Teach Truth with Love
Teaching truth with love will be the hallmark of Christ’s disciples in the last days.
Introduction
It takes courage to stand for truth. It takes even more courage to stand for truth with love. President Dallin H. Oaks has repeatedly emphasized this message. Last general conference he explained the challenge: “When we seek to keep all the commandments in our personal lives, we are sometimes accused of having no love for those who don’t. When we show personal love and support loving causes, we are sometimes misunderstood as implying support for results that contradict our … religious duties.”
In preparing my message today, I have worried that some would selectively anchor only on truth or others would only anchor on love. I also worried some would see only others’ shortcomings and forget their own weaknesses. I remember when President Russell M. Nelson gave his talk on peacemaking, I started a mental list of everyone I thought needed his message. He then gave this caution: “You may be thinking … this message would really help someone [else] you know. … But I also hope that you will look deeply into your [own] heart to see if there are shards of pride or jealousy that prevent you from becoming a peacemaker.”
I extend that same invitation to all of us today.
Five Principles in Standing for Truth with Love
Several years ago I received an assignment to speak at Ensign College. President Oaks was the main devotional speaker, and he asked that I speak with him on some of the challenging doctrinal topics of the day. This was a daunting assignment. He then suggested that we not use formal written remarks. Now, I know we follow the prophet, but I hesitantly, even sheepishly, replied that for the sake of the Church, maybe we should write out at least what I said. He relented, and the devotional was entitled “Stand Fast with Love in Proclaiming Truth.” In the address, President Oaks shared five principles I have felt impressed to amplify today.
Principle 1: Avoid Overly Contentious Settings
First, avoid overly contentious settings. Elder Neil L. Andersen stated, “There are times when being a peacemaker means that we resist the impulse to respond and instead, with dignity, remain quiet.”
Consider Dostoevsky’s literary description of Christ and the Grand Inquisitor. After repeatedly being denounced, the Savior simply kissed His accuser with no further response. In a lesser way, I recently felt this when a group of national academic leaders aggressively criticized the role of faith in higher education. Recognizing the escalating tension of the moment, I chose at least for that setting to table the discussion despite my strong disagreement with what was being said.
Sometimes tense moments make it more difficult to see what is really causing someone’s protestations. President Nelson taught: “If friends and family should step away from the Church, continue to love them. … Do not be led astray by those whose doubts may be fueled by things you cannot see in their lives.” I think of Sister Anette Dennis’s story of the wounded dog who uncharacteristically wouldn’t respond to her owner. Sometimes what we perceive as hostility may actually be someone’s hidden pain or regret.
I failed to see this with a friend who had at one time been spiritually faithful but was now attacking the Church. My frustration came not just because of his bitterness but because I knew he knew better. Unfortunately, rather than recognize the tension of the moment or that he might be hurting for reasons I could not see, I shot back an angry retort. I may have won the debate in the moment, but I lost the Spirit and I failed to help my struggling friend. That day I stood for truth, but I did it without love and without charity.
Principle 2: Find Common Ground
A second way to stand for truth with love is to first find common ground. A stake president once brought me a long list of ministering visits. I suggested he choose just one home, given our schedule limitations. Technically he honored the request. But when we arrived at the home, there were five separate individuals waiting inside, each with a completely different concern. I asked, “Well, where do you want to start?” As I listened to their stories, I was tempted at times to interject, but the Spirit kept prompting me to wait. After nearly two hours of listening, going right through our next meeting, I began to better understand their struggles and I could feel their heartfelt strivings. And when I invited them to come to stake conference that evening, each one of them accepted.
Resisting the impulse to initially respond built common ground, which allowed me later to teach from a place of love. As with the Savior, “we love him, because he [loved us first].”
Principle 3: Be a Light
The third principle is to be a light. President Nelson taught: “Let your skeptical friends see how much you love the Lord and His gospel. Surprise their doubting hearts with your believing heart!” The best way to help someone else keep their covenants is to keep your covenants. As Sister Tamara Runia reminded us, “Stay at the tree, … continue to beckon to those you love … that eating the fruit is a happy thing!”
I shared earlier the story of a tense setting with academic leaders. Perhaps in part because I chose not to engage in the moment, later a university chancellor reached out for counsel in creating a course on character at one of the nation’s most prestigious academic institutions. Being a light opens more doors than any pointed argument ever will.
Principle 4: Hold to Truth Even in Our Outreach
Now, the fourth principle is to hold to truth even in our outreach. In April, President Oaks stated that showing love for others “does not mean surrendering our values. The covenants we have made inevitably position us as devoted participants in the eternal contest between truth and error.”
President Jeffrey R. Holland similarly reminded us, “Jesus clearly understood what many in our modern culture seem to forget: that there is a crucial difference between the commandment to forgive sin (which He had an infinite capacity to do) and the warning against condoning it (which He never ever did even once).”
President Holland simplified this further when he stated, “As near as I can tell, Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, ‘Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.’”
Some have argued that loving our neighbor (the second commandment) somehow supersedes or takes priority over loving God (the first commandment). But President D. Todd Christofferson pointed out: “Putting the first commandment first does not diminish or limit our ability to keep the second commandment. To the contrary, it amplifies and strengthens it. … Our love of God elevates our ability to love others more fully and perfectly because we in essence partner with God in the care of His children.”
When we try to love others by minimizing God’s laws, we separate ourselves from the one person who loves them the very most. The Savior showed love for the woman taken in adultery. But He also charged her to “go, and sin no more.”
Principle 5: Stay Anchored in Jesus Christ
President Nelson cautioned that the “messages [of the adversary] tend to be loud, bold, and boastful,” while Heavenly Father communicates “simply, quietly, and with such stunning plainness that we cannot misunderstand.” Christ modeled this perfectly for us.
The fifth principle then is to stay anchored in Jesus Christ. Ask yourself if you carry these Christlike attributes when you are striving to stand for truth with love: “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in … truth.”
Closing
For disciples of Jesus Christ, truth and love always walk together. I believe teaching truth with love will be the hallmark of Christ’s disciples in the last days. For some this will require greater conviction. For others it will demand greater charity. I know the Lord will help us as we strive to teach truth with love. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.