Seminary
Alma 59–61: Choosing Not to Be Offended

“Alma 59–61: Choosing Not to Be Offended,” Book of Mormon Teacher Manual (2024)

“Alma 59–61,” Book of Mormon Teacher Manual

Alma 59–61

Choosing Not to Be Offended

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two young women hugging

Have you ever misunderstood someone’s actions? Have others hurt you by their mistakes? Pahoran, chief judge of the Nephites, faced this challenge and had to choose how to respond. This lesson can inspire you to become more like Jesus Christ as you respond to others’ mistakes with increased love and patience.

Help learners identify Christlike attributes. The scriptures contain many accounts of faithful men and women who exemplified attributes of Jesus Christ in the way they lived. Help students learn about the Savior by recognizing how others have followed His example and developed these characteristics. Encourage students to look for ways they can cultivate Christlike attributes in their own lives.

Student preparation: Invite students to come to class prepared to share what makes it difficult to live the Savior’s teachings found in 3 Nephi 11:29–30 but why it is worth it to live those teachings.

Possible Learning Activities

When have you been tempted to feel offended?

Consider writing the word offended on the board.

At times, we may be tempted to feel offended. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles listed some reasons members told him that they were offended:

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Elder David A. Bednar

“A man said something in Sunday School that offended me. …”

“No one in this branch greeted or reached out to me. I felt like an outsider. …”

“I did not agree with the counsel the bishop gave me. …”

Many other causes of offense were cited—from doctrinal differences among adults to taunting, teasing, and excluding by youth. (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 89)

  • What are some other reasons we may be tempted to feel offended?

  • How does getting offended affect us?

Ponder the following questions:

  • When have you been tempted to feel offended? How did you react? Why?

  • How did the way you felt and acted affect your relationships with others and with the Lord?

As you continue to study, seek inspiration to find insights and truth that may help you in these situations.

Moroni’s letters

After learning that Helaman’s army lacked men and supplies to defend the Nephites from a large Lamanite army, Captain Moroni sent a letter to Pahoran, the Nephite chief judge. Moroni asked Pahoran to send reinforcements to Helaman’s army. No help arrived, and Helaman’s army continued to suffer. In the meantime, a Lamanite army conquered Nephihah, another city for which Moroni had expected to receive reinforcements (see Alma 59:9).

Invite students to share how they might have felt or what they might have done if they were in Moroni’s position.

Moroni was angry and wrote another letter to Pahoran. Read Alma 60:5–11, 30 to see part of Moroni’s message.

  • What do you see in Moroni’s letter that could have offended Pahoran?

Pahoran’s choice

Rather than reading the following paragraph, consider asking a student who is familiar with the account to share why Pahoran had not sent more reinforcements to Moroni’s army.

What Moroni did not know is that a group of wicked Nephites in league with the Lamanites had rebelled against Pahoran, causing him to flee for his life. The rebels took control of the capital city of Zarahemla. Pahoran was a righteous man who was trying to gather forces to retake Zarahemla (see Alma 61:1–8).

  • If you were Pahoran, how might you have been tempted to react to Moroni’s letter?

  • How could Pahoran’s reaction have affected the situation?

Alma 61 contains Pahoran’s response to Moroni. Read Alma 61:9, 17–21 to see how he responded.

  • What impresses you about Pahoran’s response?

  • What attributes do you see in Pahoran that remind you of Jesus Christ?

Elder Bednar shared an important truth we can learn from this account. (You might want to record part of this statement in your scriptures next to Alma 61:9.)

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Elder David A. Bednar

To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. …

… A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, “it mattereth not.” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90–91)

  • How would you explain the following truth to someone? We can choose not to be offended by the words and actions of others.

  • Why do you think Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want us to understand this truth?

The teachings and example of Jesus Christ

The Savior is the perfect example of this truth.

To help students ponder Jesus’s teachings and example, consider inviting them to discuss the following with a partner or small group:

  1. Read the teachings of Jesus Christ in 3 Nephi 11:29–30 and Matthew 5:43–48. What did you learn from His teachings?

  2. Think of an example of the Savior responding with patience and love to the mistakes and weaknesses of others. Why is it important to you to know that the Savior is patient and loving and not easily offended?

Invite several groups to share a highlight of what they discussed. As they share, thank them for their thoughts. Consider asking why what they learned is important and can help them in their lives. If useful, you could also invite students to think of an example of someone they know who, like the Savior and Pahoran, is patient and loving with others instead of feeling offended. Students could share whom they thought of and what they learned from their examples.

Consider inviting students to silently ponder or write their thoughts about the following question:

  • How could Pahoran’s and the Savior’s examples help you in a situation where someone has said or done something hurtful to you or a loved one?

The Lord’s help

Following the Savior’s example of not being offended can be difficult. Elder Bednar explained the help available to us when we don’t feel strong enough to overcome feelings of offense.

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Elder David A. Bednar

Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense. …

The capacity to conquer offense may seem beyond our reach. … The very nature of the Redeemer’s Atonement and the purpose of the restored Church are intended to help us receive precisely this kind of spiritual strength. (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2006, 90–91)

  • What did you learn from Elder Bednar’s comments?

  • What might someone do to seek help from the Savior when they are tempted to feel offended?

Take a few minutes to write a letter to your future self. What advice would you give yourself on how to respond when someone says or does something hurtful or offensive? Include what you learned from the Savior and Pahoran that you could apply in that situation. Also include how you might seek the Lord’s help.

Invite a few volunteers to share part of what they wrote. Testify that the Savior can help us when we don’t feel strong enough to respond with patience and love.