault

• Doubt

• Give up

• Procrastinate

• Get angry

• Indulge in self-pity

• Allow fear to rule

• Self-justify

Becoming emotionally resilient involves recognizing these responses in ourselves and using our agency to choose a more appropriate response.

ACTIVITY (5 minutes)

With a partner, review each situation below. Using the list in the previous paragraph, think of some of the unproductive responses that would apply to each situation. Discuss how we are tempted to respond and ways we can “act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26).

Situation	Unproductive Responses	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26)
Situation Example You weren’t selected for a job you really wanted.	Unproductive Responses Get angry and blame others. Doubt your abilities. Lose hope you’ll find a good job and quit trying.	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26) Ask for feedback from others. Find new skills you can learn or things that would give you more experience. Apply for other jobs.
Situation You were misjudged or embarrassed by someone you care about.	Unproductive Responses	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26)
Situation You made a mistake that hurt another individual.	Unproductive Responses	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26)
Situation Someone was dishonest with you and you lost money.	Unproductive Responses	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26)
Situation You have an illness that limits your ability to do things you could do in the past.	Unproductive Responses	Ways to Act Responsibly (2 Nephi 2:26)

Discuss:

When have you used your agency to act responsibly? How did it help you?

Watch:

“Mountains to Climb,” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [5:05].

Discuss:

Despite their challenges, what did the individuals in the video do to allow the Lord to help them?

Read:

“Having faith in Jesus Christ is to trust that because of His atoning sacrifice He will correct all injustices, restore all things lost, and mend all things broken, including hearts. He will make all things right, not leaving any detail unattended” (Lynn G. Robbins, “Be 100 Percent Responsible” [Brigham Young University devotional, Aug. 22, 2017], speeches.byu.edu).

Discuss:

How can faith in Jesus Christ help us endure challenges well?

4. The Blessings of Change

Read:

“At one time or another we’ve all heard some form of the familiar adage: ‘Nothing is as constant as change.’ Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly” (Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 84).

The Lord assures us that if we humble ourselves before Him, He can help us change for the better. “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

ACTIVITY (5 minutes)

Each week we will learn new skills to help us “act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26). Consider something you want to improve. If you have a change in mind, use the space below to record your ideas and impressions. If not, as you review the topics in this manual, you will likely discover ways that you want to change, and you can come back and record your thoughts and feelings here.

Something I want to change:

How could my life be different when I make this change?

5. Expressing Gratitude Daily

Read:

During these group meetings, one of your commitments each week will include writing down at least one thing you are grateful for each day. Expressing gratitude doesn’t mean that you deny or ignore feelings of pain or discouragement. It does mean that you acknowledge the blessings Heavenly Father has given you. For example, it could be when someone was kind to you or when you appreciated something you saw, smelled, heard, touched, or tasted.

Watch:

“Grateful in Any Circumstance,” available at https://churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/self-reliance-videos [1:06].

Discuss:

When has gratitude helped you or others experience happiness?