Ether 13–15

Overcoming Anger

frustrated young man with father in background

In His great love, Heavenly Father allows us to experience a wide range of emotions in mortality, such as love, peace, sadness, and frustration. Experiencing these emotions allows us to learn. As the Jaredites continued to rebel against the Lord, they allowed their emotions to lead to decisions that caused the destruction of their civilization. This lesson can help you overcome the temptation to act in anger throughout your life.

Invite students to act on what they learn. Give students opportunities to make a plan to act on what they have learned. Encourage them to follow through. Help them see the blessings of acting in Christlike ways.

Student preparation: Consider inviting students to ponder what it means that Jesus Christ is the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6) and what it means for us to be followers of Him.

Possible Learning Activities

The results of anger

Read or watch the following account, shared by President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018), of two brothers who lived together throughout their lives.

President Thomas S. Monson

Many years ago I read the following Associated Press dispatch which appeared in the newspaper: An elderly man disclosed at the funeral of his brother, with whom he had shared, from early manhood, a small, one-room cabin near Canisteo, New York, that following a quarrel, they had divided the room in half with a chalk line, and neither had crossed the line or spoken a word to the other since that day—62 years before. Just think of the consequence of that anger. (Thomas S. Monson, “School Thy Feelings, O My Brother,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 68–69)

• What do you learn from President Monson’s story of the two brothers? Why do you think this message is important in the world today?

Think about your own feelings and how often you get angry. Consider under which circumstances you might be angry and how that anger can influence your thinking, actions, and relationships.

A fragile circumstance destroyed by anger

In the prophet Ether’s time, the people were very wicked. Ether had to live in a cave to hide from those who sought to kill him. Rival armies were continuously at war. One army was led by a king named Coriantumr, and another was led at different times by various dissenters, including a man named Shared. Ether warned Coriantumr to repent or the people would be destroyed.

Read Ether 13:22–31, looking for how anger influenced people’s actions.

• What did you find?

The Jaredites’ destruction illustrates the dangers of holding on to anger. Coriantumr and his armies eventually succeeded in defeating Shared. But others arose to lead the dissenters, including Shiz. After millions of his people had already been killed, Coriantumr tried to stop the bloodshed by writing multiple letters to Shiz seeking peace.

Read Ether 15:5–6, 15–30, looking for the impact the Jaredites’ anger had on individuals and groups of people.

• In what ways did anger impact individuals such as Coriantumr, Shiz, and others? How did their anger impact people around them?

One truth that this account teaches is anger can lead us to make choices that hurt ourselves and others.

Due to the sensitive nature of the following question, it may be best for students to silently reflect on it and record their responses in their journals.

• How have you seen anger affect relationships between friends, teammates, ward members, or family members?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explained why we should seek to overcome feelings of anger and contention:

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Jesus has asked that we “live together in love” [Doctrine and Covenants 42:45] with “no disputations among you” [3 Nephi 11:22]. “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me,” He warned the Nephites [3 Nephi 11:29]. Indeed, to a great degree, our relationship to Christ will be determined—or at least affected—by our relationship to each other. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Reconciliation,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2018, 78)

Help students think about how anger may be influencing their lives and what they could do to overcome it. Some of the following questions may help.

• Why do you think our relationship with others affects our relationship with Jesus Christ?

• What makes it hard to avoid acting in anger?

• How can Jesus Christ help us overcome anger?

To help students come up with ways they could seek the Lord’s help to overcome anger, you could have them complete one or both of the following activities. They could complete one option as a class and the other option individually. Display instructions for students to follow.

Option A. The Savior’s example of kindness

Study at least one example in the Savior’s life when He could have reacted in anger but chose to respond with love and kindness. You could study His Crucifixion (see Luke 23:33–43) or when a woman who committed adultery was brought to Him (see John 8:1–11).

Invite students to share how they could follow the Savior’s example. They could think of a past experience when they acted in anger and record in their study journals how the outcome might have been different if they had acted more like the Savior.

Option B. Following the Savior’s example of kindness

For the following activity, help students remember to keep the scenarios appropriate.

Create a fictitious but realistic scenario where someone is angry with another person. Add some details, including names and a reason for the anger.

Consider inviting students to write their scenarios on a piece of paper and hand them in. You could briefly review them and then read several of the scenarios, inviting students to suggest Christlike ways to respond.

Alternately, students could work with a classmate and role-play responding to their scenarios.

Invitation to avoid anger

President Russell M. Nelson has said: “None of us can control nations or the actions of others or even members of our own families. But we can control ourselves” (“The Power of Spiritual Momentum,” Liahona, May 2022, 97).

Make a plan for what you can do to control yourself and overcome anger. Your plan may be related to the way you treat or react to specific people. It could include ways you can follow the Savior’s example. Be sure to include ways you can reach out to Heavenly Father for divine help before or during difficult situations.

Share your testimony that the Savior will help the students as they seek His help in avoiding and overcoming anger.

Commentary and Background Information

What if someone is trying to make me angry?

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated:

Elder David A. Bednar

In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation. (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90)

Where else can I learn about anger and how to overcome it?

Thomas S. Monson, “School Thy Feelings, O My Brother,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 62–69

“Handbook for Families: Dealing with Anger and Contention,” Ensign, Sept. 1988, 62–65

Supplemental Learning Activities

Ether 13:1–12. The New Jerusalem

To help students understand future events, invite them to study about the New Jerusalem. Ether taught that the New Jerusalem would be built on the American continent and that the ancient Jerusalem would also play an important role in the latter days. Consider inviting two students to come to the board and each to briefly sketch a city. Students could read Ether 13:1–12 and Articles of Faith 1:10, looking for what to label the two cities on the board and when these cities would be established.

Help students understand that in both the New Jerusalem and the Old Jerusalem, those who abide there will have their garments made white through the blood of the Lamb (see Ether 13:10–11). That is, they will receive the fulness of the gospel, be baptized into the Lord’s Church by proper authority, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Losing the Holy Ghost’s companionship

To illustrate the connection between anger and losing the companionship of the Holy Ghost, invite students to share examples of when they lost something important to them. Invite them to read Ether 13:14–22; 15:19, looking for what the Jaredites lost and why they lost it. Students could then discuss what could be done to regain the Spirit. You might invite them to reflect on what they are doing to keep the Holy Ghost’s presence in their own lives or what they may need to do to regain His presence.

Saved in the kingdom of God

To help students understand the importance of eternal perspective, students could study Ether’s final comments. After witnessing the wars and destruction of his people, Ether stated that being saved in the kingdom of God was his greatest focus.

At the beginning of the lesson, invite students to think of important goals, desires, and interests. They could draw a picture that represents their goals. After students have studied about the wars and destruction, invite them to read Ether 15:34, looking for what Ether stated was the most important thing to him. Students could discuss how having this eternal perspective, which is possible through the Savior, could have comforted Ether during this difficult time. They could then quietly reflect on their own goals and perspectives.